My now homosexual husband wants custody

  • Thread starter Thread starter catholickate147
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I should add a great resource that you should read before the case. It’s a book authored by an American gentleman, Bill Eddy, who is accredited as both a lawyer and a licensed clinical social worker. He specializes in providing legal counsel to families challenged with high conflict in marital separations, particularly where co-parenting is required. His approach is uniquely effective, because it speaks to both the legal and psychological dynamics of interacting with intractable “difficult” personalities. I can’t recommend it highly enough. It’s a quick read, and it comes in e-book format, so you could read it before next week.

The title is: “Splitting- Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder”

A brief synopsis of the book’s contents is listed at: http://www.bpdcentral.com/store/splitting/prod_9.html

You and your lawyer know your situation best. Reading the book might spark some ideas about different psychological or emotional “currencies” that are valuable to your ex, but which cost you and your children nothing legally. If you can deflate some of his emotional needs to get at the core issues, everyone will be better off.

Sorry to inundate you with so many posts. I’m just trying to provide you with anything that might help next week!
 
Last edited:
Honestly I would ask for this, as well. He may have abandoned every promise he made – this doesn’t change the fact that raising these children in the Catholic Church must be a priority.
 
Cecilia_Dympna said:
Can I ask what the UU is please?
Click to expand...
Unitarian Universalism. Super liberal. From Wikipedia: “Unitarian Universalists assert no creed, but instead are unified by their shared search for spiritual growth. As such, their congregations include many atheists, agnostics, and theists within their membership.”
 
I don’t want to disparage that faith. But for someone who has planned on raising her children in the Catholic Church…it’s a tremendous departure.
 
Yeah, the kids would be better off saying home and watching cartoons than going to a UU service.

Hope this works out for the best!
 
It’s good that you have been given preparation time to inform your children, and usually I would not advise their being informed as yet. But the compounding effect of the mortal sin that is eagerly being sought (consummating the act for registration into the book of the dead) is advancing quickly. You need to instill in your children that this behavior is a mortal sin, and that the “wedding” would be a satanic ritual. They need to know that the devil can trick people by making them feel romantic love for someone who is the same sex. Even those who help in the ritual are in mortal sin. These temptations are happening as a test for them, and they need to respond by reflecting on the reality of what God has given them so far, by drawing closer to family, and reflecting on their matrimonial promise. They need to be told that the Holy Mother has cured people who went for her for help with this by saying the Rosary every day. You need to try to save your husband too.

The very young can simply be told that it is wrong what dad is doing. The older ones can be told the details.

You need to come on full force with lots of prayer. Holy water everywhere in your home. The children should pray too, as they have extra pull with our Lord, and especially when it involves saving their dad.

Refuse to give up, and ask St. Michael to give you strength in these difficult times.
 
What are the details that make him believe he would even get full custody?
You’re going to have an uphill batter. Don’t get a good lawyer, get an amazing lawyer. Maybe someone at the church knows someone particularly fine.
 
Please run the idea of telling your children that daddy has been duped by Satan into thinking he’s in love with another man and participating in satanic rituals by your lawyer before actually doing it.

If he expresses anything other than horror and stern warnings of blatant parental alienation, you should probably get a new lawyer.
 
Along with my broken record of talking to someone from Courage, our OP may want to reach out to Fr Martin. He has social media where one can message him Fr. James Martin, SJ
 
TheLittleLady said:
Along with my broken record of talking to someone from Courage, our OP may want to reach out to Fr Martin. He has social media where one can message him Fr. James Martin, SJ
Click to expand...
@TheLittleLady, I would caution the OP and anyone else to look to Fr. Martin for help in the homosexual arena. While being compassionate to our SSA brethern, he also had a tendency to be overly accepting of the PRACTICING of the lifestyle…and has some questionable theology as well.
 
You are welcome to hold your opinion.

Others, like me, find his ministry to be of benefit.
 
My advice is to learn to love your kids more than you hate your ex. If you focus on them and not what he’s done for you, then you’ll get through this. You’ll undoubtedly have to compromise, but so will he, and in the end, keep asking yourself what’s best for the kids…
 
TheLittleLady said:
our OP may want to reach out to Fr Martin. He has social media where one can message him
Click to expand...
This is probably the worst advice on this thread. All he’d do is tell you that the “Christian thing” is to accept your husband’s sexuality and probably give you some of his heretical opinions.
 
Maybe you can tell your children (and as they get older) that as a Catholic you believe in sin and that their father has sinned (as has everyone).
Even if the homosexuality was due to psychological or ignorance factors,he clearly knowingly did a wrong and hurtful thing (sinned) by having an affair while he was still married to you.

This will probably seem like the hardest thing in the world to do as this situation happened to you and it was you that he hurt,but I also think you need to find a way to become more dispassionate about his homosexuality and homosexuality in general.
I mean still believing it is a sin but without having so much emotion attached to it because this will help to prevent alienating your children.
As your children get older,if they perceive you have excessive feelings about homosexuality,this could inadvertently push them towards the beliefs of your husbands UU Church.
Especially so growing up in the current climate that we live in,where it’s perceived very unpopular to disagree with gay marriage etc,they could misperceive you as being a “hater” or be brainwashed to believe you are one.
This could push them further away from the Catholic faith.

By loving your husband (hard!) and not speaking bad words about him while still staying firm in your beliefs will demonstrate Christ to your children and hopefully they will keep following that as they get older.
Also telling them it’s good to have courage/ok not to follow the climate of “popular social construct”.
 
Not sure if this will help or not, but when my ex-wife and I divorced it was in the divorce decree that we can both make decisions for our kids when either parent has them, but the overall decision and the decision I would have to go by if there is a disagreement is left to my ex-wife and that includes religion.

This is the reason I have been given dispensation from my priest not to attend mass because my ex-wife has drawn a line in the sand and said I cannot bring them to mass with me.

So, maybe you can also have a similar thing put into the divorce decree?
 
lonegreywolf20 said:
So, maybe you can also have a similar thing put into the divorce decree?
Click to expand...
Because you found it to be so favorable to you, your children and your beliefs? This is terrible advice. Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want done to yourself, for heaven’s sake! OP is going to have to learn to share her kids with her ex-spouse, and yes, that means in religious upbringing too.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top