"Michigan couple: Priest, 'bully' coach ruined our son's funeral"

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Perhaps they were concerned he would be unable to give a homily without constantly mentioning the cause of death —information to which the entire congregation is not actually entitled.
 
JulianN said:
Perhaps they were concerned he would be unable to give a homily without constantly mentioning the cause of death —
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When Fr. LaCuesta met with the parents to discuss his homily, did he ask them about the cause of death? I don’t know, my only source of information is the AP news report, and it doesn’t say whether he did or didn’t ask them that. And if he did ask, what answer did they give? All we know is, in the words of the AP reporter, “The Bedford, Michigan, family had not disclosed the nature of the youth’s death to the priest, according to the suit.”
 
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I don’t understand why in the original news story, it said that the priest noted what the family wanted in the homily. “What the family expected him to say”. What? Is that what normally happens in Catholic funeral planning – the family tells the priest what he should say?
 
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It is usual for the person holding the funeral to meet with the family and discuss what they would like in the message. I did the funeral for a 20 year old woman who died by suicide last year.

I had been told by a family friend it had been a suicide, and initial press reports mentioned it. I brought it up with the family and they requested no mention of the word suicide, so I didn’t.

That said, I think the sermon this thread was about was a good message focused on Gods mercy. As has been mentioned, it probably wasn’t necessary to mention the word suicide 6 times.
 
Hmmm. I remember a former pastor using a funeral homily to preach about the Catholic Church and how it was God’s only true church, etc. I don’t think he took his homily orders from anyone! :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:
 
It’s probably only a matter of time before a bride sues a clergyman because his homily ruined her wedding!
 
It reminds me of a family that got mad at a Priest for refusing last rites to a man who hadn’t been to Mass for 20 years and showed no signs of coming back to the church prior to incapacitation.
 
BartholomewB said:
When Fr. LaCuesta met with the parents to discuss his homily, did he ask them about the cause of death? I don’t know, my only source of information is the AP news report, and it doesn’t say whether he did or didn’t ask them that. And if he did ask, what answer did they give? All we know is, in the words of the AP reporter, “The Bedford, Michigan, family had not disclosed the nature of the youth’s death to the priest, according to the suit.”
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Well, it seems that they either did not disclose the cause of death, in which case the priest was presumptuous. Or they did disclose it and asked him not to mention it.

I’m not sure why the priest felt it was his obligation, or right, to discuss the cause of death in a homily.
 
You don’t think everyone deserved to hear the Church’s thoughts on how God’s children don’t have to be separated from him, even in death through suicide?
 
You can usually do without and have the same results.
 
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JulianN said:
Or they did disclose it and asked him not to mention it.
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They state in their lawsuit that they did not disclose it to him.

“The Bedford, Michigan, family had not disclosed the nature of the youth’s death to the priest, according to the suit.”
 
BartholomewB said:
They state in their lawsuit that they did not disclose it to him.
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Well, if that’s true, he was definitely out of line. Why would he think he had the right to disclose the cause of death to an entire congregation?

I’m not saying it’s lawsuit-worthy, but would necessitate admonishment and an apology. (Which I believe has happened. )
 
You think all the people at the funeral and all his classmates didn’t know it was suicide?
The parents think they can dictate to the pastor what his funeral homily should be about, and they think everyone else is going to know the cause of death except for him?
 
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The cause of death doesn’t really matter. There’s nothing to be gained by stating it except for unneccessary problems.
 
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It doesn’t really matter. It wasn’t his business to disclose—and the homily is properly about the readings. He had no business discussing the cause of death.
 
JulianN said:
It doesn’t really matter. It wasn’t his business to disclose—and the homily is properly about the readings. He had no business discussing the cause of death.
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Too bad we don’t know the content of the homily that the parents think they “ordered” but didn’t receive.
Something tells me it wasn’t just discussing the readings.
 
Again, it doesn’t really matter. He was not obligated to deliver a homily ‘ordered’ by the parents—but he was completely out of line to discuss the cause of death in a homily.
 
Here’s some advise for if you’re working with someone whose child died, whether you’re a priest or a layperson.

Never say “Your child went to Hell”; if you honestly think that then still don’t say it. If the deceased died of suicide or a drug overdose or in a shootout or whatever then you still shouldn’t say it. If you do then I guarantee that it will push people away from God.

“Let us pray for the peace and repose of your child’s soul, and trust in the love and mercy of Christ.” It’s as simple as that.
 
Does this priest presume to know the mind of God, and how he’s going to judge someone? Did God whisper in this priest’s ear that he was going to condemn this young man to hell for all of eternity? How DARE he be so presumptuous, especially at a time like that! This is why people leave the Church – that kind of insensitivity and lack of compassion when it’s needed most. Shame on him! He didn’t need to be so judgmental. Only God knows for certain the circumstances under which that young man took his life. Only God knows what was going on inside of him, the things he was going through, and how insurmountable this young man might have found them. God is mercy. God is love.
 
@JanR
@BorninMarch
Did you read the homily above? I challenge you to quote where the priest says the young man is going to hell. He doesn’t say that.
 
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