Kiss between boyfriend/girlfriend during the Sign of Peace

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The GIRM calls for the Conference of Bishops to decide on the gesture for the sign of peace and also says that it is only to be shared with those who are near and in a sober manner. Guess some people interpret sober/near to mean reaching across three pew or leaving the pew to go shake hands with the person 5 rows back.

As for how the sign of peace is shared, why have our two conferences of bishops NOT set that? Is it because they know it won’t be followed?
 
JimG said:
Yes, it is intended as a sign of peace (a liturgical sign) not a public display of affection. Still, for all the ladies who like to kiss at the sign of peace, please let me know so I can stand next to you. 🙂
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:kiss4you:
 
Not yet touched on is what the *clergy *do at the Sign of Peace. At our parish, the priest and deacon(s) exchange a hug (and I don’t mean the old ritualistic hands-on-shoulders gesture), but more like a “bro hug.” Is this appropriate?
 
Tarpeian_Rock said:
Not yet touched on is what the *clergy *do at the Sign of Peace. At our parish, the priest and deacon(s) exchange a hug (and I don’t mean the old ritualistic hands-on-shoulders gesture), but more like a “bro hug.” Is this appropriate?
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I always found the hands on shoulder gesture slightly amusing.
 
Tarpeian_Rock said:
Not yet touched on is what the *clergy *do at the Sign of Peace. At our parish, the priest and deacon(s) exchange a hug (and I don’t mean the old ritualistic hands-on-shoulders gesture), but more like a “bro hug.” Is this appropriate?
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Probably not but until we all get some clear understanding of the Rite of Peace and are given the manner in which to extend it, I don’t think it is worth complaining about.
 
Even IF the Bishops established a particular sign of peace, I doubt they would agree that signs of affection that are natural and appropriate to specific relationships would then be excluded. Regarding holding hands at the Pater Noster, for example, Cardinal Arinze, then head of the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, said that no one could be made to hold hands, as it was not a prescribed gesture for the people. He also said that that would not prohibit husbands and wives holding hands, parents with their children, etc, at that point, as it was a natural and spontaneous gesture. I attend Mass with my little godson’s family on Sunday evenings and at the Sign of Peace, I kiss him on top of his head. I think people should unclench on this. It’s probably as wrong to go looking for a reason to be scandalized as it is to offer scandal.
 
JKirkLVNV said:
Even IF the Bishops established a particular sign of peace, I doubt they would agree that signs of affection that are natural and appropriate to specific relationships would then be excluded. Regarding holding hands at the Pater Noster, for example, Cardinal Arinze, then head of the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, said that no one could be made to hold hands, as it was not a prescribed gesture for the people. He also said that that would not prohibit husbands and wives holding hands, parents with their children, etc, at that point, as it was a natural and spontaneous gesture. I attend Mass with my little godson’s family on Sunday evenings and at the Sign of Peace, I kiss him on top of his head. I think people should unclench on this. It’s probably as wrong to go looking for a reason to be scandalized as it is to offer scandal.
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JKirkLVNV said:
Even IF the Bishops established a particular sign of peace, I doubt they would agree that signs of affection that are natural and appropriate to specific relationships would then be excluded. Regarding holding hands at the Pater Noster, for example, Cardinal Arinze, then head of the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, said that no one could be made to hold hands, as it was not a prescribed gesture for the people. He also said that that would not prohibit husbands and wives holding hands, parents with their children, etc, at that point, as it was a natural and spontaneous gesture. I attend Mass with my little godson’s family on Sunday evenings and at the Sign of Peace, I kiss him on top of his head. I think people should unclench on this. It’s probably as wrong to go looking for a reason to be scandalized as it is to offer scandal.
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👍
 
JKirkLVNV said:
He also said that that would not prohibit husbands and wives holding hands, parents with their children, etc, at that point, as it was a natural and spontaneous gesture. I attend Mass with my little godson’s family on Sunday evenings and at the Sign of Peace, I kiss him on top of his head. I think people should unclench on this. It’s probably as wrong to go looking for a reason to be scandalized as it is to offer scandal.
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I agree, but do you think it is appropriate for two people who are dating?
 
Ana_v said:
Yesterday at Mass I participated in the Youth Choir, and, during the Sign of Peace, out of my peripheral vision I saw two members (in their early twenties) of the Youth Choir, that are in a relationship, accompany the Sign of Peace with a kiss (that I’m pretty sure was on the lips). It seemed quick, and I doubt it caused any distraction (the parishioners in the pews are not focused ahead – they’re moving and looking to their sides – which is where the choir seats/stands, facing the pews during Mass, the exception being of course, during the Sign of Peace). Nevertheless, is this permissible/appropriate?
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TrueLight said:
I agree, but do you think it is appropriate for two people who are dating?
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🤷
 
Allegra said:
There’s a marked difference between a sign of peace kiss and a romantic kiss. At least for me, anyway!
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It must be me, but I think a kiss on the lips is intimate. And I think if you are dating, it’s not appropriate for mass. So one week, you’ll be kissing this one and then a few months later, you’ll be kissing the next one.😛

On the cheek, different.
 
TrueLight said:
I agree, but do you think it is appropriate for two people who are dating?
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Did they just meet? How long have they been dating? My nephew is engaged and kisses his fiance quite chastely at the sign of peace. I see nothing wrong with that.

Are we going to have people fill out questionaires, with flow charts? “Have you been dating for A) six months to a year? B) three to six months? C) Two weeks to three months? D) We hooked up in the narthex.” If your answer was A, you may plant a dry smooch on your beloved’s lips. If your answer was B, cheeks only. If your answer was C) hugs only. If your answer was D, kindly leave now."

😃
 
JKirkLVNV said:
Did they just meet? How long have they been dating? My nephew is engaged and kisses his fiance quite chastely at the sign of peace. I see nothing wrong with that.

Are we going to have people fill out questionaires, with flow charts? “Have you been dating for A) six months to a year? B) three to six months? C) Two weeks to three months? D) We hooked up in the narthex.” If your answer was A, you may plant a dry smooch on your beloved’s lips. If your answer was B, cheeks only. If your answer was C) hugs only. If your answer was D, kindly leave now."

😃
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Clever.:rolleyes:

How about just no kissing on the lips at mass if you’re not married? Better yet, not at all.
 
JKirkLVNV said:
Did they just meet? How long have they been dating? My nephew is engaged and kisses his fiance quite chastely at the sign of peace. I see nothing wrong with that.

Are we going to have people fill out questionaires, with flow charts? “Have you been dating for A) six months to a year? B) three to six months? C) Two weeks to three months? D) We hooked up in the narthex.” If your answer was A, you may plant a dry smooch on your beloved’s lips. If your answer was B, cheeks only. If your answer was C) hugs only. If your answer was D, kindly leave now."

😃
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That’s why limiting it to a handshake for everyone you share the sign of peace with is the best policy.
 
TrueLight said:
It must be me, but I think a kiss on the lips is intimate. And I think if you are dating, it’s not appropriate for mass. So one week, you’ll be kissing this one and then a few months later, you’ll be kissing the next one.😛

On the cheek, different.
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It might just be not what you’re comfortable with. I’ve been friends with an older couple before I met my husband and they’ve always kissed me on the lips, or anybody they consider a close friend, and I’ve never thought it was inappropriate at all.

And to me, if you’re going to mass with the person you are dating, its getting pretty serious and more than likely you’re headed towards marriage. My then boyfriend and now husband and I probably would have upset you if we sat near you at mass. We have always been affectionate with each other, in mass or outside of mass. It just seemed more than appropriate to kiss in front of Jesus in the Eucharist than not to. We never have made a big scene about it, just a quick peck on the lips at the sign of peace.

I really think there is much more to be worried about than if its appropriate or not for two people dating to kiss at mass or not. I like to see people in love and coming to mass together. Makes me smile.
 
Allegra said:
Just as long as your disdain for “peace inequality” doesn’t extend to me, we’re cool. I guess if it really bothers you, I can kiss you too.
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I never said “disdain”. I personally don’t do it. I never said you should do differently. Sheesh.
 
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