My responsibility to tell another Catholic he should not receive Communion?

[graciew]

Since you feel like mentioning Confession to your friend,I would say sth like " If you ever need confession or you have any questions,the priest is available on MOndays…etc etc and you can also mention sth positive about your priest,parrish as well. You are not judging,you are not forcing,you are opening doors to welcome him back.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

If you had minded it a bit better you would have known these:
The 7 Spiritual Works of Mercy
To counsel the doubtful
To instruct the ignorant
To admonish the sinner
To comfort the sorrowful
To forgive all injuries
To bear wrongs patiently
To pray for the living and the dead

As this individual the OP is speaking about is a Catholic one can in no way assume they are “ignorant”. Also the OP states that he does not know if the individual has gone to confession. As always, we can not make any sort of assumption as to the state of an individuals soul, so “admonish the sinner” does not work here either.

Now if you witness a Catholic commit a sin, you might say something but again, only mortal sin separates one from receiving the Eucharist and there really is no way for us to know that an individual committed a mortal sin as there are three conditions that must be met for it to happen.

1. 
   *]object is grave matter
   *]full knowledge
   *]deliberate consent
   
   In witnessing a sin you can only know number 1.
   
   Yes we can teach Catholics what is necessary but that is done in the context of teaching. Talking with a friend is not the place for this to occur unless they ask you about it.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Thanks for the advice everyone. It turns out he cancelled on me last minute anyways. I wasn’t going to say anything unless I was sure I needed to, and that’s why I asked y’all, I wasn’t sure. (and I should have been more clear, I am 99% sure he hasn’t been to confession, as right before I invited him he was telling me about his trip to Vegas earlier in the week.)

I am still curious though as hopefully he will come next week…

99% sure still doesn’t cut it. The fact is you do not know. You also do not know if he has committed any mortal sins which is all that would separate him from the Eucharist and need to be confessed.

Its really none of your business.

I do not tell anyone about when I go to confession. Not even when I go to see my spiritual director. It is no one’s business but my own.

 

[SMA_12]

As this individual the OP is speaking about is a Catholic one can in no way assume they are “ignorant”. Also the OP states that he does not know if the individual has gone to confession. As always, we can not make any sort of assumption as to the state of an individuals soul, so “admonish the sinner” does not work here either.

Now if you witness a Catholic commit a sin, you might say something but again, only mortal sin separates one from receiving the Eucharist and there really is no way for us to know that an individual committed a mortal sin as there are three conditions that must be met for it to happen.

1. 
   *]object is grave matter
   *]full knowledge
   *]deliberate consent
   
   In witnessing a sin you can only know number 1.
   
   Yes we can teach Catholics what is necessary but that is done in the context of teaching. Talking with a friend is not the place for this to occur unless they ask you about it.

1. 
   This is clearing things up now
   
   Thank you all for your help. Knowledge on this issue is of great value to me because I am trying to reach out to multiple students on my campus.
   
   God bless.

 

[englishredrose]

as he could have easily been to confession anywhere you do not know if he has been or not been. He could lie to you either way and you wouldn’t know.

Just let the matter rest with God

 

[salvete]

While you cannot make any assumptions about whether the person has been to confession, what if they are still living out their sin (living with another person to whom they are not married for example) and the person is a relative? Should you explain to that relative that they should not receive? Would you have an obligation to explain to that relative that they should not receive?

 

[englishredrose]

ONly if you want to offend the relative bearing in mind the opening poster claims another Catholic. Let the matter rest with God. It will be okay.

 

[Leon_Bloy]

Boy, this is a tough one I often struggle with. Some people do know better and go anyway. I don’t want to judge rashly, but I also don’t want to passively participate in any offense against Our Lord or a friend or acquaintance committing a (serious) sin.

If I am fairly certain about something being amiss, like seeing somebody eat right before mass or something, I sometimes say something… or if it is a family member, it’s a lot easier to speak candidly.

 

[justme]

If you truly are this way you would not last as my friend for very long.

All this reminds me of Holy Scripture.

Matthew 7:1-5
“Stop judging, that you may not be judged. For as you judg, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you. Why do yo unotice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove that splinter from your eye’, while the wooden beam is in your eye? You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye.”

 

[englishredrose]

Its not what any of you think that matters…

what matters here is between God and the individual. If the individual sees fit to do whatever in Mass then that is their issue with God, not yours. Yours is to take your own speck out of your eye first… whoever you are… once you have removed your speck then may be remove the speck from your ‘brother’ but not before. We are all sinners and should not judge others for what they do before, through and after Mass.

 

[Lutgardis]

As this individual the OP is speaking about is a Catholic one can in no way assume they are “ignorant”. Also the OP states that he does not know if the individual has gone to confession. As always, we can not make any sort of assumption as to the state of an individuals soul, so “admonish the sinner” does not work here either.

Now if you witness a Catholic commit a sin, you might say something but again, only mortal sin separates one from receiving the Eucharist and there really is no way for us to know that an individual committed a mortal sin as there are three conditions that must be met for it to happen.

1. 
   *]object is grave matter
   *]full knowledge
   *]deliberate consent
   
   In witnessing a sin you can only know number 1.
   
   Yes we can teach Catholics what is necessary but that is done in the context of teaching. Talking with a friend is not the place for this to occur unless they ask you about it.

1. 
   Totally right on

 

[ksrmarsh1]

These answers seriously baffle me.

If I have a friend that I know has fallen away and has probably not gone to confession - especially if I am aware of some of the things he or she is involved in, I should not say anything?

I’m sorry, but if this is my friend, then I will say something at least once.

I would say, “You know you have to go to confession before receiving if you’ve committed any grave sins right?”

Would you like to go to confession together before mass?

Or something like that.

If the friend says, “No, I’m cool”, then that’s up to him or her.

I would be doing my friend a grave disservice especially if he wasn’t even aware that he shouldn’t receive. Some people figure they can just ask for forgiveness in the pews.

Amen! We often forget that we are called to evangelize. To be politically correct and “mind our own business” seems to be the norm. But Jesus was NOT politically correct and does not ask us to be. If we love our brothers and sisters in Christ we will charitably and lovingly lead them down the path of righteousness. Choosing to follow is their responsibility but they should at least be loved enough by us to be given the option.

 

[ksrmarsh1]

If you had minded it a bit better you would have known these:
The 7 Spiritual Works of Mercy
To counsel the doubtful
To instruct the ignorant
To admonish the sinner
To comfort the sorrowful
To forgive all injuries
To bear wrongs patiently
To pray for the living and the dead

Yes! Love it! :clapping:

 

[ksrmarsh1]

As this individual the OP is speaking about is a Catholic one can in no way assume they are “ignorant”. Also the OP states that he does not know if the individual has gone to confession. As always, we can not make any sort of assumption as to the state of an individuals soul, so “admonish the sinner” does not work here either.

Now if you witness a Catholic commit a sin, you might say something but again, only mortal sin separates one from receiving the Eucharist and there really is no way for us to know that an individual committed a mortal sin as there are three conditions that must be met for it to happen.

1. 
   *]object is grave matter
   *]full knowledge
   *]deliberate consent
   
   In witnessing a sin you can only know number 1.
   
   Yes we can teach Catholics what is necessary but that is done in the context of teaching. Talking with a friend is not the place for this to occur unless they ask you about it.

1. 
   This is a very good point. Only God knows what is in someone’s heart. But at what point does it become our “responsibility” to lovingly and charitably inform. Thanks

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Amen! We often forget that we are called to evangelize. To be politically correct and “mind our own business” seems to be the norm. But Jesus was NOT politically correct and does not ask us to be. If we love our brothers and sisters in Christ we will charitably and lovingly lead them down the path of righteousness. Choosing to follow is their responsibility but they should at least be loved enough by us to be given the option.

Can you show us where the Church grants the authority to individual lay people to pass judgment upon others regarding their fitness for the reception of the Eucharist?

 

[ksrmarsh1]

Can you show us where the Church grants the authority to individual lay people to pass judgment upon others regarding their fitness for the reception of the Eucharist?

Not pass judgement but to give them or lead them to obtaining the information and then letting them make the final decision.

 

[Semper_Zelare]

Four months ago I got into an argument with my father. And somewhere along the line I told him that he had desecrated the Eucharist. I told him he couldn’t receive if he was in a state of mortal sin. And he asked me how I knew he had sinned (and I think he thought I was going to say bc of his divorces or something… it was that heated). But, I knew because he didn’t go to Church on several Sundays when I was home. And, I knew he didn’t confess because he’s leaving the Church to become a Methodist.

Anyways, I’m really sorry all of that happened. It never came up again. So I haven’t apologized to him for it. It wasn’t like I was waiting to throw that at him. It just came up… he started basically bragging about that he was a lot better Christian than most people that went to Church. And I got so angry that this came out.

I’m pretty sure the Sunday before this happened was the last time he went to a Catholic Mass. But, he was becoming Methodist anyways.

Is there anything I should do about this? I feel like my relationship with my dad has gotten a lot better since then. It’s actually very good atm. And, I’ve long since confessed all these sins. But I don’t know if I did the right thing. I certainly gave him full knowledge of at least invalidly receiving the Eucharist, even though I did so completely uncharitably.

Do you think I’m obligated to apologize to him even though it’s now proverbial water in the bridge?

 

[dnicoll]

Maybe it is my formerly Protestant tendencies coming out but I am horrified by the “ignore it” answer. One thing my RCIA class has taught me is that many people are hideously badly catechised. If no-one is prepared to ask the questions that no-one knows to ask then it is no wonder that we are stuffed. I may not be responsible for my neighbours responses to the questions asked, BUT if the questions aren’t asked then we partake in their moral culpability. If, on the other hand, our sensitive asking leads to repentance and faith then the whole of heaven will rejoice at a sinner saved.

 

[dnicoll]

Also worth looking at twotlj.org/G-2-4-E.html which covers the subject well.

" Vatican*II neatly formulates the prohibition against judging others: “God alone is the judge and searcher of hearts; for that reason he forbids us to *make judgments about the internal guilt of anyone” (GS 28; cf. S.t., 2–2, q.60, a.2, ad1). This norm, however, does not preclude judgments necessary for determining that one should try to dissuade others from committing sins or to encourage them to repent if they have sinned."

 

[Inego_de_Loyola]

Can you show us where the Church grants the authority to individual lay people to pass judgment upon others regarding their fitness for the reception of the Eucharist?

We are our brothers keeper. You ask what gives us the right to pass judgement; I answer that you are either setting up a straw man or you simply don’t understand what we are saying. I cannot judge even myself as St.Paul says, but I can judge actions. If my friend were bragging about scandalous details of his trip to Vegas I would not feel shy about informing him those actions were wrong, and if he went to church with me I would certainly remind him that those in sin should not receive. That is not judging him; that is informing him. It is a work of mercy to prevent the possibility that he should commit a sacrilege out of ignorance.