Mental Illness and Leaving the Church

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Knightswhosayni said:
Understanding why I behaved this way and why it was hurtful was the key to everything.
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I’m so sorry! It’s not that I thought you needed a formal diagnosis, it’s was that you said you had studied psych and were certain… I thought it might be one of those things like med students thinking they have the diseases they are studying 😳

It’s great that you were able to get this benefit from understanding your exact situation.
Knightswhosayni said:
I’m disappointed that the church was not a great help to me
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In what way would you like the Church to help you? What questions would you like it to answer?
 
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I thought I would get the grace needed to overcome immature feelings. Not that I would have no responsibility to grow or learn but receive some comfort. All my comfort has come outside the church. I thought I would find an understanding community. All the books I read, had spiritual advice, but nothing practical. I’m sure there are better books out there, but everything I read just increased my ideas of failure. I think the church should be helping Mothers outside it’s walls. Maybe worship is the sole purpose. I’m ok with that, but I think alot of people have an expectation for a reason. It’s not just in their heads. I mean the church embracing Psychology as a useful thing is fairly knew.
 
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What is your daily prayer life like? Patience is required for healing. In all your posts I sense impatience. Give God a chance to work on you, but do it humbly and realize that, while He can easily heal you in one second if He choses, if He doesn’t do so He wants you to quietly persevere in prayer and the use of the sacraments.
 
I won’t claim to know what it is like to be in your shoes, but I can say one thing that made me feel supported in motherhood and finally made the whole Mary piece click for me was a program through the Cana Institute (formerly called Familia). Maybe check if there are any groups forming in your area? Year one was especially good, covering Mulieris Dignitatem and Redemptoris Mater (JP2 encyclicals).

https://canafamilyinstitute.com/find
 
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Not an unfair assessment. Impatience and impulsivity are definite challenges for me. I don’t discount prayer as good, or necessary. Prayer and my environment are challenging. My favorite place to pray was in Adoration. But, my spouse didn’t care. I begged to be in town for that very reason early in our marriage. His personal preferences of country life won out. My spouse is another example of a devout person being totally clueless to what actually matters or is effective in helping people who struggle. I mean, I’m not a nice person, I’ll grant you. I just find devout people frequently clueless about reality. I know that’s unfair, because awesome devout people exist. I love Bishop Sheen for example. But, I’ve been hurt by too many loyal and devout followers. I’m rehashing feelings just thinking about it. It’s beyond my control, so now a days I dont judge so harshly. I just ignore them and their ignorance. I mean, it’s not on purpose. But, it’s definitely annoying.
 
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Ok self awareness is a good step many times. If patience is a challenge this can be worked on. A few longer deep breaths before responding, working towards non-immediate goals, not judging others… all these things can be moved towards. Practice surely helps 😀
 
I really do appreciate all your responses. They give me alot to consider. I have been working to own my immaturity, but it’s hard to feel so alone in doing the work. Bless you all for sharing with me. I hope I can return the favor.
 
Two hours away is the closest, but I’d be willing to attend something on a weekend. I live in such a conservative state with a large Catholic population, yet we have nothing like this. I’m telling you, mental illness is not a priority amongst the devout people I know.
 
I understand that you may feel very alone through this. But know that I am certainly praying for you, and you are never alone in the presence of the Divine Company.
 
Thank you. I will pray for you as well. Any intentions?
 
That is very kind. Please pray for a close friend, both mom and daughter. Her daughter, Clara, is 7 and is battling a disease described as being “7 diseases in one” among other health concerns. The souls in purgatory. And several special intentions… Really it is so kind of you❤️ Anything else specific you need prayers for in your life currently?
 
Thank you as well. I’d say for my brother and his family. He is the only one attending church and they have lost connectedness with each other. Strength against pride and anger for all those afflicted.
 
I have spent years with someone with Borderline Personal Disorder, another with ADHD and others with Manic-Depressive Disorder. The Church is a hospital for sinners and a place of worship. It has dealt with the question of mental illness. I recommend calling your local parish and arranging to speak to a priest. Ask him some questions, ask him to guide you. The Church recognizes that we all have problems and will do something to help you.

When my mother’s mother died, she took me to the rectory and spoke to our pastor.

Jesus Christ became a man and felt all of the temptations we experience and overcame the world. The Church, and God, knows our pains and our struggles.

May God bless you.
 
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