Married posters! What advice would you give to the single Pringles here?

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CelticWarlord said:
neither of us is remotely interested in dating again, when one of is eventually left behind.
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Maybe the Lord will be most merciful and call you both simultaneously unto himself.

That’s what I hope for - I don’t want to live on this earth without my beloved.
 
Why would you think I would say that to my wife?

It’s the truth though… Would you prefer me to be dishonest? It’s just how I honestly feel.
 
Humans are notorious for not knowing what makes them happy, that includes marriage. We stumble into happiness.

Just be yourself, enjoy the moment and don’t worry.
 
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Take the married calling to a far grander level.

Total gift of self, cheerful gift of self, root out, daily, every form of selfishness, self-seeking, self-pity.
Turn every moment into a happy participation in the entire life of Christ…from Birth to Resurrection.

His life is “totally available” to us to “marry up with”, to draw infinite graces from, to sanctify ourselves with, to sanctify others with, to sanctify the moment itself in which we’re offering it back to God.

Think about the way St Augustine used - and the Church uses - the word “participation”. We participate in the very life of Jesus Christ.

Marriage is much much bigger and grander and holier than you can imagine.

The material of marriage - the day to day struggles, yesses, efforts, friction, difficulties - become as it were the very means of our sanctification.
 
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I was being a little tongue in cheek.

But anyway, I’m not sure people really choose what vocation they have. And vocations to religious life are obviously less common than ones to married life. A society couldn’t function if the ratio of secular to religous was like 50:50.
 
You are correct in the word “choose”. In some way we discern by thinking, listening, and hopefully praying. To pick for yourself may land you in one vocation while wishing you had made a different choice.
 
A lot of older people that age, though not all, are looking for companionship, not sex. For that matter, a lot of people who aren’t elderly yet are more into companionship than sex.

I know there is a church rule about consummation, but we went over that in a thread a few months back with the priests.

Menopause also doesn’t necessarily make you unable or unwilling to have sex. You might need to help the process along a bit but stuff still works, and/or some people take pills (like several younger ladies I know who had hysterectomies in their 30s).
 
SuperLuigi said:
Don’t be a nice guy/beta male
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I’d say, don’t be the kind of nice guy who constantly goes around whining about how you’re a nice guy but always get the shaft, i.e. passive aggressive.

I know a lot of nice guys. All of them found wives with little difficulty. Nice doesn’t equal beta.
 
anikins said:
There’s no such thing as alpha and beta humans.
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I’m not a fan of the “beta male” stereotype because it’s not accurate based on physical terms. Behaviourally, however, it is.
anikins said:
When you impose just two categories of male on the world, you unnecessarily mislead young men into acting in certain predefined ways that aren’t actually conducive to attracting and sustaining healthy and enjoyable relationships with women, or finding success in other areas of life.
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The only defined thing they need to do is understand they have to attract the woman. Not beg or expect her to just date you because you agree on certain things.
anikins said:
Been married for 8 years. We met by accident. The only advice I have is to keep perusing each other even after your wedding day.
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That actually goes against the metoo movement you’ve been adoring. Some people would find that creepy.

Now, which way do they go?
 
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Having a spiritual director helps.
Tis_Bearself said:
I’d say, don’t be the kind of nice guy who constantly goes around whining about how you’re a nice guy but always get the shaft, i.e. passive aggressive.

I know a lot of nice guys. All of them found wives with little difficulty. Nice doesn’t equal beta.
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I think everyone knows that a “nice guy” is really just someone who acts like they are owed affection, pines about it on the internet on Friday nights and thinks all the abusive jerks gets the girls.

I sometimes think these folks like the whining better than having a REAL relationship.
 
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So are you saying to be an abusive jerk and treat girls like crap?

Because that’s the opposite of being a nice guy.
 
My advice would be to try to find someone who does have the same beliefs and values as yourself,has learned the meaning of sacrificing for others through experience .
 
SuperLuigi said:
That actually goes against the metoo movement you’ve been adoring. Some people would find that creepy.

Now, which way do they go?
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How does that go against #MeToo? I do not understand that at all. Perhaps you are confused about what I mean by “keep perusing each other”, or maybe you don’t know what #MeToo is.
 
anikins said:
How does that go against #MeToo? I do not understand that at all. Perhaps you are confused about what I mean by “keep perusing each other”,
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Maybe, but it would be read as stalking by some people in metoo.

Just letting you know…
 
Im separated… but do not regret marrying my wife.

I am praying that we reconcile!!!

Learn what the Church Teaches about marriage. It is fashioned after the covenant God makes with His Church, through Jesus.

We all have faults. Be ready to accept and forgive someone for things you may despise. Love them through it all!
 
SuperLuigi said:
Maybe, but it would be read as stalking by some people in metoo.

Just letting you know…
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Ok, yes the point of my post was most definitely lost on you. Maybe you are confused by the word pursue.

What I mean is that you should continue to treat your marriage as you do your faith, always stay hungry with a desire for an ever deeper connection. There is no other relationship, in any other environment in this world, which so closely reflects Christ and the Church.

One should continue to pursue their spouse romantically, physically, spiritually and emotionally into marriage and after children.

Flowers, gifts, random adventures, spontaneous sex, favors, declarations of love and more shouldn’t stop just because you’ve slipped a ring on that finger.

That has nothing at all to do with the #MeToo movement.
 
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