Men must masturbate?

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FYI – The quickest way to get a thread shut down is by a deterioration in the charity level of post exchanges.

BTW – I hope and do believe that we are on the same side, walking the same path, heading toward the same destination. I try to remind myself of this to measure my comments accordingly, though not always successfully.
 
corvidae said:
Masturbation is extremely hard to overcome, and almost impossible to overcome if you are convinced there is nothing wrong with it.
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THAT, my friend, is a great quote.

I’ve apologized to St. Michael. It always bugs me when somebody posts on a Catholic forum some sentiment that is clearly directly and seriously against Church teaching (such as masturbation is no big deal and necessary), but I overreacted and acknowledged that.
 
I appreciate all your responses - Thank you 🙂 I don’t know what exactly is meant by being happy in the love of God. I don’t even know God exists so this could all be a waste of time and effort.

How did you overcome this ‘sin’, those of you that have? :confused:
 
corvidae said:
I think the thing here is we must remember sin is sin.

We need to try and stop and encourage others to stop no matter what the sin is. Whether it is cursing, or stealing chewing gum, or whatever little sin we can come up with, it offends God. It is counterproductive to say, it isn’t that bad, you can keep doing it.

I am not a perfect person, but I will still encourage people to try and not to sin, even if I am struggling with not sinning. I encourage them, and they encourage me.

As Iron sharpens Iron, so Man sharpens Man

Let us help eachother, rather than simply saying I am ok, you are ok, we are not that bad

A lone Raven
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:amen: :blessyou:
 
Delta Force,
Have you ever heard of Pascals wager. Basically, if you believe in God, and no God exist, you lose nothing. If you do not believe in God, and God exist, you lose everything. Which would you wager on? It isn’t the best thing to base belief in God on, but it helps with doubts sometimes.

Also, the easiest way to stop is to try and cut lust out of your life. Try to stop all images that would spark lust. Control of the mind and the eyes is one of the keys. It is lustful thoughts that spark masturbation typically, so if you get rid of those, masturbation will become much less of a burden.
Also, prayer, there is no way to do this alone, so Pray.
Work as though everything depends on you, and pray as though everything depends on God.
 
Masturbation is widely taught as something good in sex-ed classes, but the Catholic Church clearly teaches it is a mortal sin - so the wife should indeed worry very much if she got to know her husband masturbates, especially if it’s a Catholic couple in question.
 
corvidae said:
I know that there is a good way and a bad way to do it, and it seems that you are both on the bad way. It seems to me (note seems) that you defend it as not that bad, don’t worry about it too much, and the other side uses name calling and such is not it either. It is somewhere in between.

A lone Raven
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I don’t defend it, I simply say the vast majority of men engage in it, and it is very difficult near impossible to conquer, I tried, I can’t do it. To believe masturbation means hell, you have to believe that probably 100% of 14-21 year old boys stand a statistical 0% chance of Heaven if they die within that age range. It’s a sin, not always mortal depending on the person and circumstances, but I also don’t think hell is full of masturbators either.
 
Saint_Michael said:
I don’t defend it, I simply say the vast majority of men engage in it, and it is very difficult near impossible to conquer, I tried, I can’t do it. To believe masturbation means hell, you have to believe that probably 100% of 14-21 year old boys stand a statistical 0% chance of Heaven if they die within that age range. It’s a sin, not always mortal depending on the person and circumstances, but I also don’t think hell is full of masturbators either.
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Did you have people supporting you in trying to stop. Did you believe at that time that masturbation was serious enough for hell. How was your prayer life at the time…
These may have been factors in your inability to conquer it. I do not know, I just know they definately help.
I cannot judge whether someone is in hell, but I do know that the Church considers masturbation gravely sinful. It may or may not be a mortal sin depending on circumstances, but you must understand it can be mortal. And someone can go to hell for masturbation. At least that is what the Church says.

I think we should encourage anyone who is sinning, no matter how serious, to stop. Now, one should focus on the more serious sins in life first, If someone is a mass murderer, we should start by stopping that. But if their most serious sin, and the most serious thing keeping them from growing in holiness, is masturbation, we should treat it like it is.

A lone Raven
 
Saint_Michael said:
I don’t defend it, I simply say the vast majority of men engage in it, and it is very difficult near impossible to conquer, I tried, I can’t do it.
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With all due respect, this looks like projection. That is, I can’t stop, therefore it must be impossible for others to stop. Also, I’m not all that certain about the vast majority either.
To believe masturbation means hell, you have to believe that probably 100% of 14-21 year old boys stand a statistical 0% chance of Heaven if they die within that age range. It’s a sin, not always mortal depending on the person and circumstances, but I also don’t think hell is full of masturbators either.
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The central issue is whether masturbation is a grave. YES IT IS. Not speculations about who is in Hell.
 
DeltaForce said:
Thanks I do understand this topic but I don’t see how one kind of mortal sin can outweigh all other things in one’s life and thus send a soul to hell.

So basically if one is guilty of a mortal sin and can not find it in their hearts to confess, they may as well stop going to Mass and helping out etc? Is that really what God is trying to say through the Church? It just doesn’t make sense…
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I believe a couple of things about this.
  1. God is merciful
  2. God is just
  3. We all have something that we are attached to that God wants us to let go of and replace with attachement to Jesus
  4. Part of us has to die to do this.
  5. Death is painful and so is quitting an addiction
I think that all men on this board can agree on one thing. Masterbation is a lie. A total lie of the devil. The intimacy love and sexual bonding that is sought in masterbation is nothing even close to the intended intimacy and bonding that is present in a loving sexual marriage relationship.

It is the devils lie for men.

Women have their lie to deal with to.
 
OH, I read a book called “Every Mans Battle” It is a very good book about men and lust.

Women, Read this book! you may be disgusted, but I can tell you in all honesty, this book is a hard and sobering expose on the world men live in.

When you read it and think “my man isn’t like this, these guys are perverts” remember the title “EVERY MANS battle”

not that all men act out on their urges, but ALL men have those urges.

But there is hope!
 
Scottgun said:
The central issue is whether masturbation is a grave. YES IT IS. Not speculations about who is in Hell.
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You cannot say that masturbation is a grave sin, it is for some, not for others, depending on habit, willful knowledge etc…

About the vast majority, I won’t bother arguing but it’s my opinion that the vast majority of men masturbate.
 
Saint_Michael said:
You cannot say that masturbation is a grave sin, it is for some, not for others, depending on habit, willful knowledge etc…

About the vast majority, I won’t bother arguing but it’s my opinion that the vast majority of men masturbate.
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Gotta step back a couple of inches.

Masturbation, as the matter of sin, taken in itself, is OBJECTIVELY GRAVE MATTER.

For a particular person – given the mitigations of immaturity, lack of knowledge, addiction or habit – it may be SUBJECTIVELY imputed as a venial sin. But the action itself is “grave” – which is CCC lingo for mortal.

Just saying that “for some people it isn’t mortal” gives the impression that the exception is the rule and the rule is the exception.

Whether “the vast majority of men masturbate or not” has nothing whatever to do with anything. Basic moral principles of the natural law are not determined by the civil rule of democratic polity.
 
santaro75 said:
OH, I read a book called “Every Mans Battle” It is a very good book about men and lust.

Women, Read this book! you may be disgusted, but I can tell you in all honesty, this book is a hard and sobering expose on the world men live in.

When you read it and think “my man isn’t like this, these guys are perverts” remember the title “EVERY MANS battle”

not that all men act out on their urges, but ALL men have those urges.

But there is hope!
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The guys who wrote Every Man’s Battle also wrote a parallel volume entitled Every Woman’s Battle. I haven’t seen the books myself but I’ll accept your word that EMB is worth reading. This pair are respected Evangelical Christians.

So, Guys, it’s not just Catholics who “get it” about this purity stuff!
 
Saint_Michael said:
You cannot say that masturbation is a grave sin, it is for some, not for others, depending on habit, willful knowledge etc…
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To clarify for you: The Church has always held that masturbation (solitary, mututal or marital) is always gravely sinful. I believe that you are confusing whether masturbation is mortal, which requires the conditions for mortal sin be met, which amongt these conditions are “sin whose object is grave matter”. Grave sin is an objective matter, mortal sin is an objective and subjective matter. Any “intrinsically and gravely disordered action” is always gravely sinful.

2352 By* masturbation* is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” …

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability. (CCC)

2396 Among the sins gravely contrary to chastity are masturbation, fornication, pornography, and homosexual practices. (CCC)

1857 For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: “Mortal sin is **sin whose object is grave matter **and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.”
 
DeltaForce said:
How did you overcome this ‘sin’, those of you that have? :confused:
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I simply decided I did not want to do it anymore–I did not want to offend God any longer and I wanted to share sex with my wife only. I started going to confession regularly, mass as much as possible during the week, saying the rosary daily & praying as much as possible. It was hard at first, but everytime I was tempted, I said an “Our Father”, “Hail Mary”, and a “Glory Be” and the temptations subsided. I no longer have any desire to do it, but do feel tempted from time to time.
 
JohnnyK said:
I simply decided I did not want to do it anymore–I did not want to offend God any longer and I wanted to share sex with my wife only. I started going to confession regularly, mass as much as possible during the week, saying the rosary daily & praying as much as possible. It was hard at first, but everytime I was tempted, I said an “Our Father”, “Hail Mary”, and a “Glory Be” and the temptations subsided. I no longer have any desire to do it, but do feel tempted from time to time.
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What about those who are a long way from marriage? :o They just bottle it up or what?
 
Sure, many can, since many have overcome it, another question is if they want to tell about it in public. It doesn’t seem rare that one simply learns of its sinfulness and starts fighting so as not to do it anymore - it is possible to form one’s conscience so that a sin that previously seemed ok will after a couple of years be totally disgusting and obviously wrong to the conscience - I remember I used to wonder why the church forbids contraception but now I couldn’t think of too many things that are more obviously wrong and immoral to my conscience (although I don’t have any personal experience of that stuff - this is on the level of intelligence and conscience)…
 
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