Mass no no's

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LilyM said:
Really? How many children is Jesus shown in the New Testament disciplining, either directly or indirectly, physically or otherwise? Big fat zero.

Did he not rather say 'let the children come to me .
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I don’t totally disregard the Old Testament. Do you?
 
LilyM said:
But then I’ve known a fair few priests who love having children around, noise and all, and get grumpy if parents hush them up too much. Horses for courses.
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I’d venture to say that some of them are just being polite but even among those who aren’t, that still leaves hundreds of others who are being disturbed.🙂
 
LilyM said:
Really? How many children is Jesus shown in the New Testament disciplining, either directly or indirectly, physically or otherwise? Big fat zero.[SIGN][/SIGN]

Jesus didn’t have any children. It was the responsibility of those children’s parents to discipline their children and going by how strict parents were back in those days, I’m fairly certain they did.
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Faith1960 said:
It doesn’t matter if a parent gives a disapproving look to the child if the child continues to act up and his/her parent doesn’t do more to make sure the child isn’t being disruptive. Talking to the child before or after Mass is a start but if that’s ineffective it’s the responsibility of the parents to be prepared to take the child out into the lobby, outside, the cry room or find a babysitter.
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It is important for children to attend mass no matter what age and they can’t be in Christ’s presence if they are outside or being babysat at home. Also, many parents, including myself, cannot afford a babysitter on the rare occassion, let alone, each and every Sunday.
Faith1960 said:
I was just talking with a family member about this very subject, a family member who is one of the most devout Catholics I know, and she brought up another good point that I hadn’t thought of. She said that not only do many parents allow their kids to misbehave during Mass which annoys and distracts fellow parishioners but think about how disrespectful this is to the priest. Here he is, bringing the Lord to all of us and some people can’t even be bothered to see that their children sit and be quiet, instead letting them play and make a lot of noise for the short time we’re in Mass. She has a very good point. It’s just beyond disrespectful.
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Well, considering that I attend a parish filled with very devout Catholic families (including numerous home schooling families) who are very knowledgable about the teachings of the magisterium, most of those who are the devout Catholics at my parish LOVE children and the “praises” they sing at mass. They really are supportive of all the youth which may be why we have three religious life vocations from our parish and many more religious life vocations being discerned currently. The most devout Catholics I know are the most compassionate toward those who are struggling in any way (single mothers, homeless, poor, those in the infancy of their faith journey, the sick, etc.), they also are the same people who are extremely focused at mass where they don’t even notice “distractions” that are around them. To them, babies, toddlers, and children are God’s gift to all members of the body of Christ and are children who bring more life and joy to the body of Christ. To the devout, children are teachers to us adults and in turn we are to instruct them in the faith.

So, while your family member may notice distracting children, all the devout Catholics I know from my parish (as well as those from the Opus Dei parish and the two Tridintine Mass parishes) are loving of all children and are also able to focus on Jesus, not the so called distractions/annoyances around them.
 
suppliant said:
Hi I’m new to this board and I think it is really very good. I’ve been fascinated by the comments on veils, jeans and gum chewing. I’d like to add a couple more that I find very annoying. First I was taught that it was disrespectful to God to turn around and look behind you. You never turned your back to the tabernacle just to look at someone. Plus we were never allowed to talk in church. OK I know these are small things but to me it just goes along with showing respect to the Lord in His place of worship. I am looking forward to becoming part of the discussions here. Glad I found you.👍
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Here’s my list: Women in bikinis, baring outfits, shorts, people in shorts, babiis cryin’, sick people, applause, cantors that sound like opera stars, sining, mention of politics, the Irak war, burping, people patting other people’s legs (it happened to me), non priests that give out communion wafers (that is a priest’s job), prayer for presidential elctions (that doesn’t belong in the chuch), and so forth. Oh, and people that don’t dress right. And rambling priests that ramble and turn themselves into bulletin boards when starting and finishing the masses.
 
gmarie21 said:
It is important for children to attend mass no matter what age and they can’t be in Christ’s presence if they are outside or being babysat at home. Also, many parents, including myself, cannot afford a babysitter on the rare occassion, let alone, each and every Sunday.

Well, considering that I attend a parish filled with very devout Catholic families (including numerous home schooling families) who are very knowledgable about the teachings of the magisterium, most of those who are the devout Catholics at my parish LOVE children and the “praises” they sing at mass. They really are supportive of all the youth which may be why we have three religious life vocations from our parish and many more religious life vocations being discerned currently. The most devout Catholics I know are the most compassionate toward those who are struggling in any way (single mothers, homeless, poor, those in the infancy of their faith journey, the sick, etc.), they also are the same people who are extremely focused at mass where they don’t even notice “distractions” that are around them. To them, babies, toddlers, and children are God’s gift to all members of the body of Christ and are children who bring more life and joy to the body of Christ. To the devout, children are teachers to us adults and in turn we are to instruct them in the faith.

So, while your family member may notice distracting children, all the devout Catholics I know from my parish (as well as those from the Opus Dei parish and the two Tridintine Mass parishes) are loving of all children and are also able to focus on Jesus, not the so called distractions/annoyances around them.
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All? LOL. You can’t possibly know what ALL the devout Catholics from your parish are thinking or able to focus on or not focus on. :tsktsk:
 
gmarie21 said:
It is important for children to attend mass no matter what age and they can’t be in Christ’s presence if they are outside or being babysat at home. Also, many parents, including myself, cannot afford a babysitter on the rare occassion, let alone, each and every Sunday.
Code:
I guess the parents should do more to teach them to behave then, don’t you think?
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Faith1960 said:
All? LOL. You can’t possibly know what ALL the devout Catholics from your parish are thinking or able to focus on or not focus on. :tsktsk:
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Well, I can say for certainty that in my blessed parish family, almost everyone knows everyone and they don’t just say “hi” to the children, they ask questions to prove their interest in the lives and formation of all the children of all ages. They also know the names of the children. If I miss a week due to illness, the following week I’ll have many come up to me asking if I or my daughter were okay b/c we weren’t at mass. Then again, our parish is very involved in pro-life issues (and have even actively helped in opening and supporting a local Catholic Crisis Pregnancy Center). I have noticed that the parishes that have a strong pro-life message are the same parishes that are loving of all children AND THEIR PARENTS.
 
Faith1960 said:
LOL. Are you KIDDING? :rotfl: I guess you missed the part of my earlier post where I said that my daughter wasn’t perfect. She certainly wasn’t. We just didn’t have the problems we’re discussing go on and on because when she DID act up we didn’t just ignore it or encourage it in some way. When she was little she’d act up sometimes and my husband and I as her PARENTS, did our jobs as her PARENTS to correct the situation. I never would have dreamed to just let her do whatever she wanted and irritate other people just because it would be easier for me to ignore it or because I was an “overwhelmed” mother. And yes, sometimes I did feel overwhelmed. All parents do, it comes with the position. it’s no reason to slack off, though.

I remember a time when dd was about 2ish and my husband, my daughter and I were at the mall. We were going to get some ice cream and stood in this really long line. After a few minutes we decided that since all our shopping was done anyway, we’d leave and get ice cream at Baskin Robbins. Our daughter was NOT happy about that, at all. 😃 She didn’t want ice cream from Baskin Robbins, she wanted ice cream from…whatever the name of the place was in the mall.

Her cries and protests turned into an all out red faced fit. Dh picked her up and she she started kicking, screaming, flailing her arms, bending backward, flopping all over the place. We walked throught the mall like that, people staring. I’m amazed that a mall cop didn’t stop us to ask what was going on. I mean, she was MAD.:mad:

When we got out to the car, she was still going full blast. She refused to get into her car seat. My husband put her in it. She screamed all the way home. (We were not going to reward that behavior by taking her to get ice cream after that.) We got home and she refused to get out of her car seat, still screaming. Dh picked up the car seat with our daughter still in it and carried her into the house. Still screaming. This went on with her sitting in her car seat on our living room floor for about another hour, before she fell asleep or just screamed herself quiet.

The difference between this situation (and there were others) is that we weren’t about to do the easy thing and just give her what she wanted in order to avoid a scene or because it wouldn’ve been easier on us. There are a lot of parents who take the easy route because they’re either too lazy to do the job God entusted them with or they’ve been fooled into thinking this behavior is “kids’ll be kids” and cutesy.
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How old was your daughter at the time?
 
Faith1960 said:
gmarie21;1538756:
It is important for children to attend mass no matter what age and they can’t be in Christ’s presence if they are outside or being babysat at home. Also, many parents, including myself, cannot afford a babysitter on the rare occassion, let alone, each and every Sunday.
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I guess the parents should do more to teach them to behave then, don’t you think?
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Absolutely. However, if one is not the parent then one must approach with pure charity and compassion if wanting to give advice. However, I have noticed, in my parish, if their are kids who are a little more “full of life” they tend to calm down when they see another parent correcting their own child. When I’ve corrected my daughter, I have found that the noisier children around me have quieted down. This has also happened when my daughter has been noisy. If another parent corrects their child, then my daughter usually quiets down. Maybe its just my parish, but it seems to me that it comes down to monkey see, monkey do.
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Maureen_Fiore said:
Well, as a parent I did tell her to stop and she was showing off in front of her boyfriend. I was annoyed with her behavior from the moment we walked in until this incident happened. I questioned God why do I drag my family to church when I have to be annoyed by their behavior? I had a hard time going up for Communion because I was so upset with her. Later, after I reflected on what had happened I realized that maybe God was answering my prayers. As a parent I have an obligation to bring up my children in the Catholic faith. I cannot give my children a choice as to whether or not they want to attend mass.

What might my problem be???

Have you also realized that you were wrong??
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In what way?
You just won a platinum meadal for bringing your daughter to justice. Well done.😉
 
gmarie21 said:
Well, I can say for certainty that in my blessed parish family, almost everyone knows everyone and they don’t just say “hi” to the children, they ask questions to prove their interest in the lives and formation of all the children of all ages. They also know the names of the children. If I miss a week due to illness, the following week I’ll have many come up to me asking if I or my daughter were okay b/c we weren’t at mass. Then again, our parish is very involved in pro-life issues (and have even actively helped in opening and supporting a local Catholic Crisis Pregnancy Center). I have noticed that the parishes that have a strong pro-life message are the same parishes that are loving of all children AND THEIR PARENTS.
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That has absolutely NOTHING to do with what they think about the parent’s effort to teach their children right from wrong. The relative I was talking about earlier is also very, very involved in pro-life issues, as are her friends. She’s also the parent of 4. Loving all children and their parents is irrelevant to this discussion.
 
Faith1960 said:
All? LOL. You can’t possibly know what ALL the devout Catholics from your parish are thinking or able to focus on or not focus on. :tsktsk:
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Faith, you’ll never get the point across.
Some people have a really high tolerance for the behavior of their children and a really low degree of consideration for others.
 
netmil(name removed by moderator) said:
Faith, you’ll never get the point across.
Some people have a really high tolerance for the behavior of their children and a really low degree of consideration for others.
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I think there are some posters who maybe think that self-pity and concerning yourself with the faults of others are not the best occupation before, during, or after Mass. They really ruin it for me, anyway.

This is something I struggle with. Anybody else?
 
BLB_Oregon said:
I think there are some posters who maybe think that self-pity and concerning yourself with the faults of others are not the best occupation before, during, or after Mass. They really ruin it for me, anyway.

This is something I struggle with. Anybody else?
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I try very hard not to see what others are doing around me. I close my eyes or look at my children during certain parts of the Mass in churches that I’m visiting (I don’t have the distractions in my home parish)

For example, we went to one of the big historic churches in our area for a Blessing of the Polish dance troops. This church has only special masses twice a month so it was filled with people from different parishes. While trying to pray, the whispering and laughing from the chidlren was very loud and disruptive. This was encouraged by the adults intermix among them, by their own talking. I looked to my own children, four rows in front of me. God Love them, they were quiet and prayerful.

By your fruits you will be known. I can be assured that the time that I spent in the back of the church with my children has come to fruit. And trust me, I did pray for those who were never taught by their parents how to behave in Holy Mass.
 
BLB_Oregon said:
I think there are some posters who maybe think that self-pity and concerning yourself with the faults of others are not the best occupation before, during, or after Mass. They really ruin it for me, anyway.

This is something I struggle with. Anybody else?
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:clapping: :clapping: :clapping: And since having read this thread I’ve noticed that I’ve been trying even harder not to be judgemental of people around me that for instance don’t dress the way I think they should, don’t parent the way I think they should or don’t seem to have the amount of reverence I think they should during mass. So, I think I maybe have grown (a little) as a result of this. Sometimes blessings come from the strangest places, don’t they??
 
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