My son told us this morning he's joining the Marines

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This post is supposed to be about a mother’s concerns for her child, NOT chest thumping by old vets. Shame on you! USNA Class of 1979.
 
Thank you, my daughter is not taking this very well. Shes been crying. It’s just the two of them. She keeps saying her brother is her best friend. Shes 15 and so sad. Without him at home she will feel lonely. But, there’s nothing to be done except accept it, support him and show her to do the same.
 
BoomBoomMancini said:
He’s not wrong, especially if he picks an MOS that gives him an expertise that is marketable in the civilian sector. I know guys with nothing but high school diplomas who have great jobs at places like Boeing because when they were in the military they were trained to repair and maintain some highly specialized piece of equipment.
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My baby brother went into the Marine Reserves post 9/11, did two tours in Iraq during college (!), did officer training, transitioned to a desk job (hallelujah!), got out after about 14 years, and got a job right out of the military doing HR. He says it’s very similar (!). He has a wife and 3 kids, a house, and is in his 30s now. He also really struggled with the grades in high school, but did better in college (he met his future wife in college). A lot of boys need a year or two more to grow up to the point where they can deal with college.

I’m really delighted and impressed by how well he did transitioning to a professional job in civilian life.

Regarding the OP’s sis–she can do care packages, letters and phone calls as possible.
 
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BoomBoomMancini said:
Gotcha. Well, not to be a downer, but I’d tell him not to count on anything until he at least passes the medical exam. Lots of people who want to enlist can’t because of some medical issue that might seem trivial.
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Different deal, but when I was doing my Peace Corps application, I had SO much grief over a minor foot issue. It didn’t keep me from going overseas, but I had to demonstrate that it wasn’t a problem.
 
Maybe the early onset of empty nest syndrome can be quelled by adopting a child who needs help. If your mothering instinct is strong, which I believe it is, perhaps this will be a nice way to continue to mother.
 
hope said:
I was disturbed by this that my son might have been hungry. When I asked him, he said he never experienced hunger in fact he gained twenty pounds. He said no one he knew of was hungry that everyone had plenty to eat.
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I think a lot of the “hunger” is because unlike most Americans, no one is snacking. You’ll get three square meals a day (and if you’re eating MREs, they’re loaded with calories. You’ll be full…and constipated. 😉 )but you’re not going to be raiding the cabinets for some potato chips. Most people are accustomed to being able to do that, and think they’re starving, when really, they’re just getting the appropriate amount of calories instead of overeating.

Really, if I can wax philosophical for a second, the entire point of military training is to teach the person that they have more mental and physical strength than they think they do. The idea being that if they’re ever in an extreme situation, they’ll know they can push on despite being tired, or hungry, or cold, or afraid. That’s why in training they hit you like a ton of bricks early on. They want you to think, “Oh, man. I screwed up. I can’t do this. I’m not tough enough. I shouldn’t be here.” There’s a big sweaty man screaming in your ear that you’re the worst POS they’ve ever seen, and you believe him. (Even though you later realize he says that to everyone.)

Then you slowly come together as a team and start overcoming the obstacles they put before you. By the end, you’ve done all this stuff you never thought you could before. And that’s where the confidence comes in. He’ll know he’s capable and have the pride that comes with doing something difficult.
 
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Thank you. I know this question borderlines insane but…
I’m trying to reconcile being a devout Catholic and sending my son somewhere where they are shouting at him that he’s a ‘pos’.
I’m sorry but I’d be dishonest if I didn’t wonder about this no matter how embarrassing it is for me to ask.
 
momof2angells said:
Thank you. I know this question borderlines insane but…

I’m trying to reconcile being a devout Catholic and sending my son somewhere where they are shouting at him that he’s a ‘pos’.

I’m sorry but I’d be dishonest if I didn’t wonder about this no matter how embarrassing it is for me to ask.
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It’s all good. He’ll definitely hear some bad language in the military, there’s no question. How much this bothers you or him is up to you. Personally it never seemed like a huge deal to me. People swear. It is what it is.
 
Cussing and drinking alcohol are just parts of military culture which you and him will both have to come to terms with.

If foul language and drunkeness bother him much, the US Military is not the place for him.

Every place I was ever at, everyone from the lowly Airmen basics all the way up to the Generals cursed like sailors and drank like fish.
 
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I know, I meant the strange feeling I have as a Catholic sending him somewhere where they directly shout that to his face.
 
I’m sure it doesn’t bother him at all. With all due respect, my question must have been poorly done as I meant reconciling the two.
 
momof2angells said:
I know, I meant the strange feeling I have as a Catholic sending him somewhere where they directly shout that to his face.
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I don’t know. To me trying to create a bubble where you never hear bad language strikes me as sheltering too much. Like, trying to keep him as an innocent little kid forever. That’s just my take though.

The other thing you have to remember is it’s not just pointless cruelty. It’s designed to place him under stress for a reason. They’re not yelling at him simply to be jerks.
 
There is no reconciling the two.

You have to learn to separate between your faith and personal morality vs US military culture.
 
Ok. I guess I did a poor job of explaining what my question was really intended to ask. Sorry. I guess I’m just tired
 
Do you mean separate in that they should be ok with drinking and cussing themselves to acclimate to the culture? I’m sincerely trying to understand.
 
No, just that they shouldn’t let it bother them too much, not that they have to condone it or do it themselves.
 
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