Kiss between boyfriend/girlfriend during the Sign of Peace

[passus]

Really who knows they may be engaged to get married if so I see nothing wrong with their kiss of peace.there are much worse things that could happen during that time.

I don’t think kissing on the lips is appropriate in church and, for all intents and purposes, I’d assume that the OP is correct in that these two are not married or engaged, but involved in a romantic relationship.

For those of us who went to Catholic school: If you couldn’t do it in the hallway with a nun watching, then you certainly can’t do it at Mass.

Remember, this isn’t a time for a display of affection. It’s a gesture of peace.

 

[Ana_v]

Remember, this isn’t a time for a display of affection. It’s a gesture of peace.

I think that’s a good way to encapsulate the point. I also like the point made by some commenters, referring to keeping our gestures consistent. Not singling out that special someone, since in the context of the faith, we are all a family.

 

[PatriceA]

I think that’s a good way to encapsulate the point. I also like the point made by some commenters, referring to keeping our gestures consistent. Not singling out that special someone, since in the context of the faith, we are all a family.

So basically you were only looking for opinions that supported the view you already had in mind when you posted your OP. You weren’t open to hearing other opinions? I don’t think there is a right or wrong in this situation. Its if you are or aren’t comfortable with the way people express themselves during the “sign of peace” that is the issue and that for the time being, is subjective.

 

[PatriceA]

The Sign of Peace is, first, optional. It need not be included in every Mass. And second, it is a liturgical fraternal sign of our peace with one another, reflecting our unity in Christ. It was never intended as a personal gesture of affection, either among young lovers or older couples. One should offer the same sign to everyone, regardless of relationship.

So I can kiss you then?

 

[Faithdancer]

Did they even shake hands in the first century? I know they used to greet with kisses, a custom which has stayed with the French and Italians, at least (kiss-kiss). But that has now become a little peck on each cheek, not a full on the lips kiss. This report shows that contagion is more likely to result from shaking hands: desinfect.ch/media-reports-16.htm?do=download&fileID=8

 

[PiousTemplar]

It’s interesting to see people try to justify kissing during the Sign of Peace with very early Christian tradition. Yes, early Christians could quite likely pecked each other on the cheeks, as it was part of the cultural norm. However today, kissing has a quite different meaning. Back then a kiss on the cheek to a stranger could mean a simple greeting, yet if we tried that today people would just consider us ‘weird’ and would most likely feel their personal space violated. Pecking your friend, relative, etc. at the Sign of Peace today has a different intention than what the earlier Christians had. I think I can compare it to liturgical dancing; it is considered a severe abuse by Churches in the western world, but in places such as Africa and Asia, the intention is completely different, as their culture includes similar dancing as a significant symbol of deep reverence.

I would like to share a few exerpts from articles concerning Pope Benedict XVI’s position on the Sign of Peace:

Pope Benedict said the sign of peace at Mass “has great value,” especially in demonstrating the church’s responsibility to pray for peace and unity in a world too often troubled by division, violence and hatred.

While Catholics at Mass should exchange a sign of peace with those near them, he also called for “greater restraint” to ensure the moment does not become one of irreparable distraction.

The pope said, “I have asked the competent curial offices to study the possibility of moving the sign of peace to another place (in the Mass), such as before the presentation of the gifts at the altar. To do so would also serve as a significant reminder of the Lord’s insistence that we be reconciled with others before presenting our gifts to God.”

• www.americancatholic.org/features/benedictxvi/pope-eucharist.asp

Arinze, who heads the Vatican body in charge of liturgy and sacraments, made the announcement in the Saturday (Nov. 22) edition of the Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano.

“The meaning of this gesture is often not fully understood,” Arinze told an interviewer. “It is thought to be a chance to shake hands with friends. Instead it is a way to tell those nearby that the peace of Christ, really present on the altar, is also with all men.”

Pope Benedict has more than once expressed concern about the disruptive potential of the sign of peace when performed in an inappropriate fashion.

In a 2007 document, he called for “greater restraint in this gesture which can become exaggerated and cause a certain distraction in the assembly before the reception of Communion.”

• www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2008-11-24-peace-catholic_N.htm

We can see from this that the Sign of Peace is about “telling those nearby that the peace of Christ, really present on the altar, is also with all men.” In my opinion it is our mission to evangelize the Peace of Christ, and I don’t quite think whispering 'Peace with ya darl, kiss ', wife or not, is very clear on this meaning, it doesn’t fulfill it as well as shaking a hand and proclaiming ‘The peace of Christ be with you always’.

God Bless,
PiousTemplar

 

[JimG]

So I can kiss you then?

I would never be so rude as to turn down a kiss. But, of course, you would have to offer the same gesture to others!

 

[Allegra]

I would never be so rude as to turn down a kiss. But, of course, you would have to offer the same gesture to others!

So, we’re agreed now. Everybody has to kiss everybody else.

 

[jwinch2]

My understanding of the Sign of Peace was that it was originally a kiss regardless of the relationship between persons. If you read the writings of Saint Paul he repeatedly states that people are to “great each other with a holy kiss”. Frankly, I agree with the above statement that people need to let go on some of this stuff. If you go to Mass in Brazil it is kisses and hugs all around and the sign of peace takes forever with people going all over the parish to greet each other. Two people who care for one another giving a quick kiss and/or hug during the sign of peace ought to be celebrated in my view, not questioned.

 

[JimG]

So, we’re agreed now. Everybody has to kiss everybody else.

For consistency’s sake, sure. Of course, this may be the surest way to kill the sign of peace.

 

[benedictgal]

My understanding of the Sign of Peace was that it was originally a kiss regardless of the relationship between persons. If you read the writings of Saint Paul he repeatedly states that people are to “great each other with a holy kiss”. Frankly, I agree with the above statement that people need to let go on some of this stuff. If you go to Mass in Brazil it is kisses and hugs all around and the sign of peace takes forever with people going all over the parish to greet each other. Two people who care for one another giving a quick kiss and/or hug during the sign of peace ought to be celebrated in my view, not questioned.

That is why the GIRM states that it should be exchanged in a sober manner. Pope Benedict also wrote this in Sacramentum Caritatis:

The sign of peace

1. By its nature the Eucharist is the sacrament of peace. At Mass this dimension of the eucharistic mystery finds specific expression in the sign of peace. Certainly this sign has great value (cf. Jn 14:27). In our times, fraught with fear and conflict, this gesture has become particularly eloquent, as the Church has become increasingly conscious of her responsibility to pray insistently for the gift of peace and unity for herself and for the whole human family. Certainly there is an irrepressible desire for peace present in every heart. The Church gives voice to the hope for peace and reconciliation rising up from every man and woman of good will, directing it towards the one who “is our peace” (Eph 2:14) and who can bring peace to individuals and peoples when all human efforts fail. We can thus understand the emotion so often felt during the sign of peace at a liturgical celebration. Even so, during the Synod of Bishops there was discussion about the appropriateness of greater restraint in this gesture, which can be exaggerated and cause a certain distraction in the assembly just before the reception of Communion. It should be kept in mind that nothing is lost when the sign of peace is marked by a sobriety which preserves the proper spirit of the celebration, as, for example, when it is restricted to one’s immediate neighbor s (150).

As I noted in my initial response to this thread, we all come from the one body of Adam and, as the Church, we have a familial relationship with one another, beyond the bonds of blood relations.

 

[happymommy]

For consistency’s sake, sure. Of course, this may be the surest way to kill the sign of peace.

Heck, it’s all you can do to get some people to look at you during the sign of peace! I don’t care if they shake my hand or not, but could they at least smile or nod! It would be the kiss of death for the sign of peace!

 

[jwinch2]

That is why the GIRM states that it should be exchanged in a sober manner. Pope Benedict also wrote this in Sacramentum Caritatis:

I know.

I am not defending what is done in Brazil, merely commenting that it exists and to draw a distinction between what is really a distraction during the sign of peace and what is not.

 

[Ana_v]

So basically you were only looking for opinions that supported the view you already had in mind when you posted your OP. You weren’t open to hearing other opinions?

If I wasn’t open, I wouldn’t have even posted the topic. I wanted to know if it was permissible – which is an objective question – (whose answer may very well be a “yes”, since it appears nothing official explicitly prohibits it, and in fact, it may be implicitly permitted, given the statement some have quoted, about the particulars of the Sign of Peace being encultured.)

I also wanted to know if it was appropriate – which is a subjective question – ( the wide answer on this thread being “yes”).

Notwithstanding that I like people sharing their difference of views, I still appreciate both passus’ point and the comments about consistency, as I think there is merit to them, if nothing else, in a broad sense.

 

[thequeen]

I don’t think kissing on the lips is appropriate in church and, for all intents and purposes, I’d assume that the OP is correct in that these two are not married or engaged, but involved in a romantic relationship.

For those of us who went to Catholic school: If you couldn’t do it in the hallway with a nun watching, then you certainly can’t do it at Mass.

Remember, this isn’t a time for a display of affection. It’s a gesture of peace.

Well I did not go to Catholic School I am a convert but let me tell you I know my faith alot better than most cradle Catholics and we are talking about adults and it said a kiss it didnt say they were making out I don’t know the couple but if they are engaged to get married I hope they are still kissing each other at the sign of peace when they are in their 90s in fact there is a couple in my parish they are getting married i believe in September and they always exchange the sign of peace with a kiss between them The young mans parents do the same thing he said that was where he got the idea

 

[windynight]

---

My husband and I kissed at the sign of peace from the moment we attended our very first mass together when we were dating. Still do.

same here…always

 

[Davina100]

I think that we need to remember that we are offering each other a sign of Christ’s peace.

I think that if we are all worried about how or what people are doing then we are kind of missing the point.

It should be respectful and not cause a huge distraction that takes people for ever to get settled back down again.

The one thing I do think is totally inappropriate, far worse than kisses or handhsakes. Someone gives a hand shake or some sign of peace and as the say “peace be with you” they add some quick conversation, “did you get my phone message?” or something completely out of context of the mass.

It is not the 7th inning stretch.

 

[Veridical16]

Soooo… how do you feel about PDAs by older couples? Just saying, I hope when I’m 80 years old I’m still holding my husband’s hand, massaging his back, kissing him at the sign of peace, at mass.

Patrice, I think when you reach a certain age, you get a green light.



I’m sorry if my post was a bit of a ventilation. It is a subjective topic I know; but what I was describing with the young couple I’m pretty sure, IF YOU WERE THERE most people would agree with me. There are distinctions between genuine affections, and people who obviously are being haphazard and casual when they bring an attitude as if they are at a BALL GAME! It is one of those cases "okay, somebody needs to draw the line "

PDA’s by young couples are especially are so offensive to me, so haphazard and casual, no reverence and no contemplation where the individuals and God meet. It’s more like treating Sunday, this is the day I put my Catholic Hat on. One young couple I saw in the pew, they were massaging the other’s back, the girl having her hand along his undershirt mind you during the homily. As if they were attending a show. There is a distinction of THAT casualness, and flip side of the gathering of a Mother, nuzzling her toddler lovingly, or a husband and wife endeared to witness the Mass.

You would probably qualify under that last line, Patrice.

I have no problem when Church Parishioners hug or embrace , grandmothers or elderly, or the very little babies, or their spouses, or their loved ones, coming to and from the Mass. But during the reverent portions, and READINGS of the Mass, I would think younger people wouldn’t just be looking around as if they’re observing some casual event or just there to hear the priest talk as if this was some PROTESTANT GATHERING.

My main point is, lots of people are forgetting that angels and the Communion of Saints are present too during the Holy Sacrifice.
To see a young man in a wife beater undershirt, and his girlfriend have PDA attending the Mass like any other social gathering/or in a theatre watching a movie certainly is NOT vertically oriented. They’re not even married! Nevermind, we are talking about the Mass. I stand by my PDA comments on young people.

But all in all, this is a subjective topic. There are times when I might have been a little more cheerful, and someone might not see me as being reverent, when I was.

I think as long as we come to the Mass with our hearts oriented properly, and in a “let the little Children come to me” fashion, it’ll eliminate any of this horizontal irreverence that occurs from too much focus on the SOCIAL part of the Mass.

 

[Veridical16]

I think that we need to remember that we are offering each other a sign of Christ’s peace.

I think that if we are all worried about how or what people are doing then we are kind of missing the point.

It should be respectful and not cause a huge distraction that takes people for ever to get settled back down again.

The one thing I do think is totally inappropriate, far worse than kisses or handhsakes. Someone gives a hand shake or some sign of peace and as the say “peace be with you” they add some quick conversation, “did you get my phone message?” or something completely out of context of the mass.

It is not the 7th inning stretch.

Thank you, 7th Inning Stretch is a good way of putting it. That’s the pulse I get from some parishes I’ve attended both during college and when visiting relatives, and one of the larger parishes in my town, where things at times get a little too social, and people are becoming super-casual.
I don’t think things Need to settle back down, especially when reaching the time when one has to meditate on the Lord’s Passion and when we’re approaching Calvary.

 

[Deckie]

This sign of peace is a load of rubbish.We are in Gods house praying to Him,so what is the need? After the sign,we then proceed to Communion to hold the Body of Christ in the hand that has been gripped by 5 or 6 people,ingesting countless unneccessary germs along with the Host.I refuse to take part on the grounds that it is a break in concentration prior to the most important part of my week