Please identify what specific advice was given that you regard as unacceptable.
Try this inappropriate advice for a minute. Thinking it will certainly make you laugh, I hope.
If what you say is true, and there is no reason to doubt it, you are in deep trouble. This kind of behavior is absolutely unacceptable. I have a few pieces of advice. First, go to a restaurant store nearby. Look for the biggest frying pan you can find and smash it across his head. That’ll knock some sense into him. I’m a guy, in case you haven’t figure it out yet. I smashed a chair into my father once for abusing my grandmother. It stopped him. He was 6’4" compared to my 5’10". He outweighed me by almost a 100 lbs. I finally got tired of his abuse. I was 23 years old at the time. He punched me in the chest for the first time. But it was not the physical abuse but rather the emotional abuse all my life that made me break. Shortly after I joined the Army to prove to him I was a better man than him. I approach my marriage with the same thing in mind, Ephesians 5. I sacrifice for my wife. She is the weaker vessel but is such a wonderful person I don’t know what I’d do without her. At least I’m smart enough to know that. It sounds like your hubby needs to learn this lesson.
This, in guy terms, is a sign of a man who doesn’t have any … well lets say part of the lower extremities. He is not stepping up to the plate as a
real man. Introduce him to Ephesians Chapter 5 and make him read it to you several times. Find a plaque and post it in the most prominent place in the home. In fact, read it to your children regularly. If you have any boys this passage alone will make them think twice about treating women poorly. Stand up for yourself. NEVER allow him to act like this to you, especially in front of your children.
Consult with your pastor immediately about the abuse and let him know what’s happening in the home. Start protecting yourself financially and legally. You have to stand up for yourself. If you don’t you’ll lose respect from your children, who you should be protecting from this abuse. Put it in those terms if you must. I would also consider getting into counseling ASAP. Never listen to idiots that try to steer you away from seeking help either. It’s more important to make sure you get the emotional support you need. But if you think you may need help for depression, make sure you get help and if necessary medication.
There is no difference in taking medicine for depression as it is for diabetes. My wife takes it and it calms her down. I see a major difference. But it doesn’t make her clean more. Like me, if he wants a perfectly clean house then get off his lazy duff and clean.
My aunt finally divorced her emotionally abusive husband, my uncle, who was known for extramarital affairs. I caught him once many years ago. If I said his name people would know exactly who I’m talking about. He was a very well known public figure. My aunt is now an emotional wreck. And so are her children, young adults now. They’ve all left the Church and are practicing Methodists I believe. PLEASE, take care of yourself. Do NOT allow him to walk on you like a door mat. Some men, though pretty sorry, can’t stand to see women cow down to them. I’d suggest “manning” up to him and making him bow down in respect. But I’m a guy. There is no excuse for this behavior.
I think the saying shape up or ship out is in order. It’s time to begin establishing healthy boundaries, dear. You may need some counseling no matter what you decide to do and how he reacts to your new found confidence. And you should demand his respect. You owe it to your children if you have difficulty thinking of yourself. .
I will be praying for you.
