Okay so if I’m to understand you here, it would appear that if one wants to get a wife or a husband, one should not really care about chastity? I mean, the problem with trying to live chastely in our degenerate culture is that you have to avoid a lot of people and situations, and this necessarily makes you less interesting to women than men like this charming secular man you’ve married, who has spent time with other people and women, learning the ways of the world and how to attract women.
Furthermore, it appears that while people like OP are in the library studying or whatever to avoid sexual temptation, in all likelihood, their future spouse will be out there cavorting with charming secular people having lots of sex like OP’s girlfriend did, so really, what’s the point in following the narrow path if all you’re going to get is a wife or husband who didn’t really care enough about their conscience and our Lord to live chastely, and whom they will not even “deserve” in the first place?
(although according to you single people who attempt to follow our Lord Jesus Christ and live chastely instead of getting into romantic relationships and into situations of opportunity for hot sex with charming secular men or women, they don’t know what sexual temptation really is so they should just shut up

)
So basically, chastity is unimportant, what is important for attracting people is being charming and having lots of sexual experience, is this the thrust of your post?