Exactly. An unrepentant person doesn’t suddenly repent when they are put in jail, either. They may rue the day they murdered that person because of the punishment, but the sentence isn’t going to make the person repent and change. Sexual predators don’t suddenly become safe once they are sentenced. Most criminals go on to offend again. It’s a rare person who becomes reformed in prison.
We have to be careful to emphasize the ‘timeless’ nature of Heaven though. If it is ‘rare’ that a person reforms/repents in prison, that means that it is still possible.
But it is impossible to repent in Hell. . .or, for that matter, to do evil in Heaven.
Because there is no ‘time’. I know that annoys the hell
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out of some people, who simply cannot fathom an existence outside of time, but it is true. Infinity is not endless time, but existence beyond and out of time.
Here’s the thing. Time is a finite thing. One speaks of ‘infinite time’ but that would by definition be composed of finite parts and so it, itself, is finite. A whole which is composed of finite parts by definition is itself finite, so the whole of an ‘infinity’ which is composed of finite particles of time cannot be ‘infinite’ itself.
And we know that God truly is infinite. And we know that we will be united to Him in Heaven, or refusing to unite with Him in Hell.
But that refusal to unite does not mean that God doesn’t exist for souls in Hell. Rather, they exist exactly in a sense as the souls in Heaven. . .they see the face of God, they are aware of the thoughts of God, they are given the love of God. . .
But for the souls who choose to obey God in Heaven, seeing God’s face is blissful, hearing His thoughts is more satisfying that the greatest music, feeling His love is more than the highest and deepest love they had on earth.
While for the souls in Hell, seeing God’s face is like torture. Hearing his thoughts is like hearing awful unending noise. Feeling His love is like being burned by the hottest and unending fire.
Same conditions --different ‘receptions’, made by choice with full knowledge and consent.
Because God’s gifts to us --His Face, His thoughts, His love–are free. They exist because He exists. We cannot help experiencing them when we exist with Him, but we CAN choose how we experience them.
And once we are dead and ‘in the experience’, there is no ‘finite time’ but rather an infinite ‘now’. It isn’t a question of "I don’t have free will anymore’, it is, “I have freely chosen and I continue to choose”, all experienced as ‘now’, yet encompassing an array of unending mutual exchanges of either God’s love/our love, or God’s love/our rejection.
And remember, those who choose hell never go there unknowingly. They never go unwillingly. They never ‘don’t quite realize’ or ‘change their minds’ because there is nothing TO change. God is timeless, God is endless, God is changeless, and we one day will be united to Him so we will be the same.
God is not unfair. But expecting Him to abide by what you as a human, a finite, fallible human, think ‘must’ be true about life after death, when you have never experienced it, and when it contradicts what He Himself has told you (through Scripture and the Church). . .that’s unfair.