WOW you are out of touch, do you have any children? If not when was the last time you were a 19-23 year old? Did you play rosary games, Bible sword drills etc…?
Again you CAN teach a child the benefits of chastity AND teach them that if they ever do fail and dissapoint to be sure to be safe as possible. The two are NOT mutually exclusive! If you disagree with that fine, but you can’t offer a single shred of proof or evidence that your way is the correct line of thinking. It’s nothing other than your imagination.
Sorry if I accept reality that my kids probably won’t be playing rosary games whatever the heck those are when they’re away at College. But I do know there’s no problem in teaching a child to wait for sex and how to protect themselves in the meantime.
Okay, I’ve been lurking on the sidelines long enough; I’ve got to step in and agree with Lukewarm even if it means incuring the wrath of those who disagree. Let me share some personal history with you: I am a 49 year old woman who was raised Southern Baptist, no sex, no drinking, etc… My family is very conservative and I was raised to be the same way - as were most of my friends. Well, guess what? We rebelled. We had boyfriends and we had sex. Birth control pills were harder to get back then so we look some big risks. Luckily, we didn’t get any STDs (and this was pre-AIDS) and didn’t get pregnant though we knew girls who did. Most of them had abortions because they were terrified of their parents - see, they had been raised so strick and warned about hell, etc., so the very idea of talking to their folks was out of the question (in these cases those strict rules kind of backfired). None of us felt we could talk to our parents about our sexual feelings and the urges we had as a result of going through puberty - so we talked to each other - the blind leading the blind. We felt our parents were out of touch and had no idea of the reality we were living and they didn’t try to understand. This is a classic story of teen angst and alienation from parents and it’s a lot more common now than it was 30-odd years ago. Kids reach a certain age, back then it was 16 or so, when although not adults, they aren’t children anymore either. And you can’t hide your kids from the world forever. How will they be prepared to live in today’s society if they are naive? Why can’t you just give them all the facts? Show you think they are capable of making the right decision instead of making it for them? You could say something like, “those who believe in using birth control use: give examples. But, of course, we know that’s wrong.”
Yes, I agree that I made a lot of mistakes, but my point is that all the threats in the world didn’t stop me and I wasn’t alone. My sponser when I became Catholic was tradtional and brought her kids up just as you are suggesting. One day her 16 year old daughter came home in her Catholic school uniform and announced she was pregnant. Do you really think your kids deserve to possibly die as a result of making a mistake (should they get AIDS)? Don’t you want them to feel they can come to you with questions and concerns and that you will listen to them and respect their feelings instead of damning them? Some kids will abstain and some won’t and you can’t tell from upbringing which they will be (part of the point of my story). I dont’t have kids but if I did I’d tell them my story, let them know I made mistakes and hope they could learn from them. But I’d be realistic enough to know that they might not. And I’d be there for them when they realized their error, and I’d forgive them (as would God) and I’d love them and I’d be glad they knew enough to protect themselves so I didn’t have to watch them die.
As I said at the start, I know a lot of people will disagree, but I thought you might benefit from hearing a real story instead of just theorizing on the hypothetical. Growing up is hard because there are so many things to learn and experience, being a parent is hard because you know how painful learning and experience can be. Try to work together and love each other. Trust and be willing to forgive. You’re the only parents your kids get.
