Many negative comments about my Wedding Mass

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kaymart:
I would love to hear him on a Sunday Homily. It’s was your wedding and your right, but “I” still would never make anyone feel uncomfortable on what should be a Joyous Day. And believe me a lot of sinners attended my Wedding. (and they were mostly family) Who am I to judge? They have to make peace with the Lord. What you do to your family and friends is your business.
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I just wonder if that’s even possible?

Chances are, no matter what the readings and homily were about, they were going to make someone feel bad about something.

Why not go all the way and show people what marriage is really about? I agree with the OP about defending and standing up for marriage in an age where it is under heavy attack.

I’m sure that many Catholics and non-Catholics alike were surprised by the homily. But, from evidence already provided, there has been some great results so far.

If they had strived to keep everything lovey and fuzzy, would any of the non-Catholics even be considering conversion? Maybe, but probably for the wrong reasons.

I just have a feeling that there were many Catholics who attended this wedding (and who may not see the inside of a Church until Christmas) that needed to hear this.

It is great if the homilies are like this every Sunday…but that doesn’t help if these people aren’t there to hear them.

just my thoughts…Malia
 
I can certainly understand why people would be upset with this priest. This was, after all, a wedding. At a wedding, you are supposed to be celebrating the marriage of the bride and groom. The priest’s tirade was simply unacceptable in that particular setting. If you were celebrating someone’s birthday, wouldn’t you normally sing Happy Birthday and clap? Would you take the opportunity to tell everyone that they were sinners and that they would go to hell if they didn’t shape up? What did Jesus do when He went to the wedding at Cana? Did he yell at them and tell them what sinners they were. No! He simply changed the water into wine.

Back in the 1960’s, even after Vatican II had changed everything, we had a priest in our parish who would preach something like that. Actually, he would be speaking very quietly about something entirely different. Then, his face would turn so bright red that it was almost purple, and he would shout, “AND THAT GOES FOR THOSE WHO USE ARTIFICAL BIRTH CONTROL!!!”

I was much younger then, and sometimes it would almost make me start laughing in church. As a person who grew up in the 1950’s, I have had my share of that type of preaching. As I grow older, I realize that I really do prefer a kinder, gentler style.
 
Congratulations on your marriage! May God bless you with many years together of growing closer to each other and to Him!

This situation reminds me of something I heard awhile back, though I don’t remember who the source was:

God came to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable.

Sounds like He was trying to afflict a few of the comfortable at your wedding Mass!
 
Feanaro's Wife:
I just wonder if that’s even possible?

Chances are, no matter what the readings and homily were about, they were going to make someone feel bad about something.

Why not go all the way and show people what marriage is really about? I agree with the OP about defending and standing up for marriage in an age where it is under heavy attack.

I’m sure that many Catholics and non-Catholics alike were surprised by the homily. But, from evidence already provided, there has been some great results so far.

If they had strived to keep everything lovey and fuzzy, would any of the non-Catholics even be considering conversion? Maybe, but probably for the wrong reasons.

I just have a feeling that there were many Catholics who attended this wedding (and who may not see the inside of a Church until Christmas) that needed to hear this.

It is great if the homilies are like this every Sunday…but that doesn’t help if these people aren’t there to hear them.

just my thoughts…Malia
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SPOT ON.

This was a perfect opportunity to provide a Spiritual Work of Mercy by instructing the ignorant.

The reception is for the celebration of the marriage.

The ceremony is the bonding of these two people, the Church and God, and should be done in a way which gives the most meaning to the couple presenting themselves to each other, to the Church and to God. Those in attendence are witnesses to this ceremony- and should not speak of their dislikes- how inconsiderate.

I’m sure they told the bride how she should have chosen a different dress or type of cake, or that they should have had the chicken rather than the veal at the reception too…

Shame on them :tsktsk:

And my applause and congratulations to the OP and his lovely bride. :clapping:
 
Wow! Where did you get this priest? Keep him at all costs! Is there a waiting list to get him over to other parishes? You are blessed, my friend!

Unfortunaltely, people do not like to hear the truth if it hits too close to home. I suspect that the people who complained are the ones who felt they were doing things against the teachings of the Church. This happens regularly in my parish. We have a very holy priest who gets attacked every time he opens his mouth about sin and Catholic doctrine.

Call it a wake up call to those who complained. They should examine their consciences to see why they were so offended.

God bless your priest!
 
Same thing happened at my daughter’s Baptism. It was a High Episcopal Church, and a personal friend – the local Catholic Pastor, a Monsignor of great intellect and personal charisma – preached the homily. Had the unmitigated gall to talk about death and Original Sin. The nerve!

He scandalized all the casual guests, but the High Church Episcopalians were giving him high-fives after Mass!

He whomped the pulpit a couple of times too.
 
James_2:24:
You assume way too much about me, my friend. You assume that our intentions (my fiance, myself and the Priest) were to USE a wedding in order to INSULT people.

I am sorry if the truth insults people, but it does. No one was singled out. What was preached against was fornication, adultery, pornography, and not an individual person. If there is any place for this to happen it is in this day and age in which marriage is under attack. What was preached was a defense of marriage and a condemnation of the culture which holds no respect for Catholic Christian marriage.

If someone feels insulted for us condemning these practices, i’m sorry, but they are STILL wrong.

I’ll have you know that it was mostly the non-Catholics who were impressed… Including one who is in contact with me now and inquiring about his possible conversion. Also, a 13 year old left sad that his parish isn’t more like Fathers… it lead him to confession. There was also a Catholic Answers apologist at the wedding whose name I will not repeat, but he is a friend of mine, he was impressed with Father’s “toughness” and “courage”.

So as you see it was not all bad, but the amount of bad comments did bother me.

p.s. – I believe telling people the truth is far from mean.
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But truth told without love isn’t the whole truth nor is it loving. I have to agree with the poster who thinks the homily at your wedding was inappropriate for the occasion. Weddings are not the place to preach at people about all the faults and sins of our society. It is a wedding, not a revival meeting. What was your priest thinking? I’m sure he didn’t learn such tactics in the seminary. And, bringing up all those topics at a wedding was unwise because it won’t make you converts, but it will make your relations think you self righteous, without love, mercy, or good manners. I’m afraid this will backfire on you and your new wife quite nastily. I do wish you every happiness, however, and that you will learn to temper your overzealousness with a bit of wisdom and LOVE.
 
Congratulations on your marriage and your wonderful ceremony. When you were so involved with the planning it took a lot of nerve or guilt for them to complain. However, on the brigher side, I still remember my homily at my wedding mass. I think you did the right thing and the priest gave a fine homily. It is your friends that will have some food for thought for many a day.
 
Sounds like mission accomplished alright.

It’s awfully hard to hear tone in print, second hand! LOL.

I hope his tone was one in which he held out the VIRTUES of holy matrimony and the way in which a loving family is an image of God. Truth can be told in a firm, but positive hopeful and uplifting way, or it can be told in a ‘these dang kids these days are nogood brats going to he%% in a handbasket cause they don’t listen no more’ kind of way.

Given that there was SOME positive comment, I’ll assume it was the former.
 
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StratusRose:
Well. I’m going to have to go against the grain here. I’m sure I’ll get blasted, but it won’t be the first time.

If it were my wedding mass, I wouldn’t want my priest to chastise the congregation for the previous reasons. I would want him to preach on the beauty of marriage, the prospect of children, and what the future will hold if we stay true to each other and the church.

Don’t get me wrong, the things that he said, and the vigor he used to preach NEEDS to be done. I’ll be the first one to condone that…but not at a wedding mass. I know for a fact that I have many relatives who co-habitated, practice ABC, and fornicated before marriage, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to make them feel like they were the dirt under my feet just because I didn’t do those things. People don’t go to weddings for that reason.

Please forgive me for making assumptions, but the fact that you asked him to comment about fornication, birth-control, and so on seemed like you were gloating that you and your fiance did not use these practices. I just feel that that is not something to be rubbing in other people’s faces. Your reward will be in heaven.

I do not know your motivations. If I am making too many assumptions I apologize. I don’t mean to be a “troublemaker.” I just have a difference of opinion than everyone else, and I’m sure that I’ll pay the consequences for it. :o
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You are NOT a “troublemaker”…And, I agree with what you have said. While the priest did preach a wonderful homily, touching on some very important topics, I don’t think I wou ld have asked for that kind of sermon at my wedding …I would have wanted to hear about the beauty and sanctity of marriage, the joy of raising a Cathoilc family, etc…A wedding Mass is not the place for controversy and confrontation. It is supposed to be a time of joy and forward looking…In my opinion…which I am sure I will be basked for…This was too much negativism for a wedding.
 
Most importantly, congratulations on your marriage! It’s generally a lot of fun and, personally, I wouldn’t go back to being single.

Since you asked for thoughts, I don’t think you were out of line requesting certain topics to be covered in the homily. Perhaps another presentation method for those topics would have gone over better, since it’s a wedding and generally considered to be a celebration. Maybe the security and comfort of monogamy or the permanence of the bond or the beauty of the theology of the body could have been stressed. The priest could talk about welcoming every child into the world no matter the circumstances (preaching against abortion without using “no abortion” - leaving “thou shalt not this” and “thou shalt not that” for another time).

But what the heck, I’m sure it was a beautiful wedding and I’m sure you realized a few months ago that it’s impossible to please everyone at wedding time. If anyone says they were insulted, just tell the truth that you didn’t mean to insult them and change the topic - maybe they would like to see honeymoon photos? lol
 
Mnohaya l’ita!
(Many years)
On any given Sunday that homily would have been a great one. But not at your wedding. I think he has great points sure, but he shouldn’t have gone on his soapbox during your wedding.
 
I really don’t think its really appropriate for a priest to preach long and hard about hell and damnation to a random group of wedding attendees.

I would have been puzzled, although probably not really offended.

Most folks at weddings want to see how beautiful the bride is, and are more worried about how they will get from the church (where they have never been before) to the reception hall (also in a new location for them.) , than they are about damnation.
 
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Kielbasi:
Most folks at weddings want to see how beautiful the bride is, and are more worried about how they will get from the church (where they have never been before) to the reception hall (also in a new location for them.) , than they are about damnation.
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Exactly the point. They need to rearrange their priorities…they got some help doing just that.🙂

Malia
 
There is a time and a place for worrying about eternal damnation, but I question whether a friend’s wedding is the appropriate venue.

Looking at how pretty the bride is, smiling discrete “hellos” at people you haven’t seen in awhile, and wondering who you can follow to the recection hall is not completely out of place, although it’s far from the main point. Obsessing on these to the point of forgetting you are in a Church would be a bit much. I usually try to focus on praying for all married couples, especially the couple whose special day it is. And I pray that they are happy, stay close, have wonderful children, etc. - I don’t specifically pray for them to avoid fornication, adultery, etc. That kind of thinking makes me think about prenuptial agreements and other fun things.
 
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Della:
But truth told without love isn’t the whole truth nor is it loving. I have to agree with the poster who thinks the homily at your wedding was inappropriate for the occasion. Weddings are not the place to preach at people about all the faults and sins of our society. It is a wedding, not a revival meeting. What was your priest thinking? I’m sure he didn’t learn such tactics in the seminary. And, bringing up all those topics at a wedding was unwise because it won’t make you converts, but it will make your relations think you self righteous, without love, mercy, or good manners. I’m afraid this will backfire on you and your new wife quite nastily. I do wish you every happiness, however, and that you will learn to temper your overzealousness with a bit of wisdom and LOVE.
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We firmly believe in always preachings the Gospel, and I believe that although a wedding is a celebration it is also a perfect place to speak the truth to many people who hardly come to church or are lukewarm.

The truth WAS preached in LOVE. And it is LOVE that was behind this preaching. Also you are wrong as there ARE potential converts out of this. Please read my above posts. There seem to already be a few conversions happening.

Note that I said most of the people complaining are hardly practicing Catholics. Protestants had much good to say it seemed, more than the Catholics.
 
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proudnifi:
There is a time and a place for worrying about eternal damnation, but I question whether a friend’s wedding is the appropriate venue.

Looking at how pretty the bride is, smiling discrete “hellos” at people you haven’t seen in awhile, and wondering who you can follow to the recection hall is not completely out of place, although it’s far from the main point. Obsessing on these to the point of forgetting you are in a Church would be a bit much. I usually try to focus on praying for all married couples, especially the couple whose special day it is. And I pray that they are happy, stay close, have wonderful children, etc. - I don’t specifically pray for them to avoid fornication, adultery, etc. That kind of thinking makes me think about prenuptial agreements and other fun things.
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A time and a place? We should always be concerned about our salvation! A wedding doesn’t exclude the fact that we must be about saving souls!
 
Feanaro's Wife:
Exactly the point. They need to rearrange their priorities…they got some help doing just that.🙂

Malia
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EXACTLY! Thank you! :amen:
 
Frankly, I think this was a great idea! The wedding mass is still a mass, not a special ceremony designed for adoring the couple of the day, but sacred liturgy designed to worship God and to preach His word. What better time to defend the holiness of the sacrament of marriage and elevate the institution of the family? :tiphat:

God bless you and your priest for caring more about the souls of your guests than of their “comfort level.”
 
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Kielbasi:
I really don’t think its really appropriate for a priest to preach long and hard about hell and damnation to a random group of wedding attendees.
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I guess the groups that gathered to hear Jesus were not random? :confused:
Or should’ve we just gathered those who already agreed with our teaching? Are not many large groups of people in large parishes on any given Sunday quite random?
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Kielbasi:
Most folks at weddings want to see how beautiful the bride is, and are more worried about how they will get from the church (where they have never been before) to the reception hall (also in a new location for them.) , than they are about damnation.
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We are not about people pleasing. But preaching the Gospel in season and out of season. When convenient or not conventient.
Even it is said that the wedding is the “couples day”, it is still ultimately God’s day and we can’t forget that. Sure there is more emphasis on the couple since it is their wedding day, but their emphasis should never supersede the preaching of the Gospel or the fact that it is ultimately God’s time during Church.

If people are so worried about such trivial things as how beautiful the bride is, or travel, rather than the salvation of their souls… they must rearrange their priorities
 
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