Marriage Advice for the Young

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I’m sorry you’re going through a situation, but it’s still not appropriate to vent in the guise of giving advice.
 
Loud-living-dogma said:
We had Catholic neighbors who were in the local newspaper because they had about 21 children, about 18 of whom survived to adulthood. (This was in the late 1960s / early 70s).
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Woah that seems extreme.
Looking back through family genealogy on both Catholic and pre-birth control Protestant sides, it looks like people who married at a usual young age would normally have somewhere between 4 and 10 kids, and some of them didn’t live to grow up. I’ve heard of some really big families in the pre-WWII era but they weren’t confined to Catholics. Mostly they seem to have been either farm families or else blended families from two widowed people who married and each brought kids to the marriage and then had more kids together.
 
That’s good for you. I was simply not willing to marry a non-Catholic. Other people can do what they like but my firm belief is that it’s better to marry someone of the same faith. I’m not saying people don’t have successful mixed marriages. But I wasn’t interested in going down that road.
 
goodguy2342 said:
My advice, don’t… be happy…!

Otherwise, be sure you know the person…well.
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My response to this is another piece of advice.

Don’t let people telling you negative stuff about marriage put you off.

It’s up to you and your spouse how food or bad your marriage is.
 
JanetF said:
Something I heard in pre cana class that has stuck with me all these years: You are making a DECISION to love this person for the rest of your life. You may go through times when you don’t like the person very much, certainly will go through disagreements, but you must DECIDE that you will LOVE them for the rest of your life.
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Yep. This 100%
Too many people don’t get this. Love is effort. Not just a warm fuzzy feeling.
 
I feel like that borders on child abuse. There’s no way you can adequately parent 21 children. Kids require a lot of individual attention.
 
Don’t marry and be happy or don’t be happy in your marriage?
 
I’m being hyperbolic but not by much. Kids need a lot of individual guidance and attention from their parents, not other kids. I don’t see how you can possibly do that with 21.
 
Well, by the time the youngest ones are born, the oldest ones are out if the nest anyway.
 
It means that the siblings are able to support each other like good friends.
 
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