Are you talking about equivocations/amphibologies? For example, when someone in the checkout line asks “How are you today?” are they asking how you are physically, spirtitually, or are they just wondering if you found what items you were looking for? Since there are several different interpratations you pick what you think they are most likely inquiring about.
I agree with OrionHunter… when your spouse asks “Does my butt look big in these pants ?” … :bigyikes:
There’s a difference between “You need to exercise” and “That particular outfit is unflatering, but I really like this other dress.”
Also, no man should have to fear having his head handed back to him on a platter or any other negative/angry response from his wife if he responds to her questions with honesty, charity and compassion.
This priest told me this about two years ago and the more I think about it I believe that may be what he meant. When he said it I was shocked and I guess I had an expression on my face that showed I was suprised at what he said. He immediately stopped what he was saying and said, “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to say that someone should live a lie”. I still was surprised at what he said and was a bit upset to say anything back. But in my mind I said to myself, “How could you say that because a lie is a lie.” But now that it was pointed out here he might have meant that it shouldn’t be brought up voluntarily. While still not the best answer because I believe by not bringing it up you would be deceiving your spouse into thinking you are someone you really are not. I think the spouse should be told and both spouses should trust in God’s grace to bring them through the difficult times that will probably follow once it’s out in the open. However, I also understand that some spouses would rather not know so I could also see the side of the people who suggest that it not be brought up unless asked.
I agree completely. There is no such thing as a “minor” affair. An affair is an affair whether or not it was a one-time thing, strickly emotional, or full-blown (emotional and physical). Too many people try to blurr the lines and think that there are such things as “minor” affairs.
Great point. Don’t ask unless you can accept any answer. I think alot of times people ask questions merely to receive a pat on the back. They don’t expect a negative answer. For example, “How’s my cooking?” Does anyone actually expect the person being asked to say, “It’s terrible.”?
And whether it’s true or not, answering “your cooking is great, thank you” is a perfectly acceptable way to show gratitude for an effort made out of love.
Another good point. I would tend to believe most people who lie about serious matters like adultery lie because of the fear that should they reveal the truth it would bring pain and suffering to their marriage. If they trusted completely in God they would know that they should not be fearful because God would provide all the graces necessary to get through the rough times that likely will follow.
When the sin of adultery is absolved and the person goes forth and sins no more is that person still an adulterer?
Prudence may be the best guide. For example, say a mother doesn’t want her children to play baseball in the house. When the mother is on a trip, the children go ahead anyway and end up breaking a vase. They confess their sins to their father and he buys a new vase and takes a little out of their allowance each week to pay for it. When the mother comes home, would it be prudent of the father to mention the broken vase or just let it go? Would knowing that her children broke the vase in any way help the mother or only cause her more stress?
Wouldn’t this be a sin pride/vanity? When cooking something for someone, shouldn’t you be cooking for the good of the people you are serving, not merely cooking to showcase your culinery skills?
However, it’s a lie and a lie is never acceptable. One could say they like the cooking even though they don’t like it that much and not be lying. I’ve said I’ve liked people’s cooking when asked even though it wasn’t something that was that great. It wasn’t something I would prefer to eat again but I liked it enough to continue eating it. If they ask something more specific like, “Is my cooking as good as your mother’s?” or something like that it becomes harder to answer without lying because the question is more specific. “How’s my cooking?” is a very vague question that could be answered easily without lying.
Honesty doesn’t require using a sledgehammer to apply it. You could even say something like,
Mathew 19, in my mind, you are not telling the truth if you say something (while technically true as in “I like your cooking” because you like it more than if you had to eat dog ****) when you know the person on the other end will reach an inference that is not the same as your intent. It is still a deception. While I admit that I am guilty of these semantic games too, we should decieve ourselves that it isn’t an untruth.
No they no longer an adulterer if they confessed their sins and repented. However, in pre-cana we are told to be open about our past to our future spouse. They need to know and deserve to know who they are marrying without anything hidden. A person’s past is very important because it does influence their future. For example, if someone had a promiscous past they are more prone or likely to become unfaithful later. It doesn’t mean that they will, just more likely. To hide that from a future spouse is being selfish. That same principle carries on into marriage. The two become one and what ever one of the spouses does it shouldn’t be held back or hidden from the other. Marriage involves complete and total openess between the spouses. Hiding an adulteress incident that happened within the marriage not being open.
That’s deception. They are hiding from their mother the fact that they disobeyed her. They need to confess to her, the person whom they disobeyed. Their father was not the one that told them not to play ball in the house. Besides the father’s act of buying a new vase and not telling their mother shows the children that there are ways to cover things up when you do something wrong.
Sorry, I don’t agree. That is totally against the teachings of the Church. It’s a lie, deceitful, and selfish. On top of that it shows a lack in trust in God that God through His graces can always make things work out if we are open to His graces.
The adulterer would be confessing their sin to their spouse to be open, honest, and true to them. To ask the spouse to forgive them for sinning against him/her and their marriage.
Yes, I believe that could be a sin of pride/vanity.
I guess what I meant was that you like it enough that you could eat it. Not that you like it because it’s better than something that you don’t like. For example, let’s say someone made spaghetti and they ask you if it’s good. Having had spaghetti before that was better you could say yes you like it and still not be lying even though it’s not “that” good or “as” good as what you’ve had in the past. It’s still good (enough that you’d eat it) and all they asked was whether or not it was good. I didn’t mean to imply that you could say it’s “good” because it’s better than eating “dog”. That would be lying.
Of course not, because that is not what she asked. Usually the woman wants to know if this particular outfit overemphasizes her rear compared to other outfits she could choose. She most certainly is not asking if you think she is fat and lazy or has been a slacker all her life. Typical responses include: