Keeping up mom's health and morale

[alphawoman]

I never quite understand the hullabaloo over makeup. My daytime routine takes me inside of 5 minutes to compete and includes: moisturizer, eyeshadow, foundation, a smoky eyeshadow combo, eyeliner, curled eyelashes, mascara, lipstick, lip gloss, and perfume.

It’s not an issue of affordability, either. I replace my foundation, mascara, and moisturizer quarterly, the others every 6 months. I basically never buy myself make-up because it’s a gift of choice from my mother and best friends for birthday, Mother’s Day, and Christmas. I get a free lipstick every time I return 6 empty foundation bottles to the store. My foundation has the added benefit of doubling as sunscreen.

I lay out all my tools and products on the counter before I start. The time breakdown is:

1. Pump out moisturizer and slather on face: 15 seconds
2. Ditto foundation: 15 seconds
3. Wash excess foundation off hands: 30 seconds
4. Apply blush: 10 seconds
5. Apply first shade of eyeshadow: 20 seconds
6. Apply second eye shadow colour: 20 seconds
7. Eyeliner: 30 seconds with powder and a wide eyeliner brush
8. Curl eyelashes: 30 seconds
9. Apply mascara: 15 seconds
10. Apply lipstick: 10 seconds
11. Apply gloss: 10 seconds
12. Spritz perfume in hair and on skin: 10 seconds

So that’s sub-4. Add another minute to tidy up eyebrows once a week with tweezers and you’re golden!

I used to have a colleague who bragged abut spending over an hour on her makeup every day. I couldn’t imagine what she was doing!

I should add that, particularly when I am tanned in summer, I’ll pare down my routine t sunscreen, mascara, and lip gloss to give my skin a break.

 

[alphawoman]

Re: the larger topic of self-care…YES, it’s a MUST!

Whether your particular flavour of self-care is clothing, exercise, make-up, study, uninterrupted solo time, whatever…mothers, like all humans, need to feel their well-being is important.

My personal outlets are exercise and professional attire. After 4 years of self neglect, I am finally paying the piper. Not valuing yourself in the small things takes a psychological toll and creates a precedent of undermining innate needs if left unchecked. I recently decided I miss the me who can knock out a dozen pull-ups without breaking a sweat, and wears gorgeous suits, sassy dresses, and heels as late as 8 months pregnant with DS. She IS me, and I won’t let her be denied any longer!

 

[pensmama87]

I never quite understand the hullabaloo over makeup. My daytime routine takes me inside of 5 minutes to compete and includes: moisturizer, eyeshadow, foundation, a smoky eyeshadow combo, eyeliner, curled eyelashes, mascara, lipstick, lip gloss, and perfume.

It’s not an issue of affordability, either. I replace my foundation, mascara, and moisturizer quarterly, the others every 6 months. I basically never buy myself make-up because it’s a gift of choice from my mother and best friends for birthday, Mother’s Day, and Christmas. I get a free lipstick every time I return 6 empty foundation bottles to the store. My foundation has the added benefit of doubling as sunscreen.

I lay out all my tools and products on the counter before I start. The time breakdown is:

1. Pump out moisturizer and slather on face: 15 seconds
2. Ditto foundation: 15 seconds
3. Wash excess foundation off hands: 30 seconds
4. Apply blush: 10 seconds
5. Apply first shade of eyeshadow: 20 seconds
6. Apply second eye shadow colour: 20 seconds
7. Eyeliner: 30 seconds with powder and a wide eyeliner brush
8. Curl eyelashes: 30 seconds
9. Apply mascara: 15 seconds
10. Apply lipstick: 10 seconds
11. Apply gloss: 10 seconds
12. Spritz perfume in hair and on skin: 10 seconds

So that’s sub-4. Add another minute to tidy up eyebrows once a week with tweezers and you’re golden!

I used to have a colleague who bragged abut spending over an hour on her makeup every day. I couldn’t imagine what she was doing!

I should add that, particularly when I am tanned in summer, I’ll pare down my routine t sunscreen, mascara, and lip gloss to give my skin a break.

I don’t do quite this much, but yeah, I can get a lot done fast.

(If you’ve ever watched “What Not to Wear,” I do something very similar to Carmindy’s five minute face, and then I have a couple extra things for date night or other special occasions.)

YouTube is great for makeup tutorials.

 

[pensmama87]

6pm.com for really reasonable BRAND NAME shoes. I got a really nice pair of mootsies tootsies for less than $20 there. Have been buying sketchers and various brands ever since. Also the crocs website (yes crocs is making regular, nice shoes) has great sales.

Thanks! I typically do Payless, but really, their stuff falls apart fast.

 

[Exiled_Child]

I’m praying, Xantippe.

 

[Xantippe]

Thanks! I typically do Payless, but really, their stuff falls apart fast.

I might still do Payless for a basically disposable shoe (special occasion for growing child) but from talking to my oldest’s physical therapist and my podiatrist, it looks like my older daughter and I need more shoe than Payless sells.

 

[UbiCaritas]

I’ll dab on a little concealer now and then, but I never really got the big Girl 101 course growing up, so there are whole areas of makeup that are a complete mystery to me. (Eyeliner–what is it for??? And foundation–how do you use it without winding up with a creepy clown look???)

One of these days, I’m going to get myself to the makeup counter and finally learn all of this stuff.

You should! You may even find it rather fun. A family friend kind of took me under her wing on matters makeup when I was a late teenager, which really helped my self-confidence as I’ve never had terribly good skin. (No major acne, thank goodness, but very inconsistent tone, and super oily.)

I have a routine similar to alpha’s–while it sounds like a lot, I’ve timed it, and it really does take just five minutes, and leaves me feeling far more awake/aware/pretty/ready-to-go than if I skip it. Of course, YMMV, as with anything on the Interwebz.

 

[jmjZelie]

My mother was a Mary Kay consultant when I was a young teen. I learned how to do makeup application when I was 14 years old. Only I cannot wear foundation or concealer, because I am allergic to something in them. So I opt for a really careful skin care routine and then play up the eye area with hypoallergenic makeup. It takes me five minutes or less. I do a brow pencil, two shimmery copper/bronze shadows, bronze eyeliner, mascara, and maybe a spot of blush on the cheek and I am done. I use Burt’s Bees makeup remover wipes for sensitive skin to take off the eye makeup at night. So the makeup routine itself takes very little time. I love to wear a body spray instead of a perfume and I have a drawer full of things to do with my hair and I try to do something different every day. I remember watching a show a few years ago, and two male characters were talking about one of the female lead characters, and one was mentioning “she always does something different with her hair” and it was obvious that was considered an attractive thing. That really stuck with me and since then, as an act of love for my husband, I have tried to learn new hairstyles and I do something different each day. I also research how to do different haircuts on YouTube and I give myself new haircuts a few times a year. I also do fairly frequent pedicures and manicures.
I haven’t figured out how to consistently get daily exercise done yet, which I think is important for my morale, too. That is something I really need to make a priority. But beauty routines I CAN do, and it makes me happy, so I do.

 

[alphawoman]

Zelie, what kind of exercise do you enjoy most?

 

[jmjZelie]

Zelie, what kind of exercise do you enjoy most?

I am boring. I just like walking or getting on my elliptical trainer.

 

[pianistclare]

Re: the larger topic of self-care…YES, it’s a MUST!

Whether your particular flavour of self-care is clothing, exercise, make-up, study, uninterrupted solo time, whatever…mothers, like all humans, need to feel their well-being is important.

My personal outlets are exercise and professional attire. After 4 years of self neglect, I am finally paying the piper. Not valuing yourself in the small things takes a psychological toll and creates a precedent of undermining innate needs if left unchecked. I recently decided I miss the me who can knock out a dozen pull-ups without breaking a sweat, and wears gorgeous suits, sassy dresses, and heels as late as 8 months pregnant with DS. She IS me, and I won’t let her be denied any longer!

 

[pianistclare]

You should! You may even find it rather fun. A family friend kind of took me under her wing on matters makeup when I was a late teenager, which really helped my self-confidence as I’ve never had terribly good skin. (No major acne, thank goodness, but very inconsistent tone, and super oily.)

I have a routine similar to alpha’s–while it sounds like a lot, I’ve timed it, and it really does take just five minutes, and leaves me feeling far more awake/aware/pretty/ready-to-go than if I skip it. Of course, YMMV, as with anything on the Interwebz.

My daughter is an esthetician, and high end makeup rep:

youtube.com/watch?v=jLmWJxdTEkw

She’s cute. This is what an hour of makeup looks like, LOL
Needless to say I don’t have that kind of time, But she has like thousands of followers on Instragram, Tumblr, etc. Makeup companies send her their products to review and post about, and they give her discount codes to pass on to her followers. So no, she didn’t really purchase most of that stuff. It comes free, in a box. Something in the mailbox everyday! One company sent her eyelashes made out of mink! Never had any idea that they even made such stuff. Kind of interesting…needless to say, she sees me as a big ol’ project.
I know it sounds likes she’s obsessed, but hey, she’s in the business.

 

[jmjZelie]

My daughter is an esthetician, and high end makeup rep:

youtube.com/watch?v=jLmWJxdTEkw

She’s cute. This is what an hour of makeup looks like, LOL
Needless to say I don’t have that kind of time, But she has like thousands of followers on Instragram, Tumblr, etc. Makeup companies send her their products to review and post about, and they give her discount codes to pass on to her followers. So no, she didn’t really purchase most of that stuff. It comes free, in a box. Something in the mailbox everyday! One company sent her eyelashes made out of mink! Never had any idea that they even made such stuff. Kind of interesting…needless to say, she sees me as a big ol’ project.
I know it sounds likes she’s obsessed, but hey, she’s in the business.

Is that your daughter? She is lovely.

 

[KnitNut]

I think it is very much personal preference and not nearly as important as it is usually made out to be. If I’m uncomfortable I’m not nearly as productive or affectionate so I dress how I am comfortable. If fashion were important to me then yes I would dress fashionably because that would make me more comfortable. There isn’t really a right or wrong here, just another way people are judgmental towards moms. If we spend too much time or money on our appearance people judge that. If we don’t spend enough time or money, people judge that. It’s all just silliness really.

And Bitterhope wins the Internet today.

Add me to the no-makeup, functional/casual clothes club. It’s just not a priority for me. Uh…unlike those new skates, because ice hockey has become my drug of choice, for physical exercise and feeling good about myself. (And lemme tell ya, learning to play after age 40 was an exercise in stepping out boldly in the face of all manner of judgy judges.) Ironically, there are under-30s women on the ice in, you got it, full makeup. So, there really is no “wrong”. (Though makeup that withstands hockey sweat?! Better living through chemistry, indeed.) Then again, it’s a co-ed league, so I suspect there’s some husband-hunting going on.

Interesting about the FlyLady having to do the makeup & all during her (name removed by moderator)atient treatment for depression. I can see where using that routine to reinforce self-investment & personal attention would be a useful technique. But it, too, is merely a vehicle to developing self-esteem, self-respect, etc…a tool. The bigger step, maybe, was recognizing that there was a problem and finding the personal support/help to seek a solution in the first place. That “intervention” for lack of a better word. How can we, as moms, recognize those moms-in-need who would benefit from support in this area? That’s the harder question?

 

[pianistclare]

Is that your daughter? She is lovely.

Yes, thank you Her little seester is much the same but more smiley!

 

[Xantippe]

Add me to the no-makeup, functional/casual clothes club. It’s just not a priority for me. Uh…unlike those new skates, because ice hockey has become my drug of choice, for physical exercise and feeling good about myself. (And lemme tell ya, learning to play after age 40 was an exercise in stepping out boldly in the face of all manner of judgy judges.) Ironically, there are under-30s women on the ice in, you got it, full makeup. So, there really is no “wrong”. (Though makeup that withstands hockey sweat?! Better living through chemistry, indeed.) Then again, it’s a co-ed league, so I suspect there’s some husband-hunting going on.

That’s hilarious!

 

[bitterhope]

Just to throw something else into the mix, I think there is morale of more than just the mom to consider. I heard it discussed with some lovely women I know that their appearances (over time) impact the morale of their children.

I am not talking about toddlers, but middle-school aged children and young teens. As moms and dads we are the concrete images for what future married life and motherhood encompass. I knew a mom who discovered her boys had a partially negative view of marriage and family life, because that meant your wife never wore makeup anymore and only wore sweatpants and they liked pretty girls! Granted, this is a somewhat shallow view and she was raising her boys to believe marriage was deeper than that, but her appearance DID have an impact on both her boys and girls as did the other moms that they knew. This isn’t to say a mom needs to dress in high heels and pearls daily, but to take care of our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit, and also to model our vocations with beauty because the eye is drawn to beauty and that’s what we want!

And that’s fine if you feel it’s important but many of us don’t. I feel very uncomfortable in make up. My face feels gross and I itch. No joke. I truly despise make up. But if my daughters want to wear it I’m fine with that. My oldest shows no interest yet but one day she might. Or my younger girls. Same goes for nicer clothes. What works for others is fine but it isn’t right to judge the rest of us for not feeling the same way.

 

[UbiCaritas]

So, I thought those of you on this thread would find this funny.

I got up this morning and did, well, nearly all of it. Hair. (Taught myself how to do a messy bun, and it even looked cute!) Makeup, with eyeliner, even. Cute new dress. Perfume. (I do so love perfume…why do I so rarely spritz some on?) Earrings. The works. I looked GOOD for Mass!

Made everyone pancakes, and got us out the door–get this–*on time *for Mass. We got there while they were still singing the prelude! Dang, I was good.

Got home, and got DD her lunch. Tidied the kitchen a bit, and then decided to have a little leftover Thanksgiving stuffing for lunch myself. Did so.

Three minutes later, Baby decided to take an anti-stuffing stance, and my lunch reappeared, with sufficient force ahem to burst blood vessels all around my eyes. I ordinarily don’t puke when pregnant, but apparently Baby will not tolerate sharing his or her space with stuffing. (Silly Baby; I make awesome stuffing. You don’t know what you’re missing, kid.) And there was…splashback. All over the dress. And my legs.

So, I took a shower, pinned my hair up any which way to give it volume for tomorrow, took a much-needed nap, and am now, stomach rather more settled, having a nice, healthy, belated lunch consisting of ice cream while wearing palazzo pants and an old college tee.



I think I’ll be digging out the concealer tomorrow. Right now, I look like something that died last week and didn’t get the memo.

 

[Allegra]

What do nice clothes have to do with health and morale? Sounds like just one more blamed thing to worry about. I certainly agree that taking care of one’s health and hygiene is important.

I agree I never cared about clothes to start with, and if I can find the funds to treat myself, I sure as heck wouldn’t spend it on that !

 

[bitterhope]

So, I thought those of you on this thread would find this funny.

I got up this morning and did, well, nearly all of it. Hair. (Taught myself how to do a messy bun, and it even looked cute!) Makeup, with eyeliner, even. Cute new dress. Perfume. (I do so love perfume…why do I so rarely spritz some on?) Earrings. The works. I looked GOOD for Mass!

Made everyone pancakes, and got us out the door–get this–*on time *for Mass. We got there while they were still singing the prelude! Dang, I was good.

Got home, and got DD her lunch. Tidied the kitchen a bit, and then decided to have a little leftover Thanksgiving stuffing for lunch myself. Did so.

Three minutes later, Baby decided to take an anti-stuffing stance, and my lunch reappeared, with sufficient force ahem to burst blood vessels all around my eyes. I ordinarily don’t puke when pregnant, but apparently Baby will not tolerate sharing his or her space with stuffing. (Silly Baby; I make awesome stuffing. You don’t know what you’re missing, kid.) And there was…splashback. All over the dress. And my legs.

So, I took a shower, pinned my hair up any which way to give it volume for tomorrow, took a much-needed nap, and am now, stomach rather more settled, having a nice, healthy, belated lunch consisting of ice cream while wearing palazzo pants and an old college tee.



I think I’ll be digging out the concealer tomorrow. Right now, I look like something that died last week and didn’t get the memo.

I’ve been there. Big part of why I go for comfort. Nice still looks bad with puke or leaking diaper, so I might as well be comfortable. Besides, work clothes wash better and hold up better to repeated laundering.