Jan,
God chases man…calls man…man responds…this is the paradigm of belief in any notion of God…that response has taken various forms as seen in the OT…While the Church is the means by which all are saved through Baptism it does not negate the calling of all men and the response of all men…The true Church recognizes Baptism of Desire because all men…circumcized of the heart may be baptized of the heart and even absent the formal sacrament are children of God…as He sees fit…see here…
catholicapologetics.info/modernproblems/currenterrors/bapdesire.htm
Believing that God has the ability to save those he wishes to save as he chooses to save including those that are aware of who Christ is and who recognize and recieve the trinitarin Baptism of water is recognizing the soveriegnty of God…so while you may believe that you must baptize the dead, this is nonsense, and in fact if you are baptizing them absent the trinitarian formula then all you are doing is humoring yourself.
Have you been baptized in the trinitarian formula?