My son told us this morning he's joining the Marines

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Spyridon said:
Cussing and drinking alcohol are just parts of military culture which you and him will both have to come to terms with.

If foul language and drunkeness bother him much, the US Military is not the place for him.

Every place I was ever at, everyone from the lowly Airmen basics all the way up to the Generals cursed like sailors and drank like fish.
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On the swearing, I was told by someone in the Army that they can swear but they can’t swear directly at you; that is, they can’t say "You are a . . . "

Don’t know if the rule is the same in the Marines.
 
momof2angells said:
Do you mean separate in that they should be ok with drinking and cussing themselves to acclimate to the culture? I’m sincerely trying to understand.
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It’s okay. Ask all the questions you want. This thread is a nice distraction from work. 🙂

No, no one is going to make him drink and swear if he doesn’t want to. (Although, after he turns 21, he might feel a little left out on a Friday night when everyone goes to the bar, if he chooses not to drink.) It’s more like he has to be okay with other people doing it and not act all offended or scandalized. It’s not a culture that is going to have a lot of patience for him raising his hand and going, “Excuse me, I find that language offensive.” People are going to, at best, roll their eyes and go right on cussing a blue streak. He’ll just have to accept that things like dirty jokes and bad language are going to happen and not be too fragile about it, especially in a place like the Marine Corps.
 
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Oh I see. But he’s 18, ofcourse I don’t want him to learn to start drinking just to not be ostracized but is it even legal for him there?
 
Oh you said after 21 sorry. And thank you, my son has no problem with the cussing part, I’ve never heard him hardly but the video games, the music I know he listens to and he’s a reen. My concern is I just don’t want to him start drinking. Or learning to drink there
 
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Everything @BoomBoomMancini says about the Military so far on this thread is 100% spot on, I can personally vouch for all he has said as a US Air Force veteran myself.
 
If he was in a country where the legal drinking age is 18 he could drink.

If he is in the States he will not be legally allowed to drink before 21.

Personally, I was 19 and in the States, and I had no problem whatsoever finding Airmen who were over 21 to buy me booze.

I even got wasted with a couple of my tech school instructors at a casino hotel when I was in Biloxi, MS.
 
momof2angells said:
Oh I see. But he’s 18, ofcourse I don’t want him to learn to start drinking just to not be ostracized but is it even legal for him there?
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No, it’s not legal for 18 year olds to drink (unless he gets stationed in a country where it is legal for 18 year olds) but just like on college campuses, people find ways to get booze and have parties. Most of it is harmless fun but obviously it sometimes goes overboard.

But no, not drinking won’t mean he’s an outcast, provided he is relaxed about it. Like, if someone offers him a beer, the best thing to do would be to just smile and go, “No thanks, bro, I’m good.” as opposed to getting all worked up and freaking out. That’s more what I mean. He doesn’t have to indulge in any behaviors he finds morally objectionable, but he shouldn’t become the platoon scold and lecture everyone else. He doesn’t want to be perceived as fragile or overly sheltered.
 
Thanks, it sounds like you’re putting me in those scenarios and not my son with those responses. I hope he would respond that way in fact, just coolly decline , I just hope he doesn’t try to do harmful things to try to prove himself. Thank you
 
He will not be the child you are looking at ever again. You may never make peace with that fact, and you may even blame the Marine Corps. But ma’am, he will grow either way, slowly by way of school, or quickly by way of the military. If you served, and were a decent and quiet sweetheart beforehand, you know what was lost. I was once that boy but joined the Army. I’ll never recover who I was, but in some or even many ways, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I almost died homeless multiple times in my life, 3 times homeless, once with a newborn infant. The last and third time I almost died several ways on those streets, lost in a few deserts as well. If not for my military training, I might not have made it. Be happy that your son will be strong. There are many people who look and/or act it, but heck, I was a bum and still Hercules at the same time. See the movie “300” and that’s who your son will aspire to be for the rest of his days and nothing more.
 
On another note, his bedroom is right next to mine, and when he left for school this morning he opened his arms wide to give me a hug and say goodbye like he always does. I realized after he left that his room will still be the same since he can’t take anything with him. After doing some research last night, I saw that after boot camp he can be home a few days and then he’s off to training and then his room will be empty and no more live hugs for over a year possibly.
 
momof2angells said:
Thanks, it sounds like you’re putting me in those scenarios and not my son with those responses.
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Yeah, sorry about that. I’m just trying to explain what the culture is like. I understand your concerns and questions.
 
Robby_McCabe said:
Though you may join a long line of parents who have lost their children to war, and the horrors that come of such, comfort yourself with the fact that God rewards such altruistic self sacrifice, for to lay down ones life for God and country is the greatest love man can have.
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It’s fine to recognize this, but let’s not freak her out too much. The odds of him being KIA are pretty low, even if he goes infantry. It’s very, very likely that he’ll come through his military service just fine. Plus, it’s not like civilian life is risk free either. You can be hit by a bus in a crosswalk. Nothing is perfectly safe.
 
Thank you, I understand. I’m a mess because I know in my heart this is the best thing for him but as a mother not feeling his hug everyday, …
 
So they always come back different in such hard fashion. My son is not meek and weak, he is quiet but very independent. I love when I see him smile or laugh because it’s not all the time I see him joyous. He’s very reserved but still only 18 soon.
 
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Well, he will be 18. He is going of his own accord, so, you are not sending him.
 
The military, to those who embrace it, can never see the world the same way. A fight at every bend for our people. It isn’t the colors on the uniform or even the flags that fly so beautifully. Not the ruck marches or marksmanship. It’s about keeping the military values within. I hope he succeeds.
 
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Actually, he will be home and then off to training and can most likely be back home in about 6 months. I know that probably doesn’t sound much better, but it is. Depending on where he ends up being stationed, that will affect your ability to see him. There is a big difference between being stationed at Camp LeJeune in NC and being stationed in HI if you live on the east coast.
 
This is also a good time for your family to begin praying for the priests who serve our military men and women.


If you are able, maybe start supporting them with part of your stewardship?

Also, does your parish pray for their military men and women? Each week our bulletin has a box that says “Pray for our Military” and lists the names of all the parish family members who are in active duty. If your parish does not do this, perhaps you could get the ball rolling!
 
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