Married posters! What advice would you give to the single Pringles here?

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anikins said:
Just saw this reply. Just curious… is all of the sex in your marriage really scheduled?
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I have a very elaborate formula that tells us when it’s time to make a trip to the BoneZone. It’s based mostly on celestial movement and reruns of “Naked and Afraid.”

But I assume that what Bear was getting at is wanting a relationship that’s comfortable and fun as opposed to dramatic and full of bodice-ripping. At least, that’s how I read what she was saying.
 
BoomBoomMancini said:
I have a very elaborate formula that tells us when it’s time to make a trip to the BoneZone. It’s based mostly on celestial movement and reruns of “Naked and Afraid.”

But I assume that what Bear was getting at is wanting a relationship that’s comfortable and fun as opposed to dramatic and full of bodice-ripping. At least, that’s how I read what she was saying.
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Relationships can most definitely be comfortable and fun while also being “dramatic” and full of bodice-ripping, but to each their own.

Also, excellent Naked and Afraid reference! 👌
 
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Don’t make your primary purpose in dating to find a spouse. Instead, approach it as an opportunity to learn about yourself. Finding a spouse is gravy.
 
I think that’s a very personal question, rude, and IMHO none of your business, so I’m not going to answer it directly.

It also reflects a gross misreading of my post/ missing of the point that you would even glom onto that and ask.

It’s pretty obvious that there is a difference between something happening sometimes and when people are mutually sending each other cues, and a person just showing up going “Surprise!” I don’t like surprises. If other women do , then they can have them.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
and a person just showing up going “Surprise!” I don’t like surprises.
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That’s not what spontaneous sex means, or should mean. Sex should always be consensual. Spontaneous just means not scheduled or planned. I think we’re talking about the same thing, but you were confused by the terminology.
 
The dictionary definition of “spontaneous” that came up on Google isn’t “unplanned”. Rather, it is this: “performed or occurring as a result of a sudden inner impulse or inclination and without premeditation or external stimulus.”

I don’t think I’m the one who’s confused. I also think it’s bizarre that you would even start this discussion based on one phrase of a remark I made days ago.

Have a nice day.
 
I don’t understand this because if we waited until we had no shortcomings no one would ever get married
 
Not “you must be perfect to get married”. Rather, don’t get married as a “fix” for some other problem.
 
Because you shouldn’t view your spouse as a tool to some other end. Loving your spouse is an end in and of itself. For example, you shouldn’t get married just to have a licit outlet for sexual desire. that would be treating your spouse as a sex object. They’re not just something for you to use for your own ends; they’re a separate, distinct human being.
 
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Spouses do help fix each other’s problems though. I get your distinction but still there’s nothing wrong with your spouse helping you with something
 
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Of course you should help your spouse with fixing shortcomigs as you should help youself with this. But the danger is withing thoughts like “I married him because he helps me with my shortcomings” instead of “I marry him because he´s a great guy and beside this, we help each other”.
 
If you want to get married, I would avoid using the term “single Pringles” in conversation when meeting members of the opposite sex. It sounds a little old fashioned and like something Ned Flanders would say. Of course, there may be someone out there who thinks it is the cat’s meow or pajamas.
 
I’m sorry this is so long! 🙂
  1. God’s love has to be enough for you. With or without ever getting married.
  2. But, it’s ok to want to be married! A lot of ladies are taught not to want a husband, but to be independent! And a lot of men are taught that they don’t need to tie themselves down. Marriage is good, and it’s ok to want it! So be intentional about getting it.
  3. That being said… don’t be desperate. Men, you need to love the girl, not just the fact that you finally found a girl. Men, be confident, it’s attractive! Ladies, desperation will make you do things you regret and desperation can scare him off.
  4. Men need to pursue a woman, women need to feel pursued. Sex is cheap these days! So many women sleep with a guy on a first date but get mad when he doesn’t call. There was no chase, you were too easy, he’ll move on to a more difficult pursuit. And in today’s society he owes you nothing since casual sex is so normal. (Yay feminism!) Let him pursue you, let him fall in love, but wait to have sex until marriage. It sounds impossible to some, but it’s not. And just because it’s difficult doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try! You may lose some guys on the way, but they aren’t guys you want. And men… I’m sure you’ll have similar issues with women wanting to take it too fast. Remember that many of them have been brainwashed by our culture to believe that they have to throw themselves at guys to get love. Don’t judge them, but help them see what real love and respect feel like!
  5. Men, take responsibility! Ask women out. Plan the date. Make her feel special and like you WANT to date her, and that you spent time planning. None of this, “want to hang out sometime?” Ask her on a DATE. Offer to pay (going Dutch is ok some, but not on a first date)
  6. Pray for your future spouse! Pray for God to grow close to them.
  7. Pray for yourself, that God would prepare you to be the best spouse you can be. Ask for the fruits of the spirit. Ask God to bring you a spouse, but acknowledge that you trust his plan and timing.
  8. Don’t know any young Catholics? Fix it. No young adult group? Start one. Don’t like your YA group? Go anyway. Start a Catholic beer club, a new bible study, or try a word on fire group that meets once a week to watch a Bishop Barron video and discuss.
  9. Some of you are not going to marry a Catholic, accept this and widen your search. Marrying a Catholic would be ideal, and it’s good to try, it just may not happen. Do not marry an atheist or anyone into new age stuff. But a non-Catholic Christian could be great! It could help you both strengthen your faith! As long as the person you’re with isn’t anti catholic it can work. I know couples who go to both churches every Sunday. And who knows how God will work on them? (But be patient, don’t demand conversion from them just like you wouldn’t be with someone who demanded it of you.)
  10. And for those already dating, the biggest piece of advice I give to my friends over and over again is “say exactly what you just said to me, but say it to him!!” COMMUNICATION people! Even in the very earliest stages of dating. If you can’t say what you’re thinking, it’s not going to work out.
 
“Keep your options open.”

“There’s more than one fish in the sea.”

“You better shop around.”

This is what I was told. So I pass it on to others as I recieved it.

🤣
 
SuperLuigi said:
Don’t sit around waiting for it to happen cause Grandma said it’ll work out for your someday. Applies mainly to guys.
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That applies to girls, too.

You’re not going to find a husband by never going anywhere and never doing anything.
 
“Treat your home like a confessional, not a courtroom.” a wise, holy priest once told me.
 
Indeed. No one looks into the eyes of the gorgon and lives.
 
Never, ever, ever lie. As a matter of fact, the greater the temptation to do so, the more that you should fight it
 
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