My husband is emotionally abusive

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As was mine, which was annulled. I am now Catholic and my marriage to my wife of nearly 20 years has been convalidated.
Please keep this thread about the OP rather than trying to judge me on things you know nothing about.
 
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Apparently not though (according to some men in a tribunal).

But anyway, my point was that you described nothing about faith. I was merely questioning.

We should encourage to seek healing through Jesus.
 
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Read my edited post. Please look at your own issues before passing judgement on me over things that took place decades ago.
 
I’m not judging a thing. Just asking questions. Because we should encourage the healing of Marriages through the Lord.

I understand some do not heal because of the hard heartedness of one or both. Trust me, I know this!
 
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OP, I encourage you to give your husband a St Rita Medal. Ask for her intercession. Invoke her name, with the Lord’s name.

I hope the best for your situation. I am in my own struggling Marriage. My intentions are to seek the One’s help who we are joined together in. Only He, and His love in us, can heal.
 
rcwitness said:
OP, I encourage you to give your husband a St Rita Medal. Ask for her intercession. Invoke her name, with the Lord’s name.
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I am going to be blunt here. Do you understand what kind of man her husband is? The women here “got it” from her first post. Her husband doesn’t want a St. Rita medal. Her husband wants to control her and abuse her in any way that makes him feel better about himself. He has shown not an iota of wishing to change or acceptance that he is the problem, and a shameful one at that.

You keep suggesting they work through this problem by approaching it from a religious standpoint. That is kind of the problem, you know? As in he has no interest in being the kind of husband he should be.

OP: Do what you have to do to get the heck out of there before it escalates to physical violence. Staying will teach your child that is acceptable to allow a man to treat you that way. Both you and she deserve better. There is no shame in admitting you made a mistake. If your husband sees the light and decides for himself he needs to change, then that is good. He can still do that even if you divorce him. He isn’t your responsibility to “fix”, especially if he has given no indication he wants to be fixed.

I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers.
 
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QwertyGirl said:
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rcwitness:
OP, I encourage you to give your husband a St Rita Medal. Ask for her intercession. Invoke her name, with the Lord’s name.
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I am going to be blunt here. Do you understand what kind of man her husband is? The women here “got it” from her first post. Her husband doesn’t want a St. Rita medal. Her husband wants to control her and abuse her in any way that makes him feel better about himself. He has shown not an iota of wishing to change or acceptance that he is the problem, and a shameful one at that.

You keep suggesting they work through this problem by approaching it from a religious standpoint. That is kind of the problem, you know? As in he has no interest in being the kind of husband he should be.

OP: Do what you have to do to get the heck out of there before it escalates to physical violence. Staying will teach your child that is acceptable to allow a man to treat you that way. Both you and she deserve better. There is no shame in admitting you made a mistake. If your husband sees the light and decides for himself he needs to change, then that is good. He can still do that even if you divorce him. He isn’t your responsibility to “fix”, especially if he has given no indication he wants to be fixed.

I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers.
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This is a Catholic forum.

It’s not Atheist Answers Forum
 
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There’s nothing atheist in suggesting methods that aren’t religious or encouraging the OP to consider other steps than praying and giving certain medals.
 
Yes, it is a Catholic forum. Which makes these issues difficult. I promise on the atheist forum there would be general agreement on how to handle the situation.

If both spouses were dedicated to their faith (Catholic) then this wouldn’t be a problem. I challenge you to find someone who is a dedicated Catholic, trying to live their faith, trying to love their brothers and sisters in Christ, who repeatedly and daily abuses their spouse. So then you get into the territory of at least one of the spouses not really digging the religion (and I mean that as an understatement). So making suggestions like “give him a holy medal” aren’t helpful. The man doesn’t want a holy medal. Any woman who has been with an abusive partner will tell you doing something like that will throw gas on the fire.
 
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This was the comment:

You keep suggesting they work through this problem by approaching it from a religious standpoint. That is kind of the problem, you know?
 
rcwitness said:
This was the comment:

You keep suggesting they work through this problem by approaching it from a religious standpoint. That is kind of the problem, you know?
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I think what both @QwertyGirl and I are trying to say is if one spouse isn’t interested, there’s very little religion can do to influence their behaviour/actions. Therefore steps other than involving religion need to be taken.

Just as a disclaimer - I’m not trying to disavow religion and insult anyone’s faith, that’s the last thing I would want to do. I think the OP should pray and I think she should consult a Priest and get help from her beliefs. I also think she needs to get out, pronto. I don’t think my holding of those two views contradict each other at all.
 
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If a husband is a abusive and not following the Word, does that mean a wife should give up on him?

That would be un Catholic.

I agree that separation is warranted. This husband is being abusive.

I am a man. And I know what would reach my heart to make real change.

What does the Prince Apostle say?

Christian Spouses. Likewise, you wives should be subordinate to your husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives’ conduct when they observe your reverent and chaste behavior
 
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My personal opinion is that this situation requires mandatory counselling for the husband and the wife being willing to split if he won’t go. Whether that’s possible with the current immigration and custody situation, I’m not sure. I can understand being concerned about it though. THe only thing I can think of in the meantime is to set boundaries and stand by them. He doesn’t like the way you do laundry? Tell him, “I just remembered! You’re a grown man and can wash your own drawers!” Let him go crazy and ruin his future custody case. If he threatens you in anyway, though, be prepared to split. Know where you will go and have what you need in the car.
 
1ke said:
Uh, yeah. She should get herself and her children as far away from his as possible.
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But perhaps not in heart?
That’s because you are not actually an abuser.
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Well, I can’t prove it in Scripture, but I truly have abused my wife.
 
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