Men - how do you feel about your wife seeing a male physician?

[chevalier]

Well, how about a man who lost his mother or another important woman in his life to cervical or ovarian cancer? That could motivate him to want to help women avoid those diseases… hence he would be a gynecologist.

Yup. And even if he simply had better grades in that academic area, it’s still not a bad motivation.

 

[CarrieH]

The biggest concern I see is the risk for humiliation of the patient. One or two women have asked for a female nurse when I responded to their call light, and I simply tell them, “Happy Mrs. ___, I’ll go and get one of them right now.”

We would sometimes “trade favors” with staff member of the opposite sex for that reason. Male RN Tom has young female patient Suzy who needs a urinary catheter placed, so Tom comes to me and says, “I’ll draw your morning labs if you’ll go cath Suzy for me.” Not that Tom is at all incompetent, but he is sensitive to the fact that Suzy might embarrassed by having a male nurse do such an intimate procedure. At one point I worked in the ICU of the only Catholic hospital in the area, and we would occasionally get parishioners from church as patients. If I were assigned to anyone I might know, I would have someone else do the potentially-embarrassing stuff. I prefer not to care for people I know on the outside, anyway. It makes it easier if/when awkward situations come up.

 

[queen_anne78]

My husband doesn’t care. I choose to go to a midwife–so she is clearly female. She is quite capable of doing my well-woman check-ups…when I need them. I’ve only had one my whole life other than any pregnancy related stuff. I went to a male GYN for my first check-up and while he was very nice and professional I felt humiliated. Maybe now since I have given birth and lost some of that modesty I would feel different now but…

I love my midwife. I want her to attend all my births…I hope I never have to see an OB or a GYN because if I did, it would mean that I was sick and in need of them…They are specialists. And in the event that I would need a specialist I would probably not be real picky as to whether they were male or female.

 

[Catholic90]

**But to have a doctor, male, WANT to specialize in looking at women’s you know whats eight hours a day, five days a week, fifty two weeks a year. And not just LOOKING at them, touching them, going inside them, etc. What would inspire a man to do such a thing? I CERTAINLY could never be married to such a man, after he’s seen/touched that many women in the most intimate of areas. **

** I don’t think any male should need to specialize in something like gynecology. I mean, no matter how strong he is, its has to be a source of impure thoughts at the very least. I couldn’t stand a man that did that all day long, every single day looking/touching me.**

Most doctors are far more professional than what you have described and far more mature than this. It is medicine, and there is nothing sexual about it.

Impure thoughts? No, not usually. It is medicine, and purely clinical.

I personally know a male GYN and he is the most compassionate, prolife, fiercely Catholic guy I know. His wife is amazing, and he has 5 wonderful kids. Believe me, there is no turn on for him while he is medically examining patients.

Grow up.

 

[drafdog]

I think I’ve counted fewer than 10% male response to this thread, which was supposed to elicit response from men!
As a husband, I have never had any problem with my wife seeing male physicians for whatever reason. This is a *profession *we’re talking about.

Matthew

 

[sanctamaria17]

I’m studying to be a doctor and it does shock me that people can be so immature. There is nothing sexual about taking care of people! And who is to say that men can’t be good gynecologists? I personally know some men who are a lot more sensitive and gentle than some women I know. If they ever wanted to have that profession, they would be the type of people I would pick for it.

 

[aurora77]

I have a male gyn and a male gyn-oncologist and DH is happy with both of them. That being said, I don’t think he ever wants to be in the room when they do their physical exam, but he feels like they have both given me great care, which is what it’s all about.

 

[ribbit]

My husband only cares that I get good care, not the doc’s gender. Actually, since I was too lazy to make an appointment myself, he was the one that called the clinic and set it up. While the clinic picked which doc my appointment was set with, if he was concerned, he could’ve asked them to switch me to a woman. That OBGYN is the only one I’ve ever been to (although his twin brother ended up being the one that delivered my baby, lol) is a married with kids man. He is very polite, friendly, and efficient. I certainly don’t get any sense that he is, umm, taking more than a professional interest. As an aside, while all his nurses are females, they never stay, or offer to stay, in the exam room. I suppose they would if asked…?

 

[Sarabande]

As an aside, while all his nurses are females, they never stay, or offer to stay, in the exam room. I suppose they would if asked…?

In my father’s practice, the nurses/medical assistant usually stay in the room for the female patients. My dad says that the male patients usually don’t want women in the room with them unless it’s their wife/daughter/female caregiver. If the male patients do ask for someone to stay in the room, my father will ask the MA to stay, but that is very rare. Some of the older female patients don’t like having the Medical assistants in the room as well, but it’s procedure now. (My dad works for a Catholic health network in his own private practice.)

 

[Marsha_Adams]

**Ha ha ha ha!
But to have a doctor, male, WANT to specialize in looking at women’s you know whats eight hours a day, five days a week, fifty two weeks a year. And not just LOOKING at them, touching them, going inside them, etc. What would inspire a man to do such a thing? I CERTAINLY could never be married to such a man, after he’s seen/touched that many women in the most intimate of areas. **

Why would a woman doctor find it any more pleasant than a male doctor? Perhaps the female doctor is a lesbian, and gets off on it? Are you going to ask her? Maybe the male doctor is gay, and doesn’t care about female anatomy “that” way, are you going to ask him?

What about proctologists? What inspire ANYBODY, male or female to want to look up rectums all day every day?

This is a rather silly issue when you get right down to thinking about.

 

[Leonius]

It would be more important to me that they were pro-life than what sex they are for reasons that should be obvious. And even if babies weren’t involved why give them your money if they are not?

 

[JimG]

**But to have a doctor, male, WANT to specialize in looking at women’s you know whats eight hours a day, five days a week, fifty two weeks a year. And not just LOOKING at them, touching them, going inside them, etc. What would inspire a man to do such a thing? I CERTAINLY could never be married to such a man, after he’s seen/touched that many women in the most intimate of areas.
**

That struck me as funny! Now what about a female urologist?!

 

[caoindealbhan]

Is he fully clothed?

 

[jwashu]

My wife and I go to the same GP, I’ve known him for 20 plus years as we talked a lot while I was in college about me going to medical school. He is a big strong former football player type guy like me but I’ve never thought twice about him hitting on my wife.

Her OB/GYN is 1 year older than I am and we know a lot of the same people because we would have been in medical school together ( I deferred a year then decided not to go). We have actually become good friends and often if I’m there I will ask questions and he will say “here, check this out, what do you think?” to which my wife just laughs now but was a little freaked at first.

He has delivered our 3 sons and will this one as well… again I’m totally comfortable with him as my wife.

I believe some people get WAY too uptight about this. I have no problem going to a woman Dr. and my wife wouldn’t mind it… it’s all about trust and security in YOUR marriage, leave the Dr.'s out of it.

Joe

 

[caoindealbhan]

I guess it really boils down to how YOU feel being examined by the male doctor. To ask the question raises questions that in someway you feel uncomfortable.

Even though everyone may be fine with the situation, if you are not, then you need to find a doctor that doesn’t make you wonder if you should be there or not.
You don't need to explain anything to anyone. All you need to know is that the situation is an uncomfortable one for you.

 

[lovemysix]

I feel very strongly about seeing only female practitioners for pregnancy/childbirth, but it’s not so much because of issues of sexuality. I have a problem in principle with the fact that I feel the whole area of childbirth was always handled by women until advancements in medicine started happening, and women were not allowed to attend medical schools. So naturally midwives were somewhat pushed out of the childbirth scene, and obstetrics was taken over by men.

I’ve been to a male gyno for a medical issue recently; I was not at all uncomfortable with him examining me. He’s a super-nice guy and all, and I trust him medically. But I still think it’s a rather odd field for a guy to choose to go into, JUST like I would find it a bit odd if a female decided to specialize in male impotence issues and deal with sick penises all day long. This doesn’t mean I don’t think a woman should be allowed to do this—I would just find it weird. I doubt men would put up with women taking over the field of impotence, though (or maybe they would?! :whacky: )

I’m a nurse, and I’ve seen plenty of penises in my time; I can assure you it doesn’t do ANYTHING for me sexually. But I would probably not decide to specialize in it all day long. I suspect my husband (who does not have any problem with me seeing a male gyno, btw) would NOT be pleased if I decided to treat impotence issues for a living

Lauren

 

[caoindealbhan]

In that case then I would go to the person who is most qualified. In 2008 I believe that people choose careers based on education and interest in specific fields. Some are better than others, but I’ve never given any thought to specialists and their personal reasons for entering a specific field. My main interest would be are you qualified? Great. Let’s get down to business.

 

[jwashu]

I feel very strongly about seeing only female practitioners for pregnancy/childbirth, but it’s not so much because of issues of sexuality. I have a problem in principle with the fact that I feel the whole area of childbirth was always handled by women until advancements in medicine started happening, and women were not allowed to attend medical schools. So naturally midwives were somewhat pushed out of the childbirth scene, and obstetrics was taken over by men.

I’ve been to a male gyno for a medical issue recently; I was not at all uncomfortable with him examining me. He’s a super-nice guy and all, and I trust him medically. But I still think it’s a rather odd field for a guy to choose to go into, JUST like I would find it a bit odd if a female decided to specialize in male impotence issues and deal with sick penises all day long. This doesn’t mean I don’t think a woman should be allowed to do this—I would just find it weird. I doubt men would put up with women taking over the field of impotence, though (or maybe they would?! :whacky: )

I’m a nurse, and I’ve seen plenty of penises in my time; I can assure you it doesn’t do ANYTHING for me sexually. But I would probably not decide to specialize in it all day long. I suspect my husband (who does not have any problem with me seeing a male gyno, btw) would NOT be pleased if I decided to treat impotence issues for a living

Lauren

Actually what we have found is the most… ok all the women OB/GYN in our area are all big feminist and are the worst about telling women what they need rather them helping them get what they want. Not only in birthing but in contraception as well (none are Catholic and many are pro-choice)

The most popular OB, female, has twice as many C-sections as most of the male Dr.s in town because she won’t wait, a couple of hour in an “you need a C” where as our first labor was 28 hours because my wife wanted to do everything possible to do it naturally. The other most popular female OB jokes that she let tends to “forget” to call the “epidural man” for her younger patients so that they can be “taught a lesson.” As someone who was accepted to Medical school, has a lot of friends who are physicians and nurses this makes me sick to even think about it.

As I use to work at a Children’s Hospital I want to note that I have worked with some of the best Dr’s in the world and many of them were women - surgeons, GPs allergist etc… And we have had a BAD experience with my wife’s OB from HS years ago (male) but not the kind of nightmares we have heard about the majority of the female OBs in our area.

I quoted this post because in many ways I agree with it. We actually considered water birth and possibly using a midwife due to the same line of thinking. However our personal experience and that of our friends has been totally opposite.

Also let me add that I KNOW exactly what it’s like to be examined by a female Dr. Before our first child was born we had problems and my Dr. recommended me get an ultrasound to see if I had any varicocels. The Dr. or tech who did it was female and the process took some time as she wanted to make sure I was good to go. I will admit it was odd at first but by the end we were laughing and talking while she finished up.

It’s all about trust I guess, possibly more so of who you are comfortable with than anything.

Joe

 

[whatevergirl]

I can’t vote, but I’ll speak for my dh. It never bothered him. I did see a very strange, dare I say perverse doctor many moons ago, who really creeped me out. I had two males though as my doctors through my pregnancies, and they were fabulous. But, when we moved from Florida up north 12 years ago, I decided to see a female after the visit to the strange male doc. I have loved having a female ever since. They are gentler, and KNOW what I’m talking about…it’s not just hearsay from other female patients, medical journals, or text books. A woman can identify with me more than a man, naturally.

But, I don’t think husbands should worry about their wives being examined by men. Unless the wife of course felt uncomfortable upon a visit, I’m of the belief that these men are professionals. And the exam is FAR from sexual.

Just my two cents.

 

[JimG]

I feel very strongly about seeing only female practitioners for pregnancy/childbirth, but it’s not so much because of issues of sexuality. I have a problem in principle with the fact that I feel the whole area of childbirth was always handled by women until advancements in medicine started happening, and women were not allowed to attend medical schools. So naturally midwives were somewhat pushed out of the childbirth scene, and obstetrics was taken over by men.

I’ve been to a male gyno for a medical issue recently; I was not at all uncomfortable with him examining me. He’s a super-nice guy and all, and I trust him medically. But I still think it’s a rather odd field for a guy to choose to go into, JUST like I would find it a bit odd if a female decided to specialize in male impotence issues and deal with sick penises all day long. This doesn’t mean I don’t think a woman should be allowed to do this—I would just find it weird. I doubt men would put up with women taking over the field of impotence, though (or maybe they would?! :whacky: )

I’m a nurse, and I’ve seen plenty of penises in my time; I can assure you it doesn’t do ANYTHING for me sexually. But I would probably not decide to specialize in it all day long. I suspect my husband (who does not have any problem with me seeing a male gyno, btw) would NOT be pleased if I decided to treat impotence issues for a living

Lauren

A friend of mine recently had a kidney stone removed from a ureter by means of a trans-urethral resection. A male urologist did the surgery, but everyone else in the room was female. The urologist left immediately afterwards to teach a class, so when problems developed requiring catheterization, and this happened to be more complicated than usual because of some blockage, it was the females who handled it. There were so many post-op problems from what was supposed to be a simple single morning procedure that I was laughing outrageously at his recounting of them, altho it was not funny to him, at least not at the time.