=WildCatholic;12023968]Is it? I’m 25 and while i’ve had a few dates here and their, i haven’t really had a relationship with anyone. Now I know people will be sympathetic on here, but be honest, would it be a turnoff to find a 25 year old man who’d never had some sort of relationship before? I mean i had such bad self esteem issues throughout high school that I couldn’t even ask girls to dances because I thought I was a “fat ugly weird loser” and in college I focused on school but was still afraid to ask women out.
A woman worth her salt isn’t going to worry about your past dating experience. It will only be an issue if you make it one.
If things aren’t going great on a date and you’re making rookie mistakes, I suppose you can admit to not have all the dating experience in the world, but do NOT turn it into a pity party.
That will turn any good woman away in a split second.
Now it feels like its the same old refrain. I’m still scared, granted now it’s my economic situation (I’m living at home getting my masters) as well as my experience.
That’s not a problem.
But as one article suggested “don’t think she’ll be impressed if you watch the Star Wars trilogy in your Mom’s basement.”
In other words, go OUT with her and do something FUN.
Sadly on this site I hear about guys who don’t have experience at a certain point (especially over 30) and are considered creepy, weird, odd,etc.
That’s because they aren’t communicating properly with a woman.
Listen, you can’t be this stereotypical “nice guy” who is too afraid to make a move and just sit around staring at women admiring them from afar. That’s probably along the lines what they find “creepy”.
They notice those kinds of things.
Otherwise, if a guy doesn’t know how to communicate with a woman (ie he tells her he likes her right away without knowing how she feels), yeah, that’s pretty awkward for a woman because if she doesn’t feel the same way, she can get caught up in a web of “I don’t want to hurt his feelings or string him along”. Some women may even start being mean to get you to be the one to go away so it will stop.
Ugh. What a mess that can be.
It makes me wonder if i’m heading down that path and the path to single hood since every year less and less women are available,
Dude, there’s plenty of women out there! Sounds cliche…but it’s not. If you joined Catholic Match, you’d find that’s not the case.
and at this point I won’t date someone with kids, I’m not big on dating non-catholics (only because I grew up in a house where my mother converted just to marry my dad and really didn’t do it for any other reason, though there may be exceptions) and I also won’t date lukewarm Catholics (and by lukewarm I mean don’t go to mass at least every week and disagree with church teachings).
Do NOT settle! :nope:
Listen, if you don’t want to date non-Catholics or luke-warm Catholics, then don’t!
As for people with kids, well, come on! You’re 25, not a widower or annulled 45 year old.
All of this stuff about dating orthodox Catholics, people without kids or living at home while getting a degree----it’s not as big of a deal as you are making it out to be.
You just need more practice and confidence. To which I say:
Don’t think of yourself as society’s neat little “nice guy”. That kind of person can creep a girl out under the right circumstances because the “nice guy” thinks he’s going to follow the superhero routine to get the girl or that she’ll grow out of dating all the jerks (the ONLY other possibility in their narrow world view) and notice them.
All you need to do is for starters just talk to her and communicate romantically. As dating guru Marius Panzerella puts it: flirt, make her laugh, compliment her!
It’s going to take practice, but you can do it!
if someone wants to date you just because you had a lot of relationships, are popular, etc, - isn’t that kind of superficial? I guess it’s “natural” to be drawn to that, but it’s also not really looking at the person more deeply.
) Slowly building friendly relationships - even those that are limited in scope - will help with loneliness, expand the number of other people you meet, and build your confidence for future relationships - not easy, perhaps, but worth doing.