Kiss between boyfriend/girlfriend during the Sign of Peace

[nicolep]

So what happens when you catch the eye of a person that is two pews ahead or behind you? Do you lunge across the pew to make sure you can shake their hand just to be fair? Or do you just stoically nod at everyone near by just in case you have to nod at someone beyond handshake range?

If you can agree that location of the person may change the “sign of peace” why not the relationship and the closeness of the person?

Y’all are ridiculous. Quit making it something other than I said. I said exactly what I do. I never said you had to change.

 

[Allegra]

It must be me, but I think a kiss on the lips is intimate. .

You must be some kisser! I think some people are just more demonstative with their affections. It’s not abnormal for me to kiss family, so kissing my fiance in a “churchy” way doesn’t even phase me. I don’t date a new fellow every other week and never have, so I can’t speak to that.

 

[TrueLight]

You must be some kisser! I think some people are just more demonstative with their affections. It’s not abnormal for me to kiss family, so kissing my fiance in a “churchy” way doesn’t even phase me. I don’t date a new fellow every other week and never have, so I can’t speak to that.

Well, when you’re not allowed to do much, you do what you can with what you have. Ha ha.

Anyway, I’m done with this topic. Looks like only a few of us are not comfy with it. And the poor horse is dead.

 

[benedictgal]

My father and I shake hands during the sign of peace. I believe that this is not the time for famiilal displays of affection. This is not about being cold and unfeeling. Please note what the GIRM states:

It is, however, appropriate that each person offer the sign of peace only to those who are nearest and in a sober manner.

The earthly liturgy is supposed to give us a foretaste of the heavenly one. In heaven, we will all be one family. While our earthly relationships are certainly important, we should look at things from a more universal, dare I say, Catholic, perspective. All of us come from the one body of Adam and, thus, we are all kindred.

 

[JKirkLVNV]

That’s why limiting it to a handshake for everyone you share the sign of peace with is the best policy.

That’s one opinion. I would find it odd and cold among family members.

I suggest that, in this area as with so many others, we all simply mind our own business.

 

[Jim_Roberts]

Yesterday at Mass I participated in the Youth Choir, and, during the Sign of Peace, out of my peripheral vision I saw two members (in their early twenties) of the Youth Choir, that are in a relationship, accompany the Sign of Peace with a kiss (that I’m pretty sure was on the lips). It seemed quick, and I doubt it caused any distraction (the parishioners in the pews are not focused ahead – they’re moving and looking to their sides – which is where the choir seats/stands, facing the pews during Mass, the exception being of course, during the Sign of Peace). Nevertheless, is this permissible/appropriate?

---

I do not think the sign of peace means kissing on another. I see it man times and just ignore it. Some people will not give the sign of because of germs.

 

[JKirkLVNV]

My father and I shake hands during the sign of peace. I believe that this is not the time for familal displays of affection. Please note what the GIRM states:

The earthly liturgy is supposed to give us a foretaste of the heavenly one. In heaven, we will all be one family. While our earthly relationships are certainly important, we should look at things from a more universal, dare I say, Catholic, perspective. All of us come from the one body of Adam and, thus, we are all kindred.

A kiss is not ipso facto lacking in sobriety.

 

[NewEnglandPriest]

A kiss is not ipso facto lacking in sobriety.

Ah but many a kiss has begun without it…

I don’t see the problem with a quick kiss. As others have pointed out, in some cultures that’s what most Catholic families do.

 

[MissRose73]

When I attend Mass with my family, each person is different with the sign of peace.

Normally, I prefer the handshake with most family members with the exception of my aunt who prefers a slight hug and kiss on cheek given to her family members sitting near her. I will give a slight hug and say “Peace” to my sister’s kids.

 

[Allegra]

That’s one opinion. I would find it odd and cold among family members.

I suggest that, in this area as with so many others, we all simply mind our own business.

Are you trying to suggest that we should not spend Mass critiqueing what other people wear, say, and do? What else are we supposed to do for an hour and a half? Pray?

 

[JKirkLVNV]

Are you trying to suggest that we should not spend Mass critiqueing what other people wear, say, and do? What else are we supposed to do for an hour and a half? Pray?

I’m starting to wonder how people manage it without a notepad and pen.

 

[Veridical16]

PDA’s don’t belong at Mass. Only five years ago, when I attended the Newman Centers at my University. For instance, there is something seriously off with the Youth Masses Community Moments, and especially the way 'active young Catholics participate. I went to Catholic High School , and the ones who were more ‘religious’ there is some weird sub-culture that goes along with it. *( I could never get on board with those peers, even though as a teenager I privately was very thirsty for the Faith.) *It all seemed a bit like some vanity routine to me. The pulse Igot on my peers were that many of the young active Catholics are just pleased to be SEEN at some social gathering with all the sing-along, and happy gladhanding, and their display of PIETY for Jesus, rather than an actual mass. I’m sure some had deep faith, but you often wonder how good the more showy youth were at defending their faith when they left to College.

PDA’s by young couples are especially are so offensive to me, so haphazard and casual, no reverence and no contemplation where the individuals and God meet. It’s more like treating Sunday, this is the day I put my Catholic Hat on. One young couple I saw in the pew, they were massaging the other’s back, the girl having her hand along his undershirt mind you during the homily. As if they were attending a show. There is a distinction of THAT casualness, and flip side of the gathering of a Mother, nuzzling her toddler lovingly, or a husband and wife endeared to witness the Mass.

Nevetheless, Pope Benedict has said that people are thinking too much horizontally at the mass, rather than vertically. That PDA happens and now this abuse of the Sign of Peace, etc. is evidence of this mentality.

I’d rather a gesture be reduced from the handshakes. While it is nice to show peace to each other. Even with my family, I’d rather just do a quick one & done, I’m not really thinking about them even though I can’t help but hug my mom.
When I was younger, when I was brought up in this habit of getting ready for the Sign of Peace, sometimes you resent people for giving you a cold look. Really, it is a distraction that interrupts the flow of what is going on prayerfully.

I hope we just return to some simple nod or brief peace signs or something; none of this traveling across pews to shake every single person’s hand for fear of not being ‘welcoming’ enough or ignoring neighbor!

I also am not sure St. Justin Martyr’s day with the sign of peace is the same culturally as it was handled back then.

P.S.

Oh yeah, I also feel awkward after I shake a person’s hand, when I bust out the hand sanitizer right in front of them! LOL

 

[thequeen]

I would say it’s neither appropriate nor permissible. But don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.

Really who knows they may be engaged to get married if so I see nothing wrong with their kiss of peace.there are much worse things that could happen during that time.

 

[TrueLight]

Really who knows they may be engaged to get married if so I see nothing wrong with their kiss of peace.there are much worse things that could happen during that time.

Like?

 

[Allegra]

Like?

A person who shakes hands with someone reluctantly and ingenuinly and then immediatly goes for the hand sanitizer?

 

[TrueLight]

A person who shakes hands with someone reluctantly and ingenuinly and then immediatly goes for the hand sanitizer?

Ha ha.

 

[silicasandra]

Ha ha.

Now that I have a kid, I do pull out the hand sanitizer. I hope people don’t find me rude, but I don’t want to put germy hands on my baby if I can help it. I’d rather shake hands, which feels natural to me, and then put on the sanitizer, rather than weirdly avoid everyone. Plus, by that point in the Mass I’ve handled several books, touched the pews, door handles, etc.

(I’ve also seen adults sneeze into their hands and then shake hands with other people. Yucky yuck yuck. shudder The worst was when I saw an EMHC do it before Communion and he didn’t wash his hands. I found another line that day.)

 

[TheMc]

And all of this could be avoided if the priest made use of the little known clause that makes the sign of peace optional.

 

[PatriceA]

PDA’s don’t belong at Mass. Only five years ago, when I attended the Newman Centers at my University. For instance, there is something seriously off with the Youth Masses Community Moments, and especially the way 'active young Catholics participate. I went to Catholic High School , and the ones who were more ‘religious’ there is some weird sub-culture that goes along with it. *( I could never get on board with those peers, even though as a teenager I privately was very thirsty for the Faith.) *It all seemed a bit like some vanity routine to me. The pulse Igot on my peers were that many of the young active Catholics are just pleased to be SEEN at some social gathering with all the sing-along, and happy gladhanding, and their display of PIETY for Jesus, rather than an actual mass. I’m sure some had deep faith, but you often wonder how good the more showy youth were at defending their faith when they left to College.

PDA’s by young couples are especially are so offensive to me, so haphazard and casual, no reverence and no contemplation where the individuals and God meet. It’s more like treating Sunday, this is the day I put my Catholic Hat on. One young couple I saw in the pew, they were massaging the other’s back, the girl having her hand along his undershirt mind you during the homily. As if they were attending a show. There is a distinction of THAT casualness, and flip side of the gathering of a Mother, nuzzling her toddler lovingly, or a husband and wife endeared to witness the Mass.

Nevetheless, Pope Benedict has said that people are thinking too much horizontally at the mass, rather than vertically. That PDA happens and now this abuse of the Sign of Peace, etc. is evidence of this mentality.

I’d rather a gesture be reduced from the handshakes. While it is nice to show peace to each other. Even with my family, I’d rather just do a quick one & done, I’m not really thinking about them even though I can’t help but hug my mom.
When I was younger, when I was brought up in this habit of getting ready for the Sign of Peace, sometimes you resent people for giving you a cold look. Really, it is a distraction that interrupts the flow of what is going on prayerfully.

I hope we just return to some simple nod or brief peace signs or something; none of this traveling across pews to shake every single person’s hand for fear of not being ‘welcoming’ enough or ignoring neighbor!

I also am not sure St. Justin Martyr’s day with the sign of peace is the same culturally as it was handled back then.

P.S.

Oh yeah, I also feel awkward after I shake a person’s hand, when I bust out the hand sanitizer right in front of them! LOL

Soooo… how do you feel about PDAs by older couples? Just saying, I hope when I’m 80 years old I’m still holding my husband’s hand, massaging his back, kissing him at the sign of peace, at mass.

 

[JimG]

Soooo… how do you feel about PDAs by older couples? Just saying, I hope when I’m 80 years old I’m still holding my husband’s hand, massaging his back, kissing him at the sign of peace, at mass.

The Sign of Peace is, first, optional. It need not be included in every Mass. And second, it is a liturgical fraternal sign of our peace with one another, reflecting our unity in Christ. It was never intended as a personal gesture of affection, either among young lovers or older couples. One should offer the same sign to everyone, regardless of relationship.