jbsmith:
Thanks. I’m wondering, though: Does the Church teach that one can change his/her sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual? I’ve been doing some research about this, and my findings seem to indicate no. However, this man on EWTN last night claimed to have changed his (with God, of course). The host didn’t seem to disagree with this claim.
I will probably be told I am wrong by others on this board, but I feel I need to be truthful and let you know What I think about this. I found out about a year ago that 2 couples at church had their children ‘come out’. They handled it very differently. One couple accepted that their child had been born this way and tried to be supportive to her and love her regardless if they agreed with her life choices or not. The other couple are no longer on speaking terms with the child. I was very sad about this.
I grew up having a few homosexual friends. Of course, when we were younger, we didn’t know what ‘homosexual’ meant. But, they were always different. Since both of the guys names are Ryan, I will refer to them as Ryan1 and Ryan2.
Only one of these friends was Catholic,Ryan1, and he ended up leaving the faith because he wanted to live the gay lifestyle. Ryan1 was raised without a father. I have heard people talk about what makes people have SSA. Are they born with it? Is it sexual abuse, or neglect from early in life? Is it environmental in some other way? I think that all are true.
Ryan 2 was born to an intact Christian family. He even tried to be hetrosexual through HS and had a girlfriend and all. But after HS graduation, he came out in college and none of us were surprised.
I have also had friends who have tried on a homosexual relationship, just to see if it fit. They stayed in the gay scene because it was comfortable and they were used to it, but they also hooked up with the opposite sex and identified themselves as bisexual. I think in their cases, “deprogramming” like the ministry the guy on LOTR supported would work very well. But I do have a problem with counseling like that, just because I feel that not all gay people have it in them to live a hetrosexual lifestyle. Celibacy would probably be those other peoples best bet. I hope that ministries like that also touch on how a person who is unable to change their desires can healthfully live a celibate lifestyle.
The one family at church who are not speaking with their son believe that he chose to have SSA and he is in part doing it to hurt them. I could never believe this. Why would someone choose to live such a difficult lifestyle, with people who hate you and would hurt you because of it and be alienated from your family?
You had siad in your last thread that you were once engaged to a woman, that you truly loved her and could have been married with kids to her. Because you felt this way once, that is why I feel you could very likely feel this way again. I would think that SSA would still be a cross and temptation for you, I am sure it could be for many men who are married to women and identify themselves as hetrosexuals but still have SSA tendencies. Some people I believe are born with and/or develop a stronger SSA than others and they cannot have a meaningful hetrosexual relationship because there is no real attraction to the opposite sex. I feel bad for people who have to live with this cross, but it is worth carrying to get to heaven.
When I first heard about my friends kids, I started to look up what the church actually taught on homosexual relationships. It turns out that years and years ago, the Vatican had touched on it just a little and pretty much siad that some people are born this way, and some peope, for whatever reason, develop homosexual tendencies. From what I found they taught that it is a disordered state of human sexuality and that the desire in itself was not the sin, but the acting on it that was. From what I remember, the Vatican document was very compassionate did not have a real indication whether people could be “fixed” or not. It is a very popular idea, though, that people can be deprogrammed. Just because the priest who hosted the show believed that this was possible for every person with SSA to be completely straight, it doesn’t mean its the official church teaching. I will snoop around and try to find the original church document.
I just wrote you a book and need to get back to cleaning my house. I will talk to you again soon–Rebecca
