Hi. I have always been committed to waiting until marriage for sex, but I have struggled enormously with masturbation. I also, maybe in an attempt to justify my habit, seriously considered becoming a Protestant a few months ago. However, the more and more I learned, the more and more I realized that the Catholic Church is the “True Church,” if you will. Anyway, I have gone to Confession and talked to my priest about this and what he said was fascinating; he told me to first and foremost get it to the point where the masturbation doesn’t control me. Then suggested I exercise, eat properly, and get good rest. That struck me as interesting, because the only one of the those three things I do is exercise; I play football. But because of a tremendous amount of schoolwork I get 4-6 hours of sleep a night Mon-Fri. My eating habits are also less than stellar. So what he said really encouraged me; does anyone here have any other suggestions? How can I overcome this? My first instinct was just to stop–cold turkey, if you will; I last just a week, and then I couldn’t take it any longer. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
BigDL75, it seems to me that you’ve found a solid, helpful priest to be your confessor. Keep going to confession to him whenever you need to receive the sacrament of Reconciliation.
You certainly made the right decision by overcoming the temptation to leave the Catholic Church. The Catholic Church is indeed the one true Church–no doubts about it. One of the signs of her truth is that she refuses to compromise on condemning the sin you’re combating.
“Cold turkey”
is the only way to fight temptations against sexual self-control, since under no circumstances may a mortal sin be committed. But “cold turkey” doesn’t exclude the fear that you may fail again. If that happens–if the Devil lands a punch and puts you on the canvas–then just pick yourself up off the canvas and keep fighting (which implies going to confession). I doubt that your confessor meant to deny these principles. I believe that he was merely reflecting the following teaching of section 2342 of the
Catechism of the Catholic Church:
"Self-mastery is a long and exacting work. One can never consider it acquired once and for all. It presupposes renewed effort at all stages of life."
Assimilate the whole section on the virtue of chastity in the new catechism (sections 2331-2400).
Man, here’s a concrete thought to help you: the guy who conquers masturbation is making his future happiness as a husband and father much more secure. He’s acquiring the toughness necessary for repelling all the temptations that will threaten his love for, and his faithfulness to, his wife. A guy who achieves sexual self-control before marriage is doing a lot to improve his chances of staying strong after he gets married.
Remember this: the word “virtue” comes from the Latin word
virtus, which means “manhood” and “courage.”
I especially like your confessor’s urging you to exercise. Physical fitness reinforces mental and spiritual fitness, for all forms of toughness reinforce one other. So, in addition to praying (especially the Rosary), keep playing football. In fact, intensify your fitness program. Consider adding running to it. And eat more intelligently and get more sleep, dude!
Here’s an awesome aphorism from one of the intellectual giants. Even though he didn’t have the Faith, Plato said something that applies to every guy who wants to be truly strong:
"To conquer oneself is the first of all victories, and the greatest" (Laws, 626 E).
Good luck, man!
Keep and spread the Faith.
