My wife left me a year and a half ago. Now my life is done in this regard

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I thought the whole point of the thread was that you were angry with God because you blame him for not stopping your wife leaving and you told me if you had a friend in the situation you would tell him to find happiness and marry anyway.

Not sure why you’re against them I thought that is what you wanted, to be able to find happiness again in a new marriage?
 
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@RolandThompsonGunner I do understand them, as I said, it’s just my personal point of view. As such, of course I have a bias.
 
MasterMacLeod82 said:
@RolandThompsonGunner I do understand them, as I said, it’s just my personal point of view. As such, of course I have a bias.
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But what’s your personal point of view based on? I’m not attacking you or anything, just trying to understand.
 
My personal point of view is that it is no better than a cheap cop out after researching he whole process. I’ll concede that I’m biased, but it’s merely that I cannot process it differently even though I have tried.

@T432 no thanks. Only for it to fail again? I have a close example. A cousin of mine is going through his THIRD marriage and he’s 35. His mom (my godmother btw) told me that I should try to do the same.

As you would expect, this triggered me instantly and I refuted with "I’m not your stupid kid"and stormed out.
 
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MasterMacLeod82 said:
My personal point of view is that it is no better than a cheap cop out after researching he whole process. I’ll concede that I’m biased, but it’s merely that I cannot process it differently even though I have tried.

@T432 no thanks. Only for it to fail again? I have a close example. A cousin of mine is going through his THIRD marriage and he’s 35. His mom (my godmother btw) told me that I should try to do the same.

*As you would expect, this triggered me instantly and I refuted with "I’m not your stupid kid"and stormed out.
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Actually, I wouldn’t expect a 38 year old man to be triggered to such an extent and behave like that to his Godmother and speak about her son like that. I hope you apologised to your Godmother afterwards. If you can get a annulment you would be free to marry and so her suggestion/option would be a valid one.

Anyways, for me I feel like it’s going around in circles this post and I have no other advice to offer. So I’m going to bow out. I sincerely hope like I said before you find the peace you desire.
 
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I know you are going through a tough time right now. Please pray because God is our only hope when we feel hopeless. There is a lot to look forward to in life because you are still young. Go talk to a priest or someone you can confide in. They might be able to help you. I know for me after I talk to a priest about my problems I always feel better. Spend some time at the adoration chapel. Go do things with a good family member or a friend. Read the bible. These are all suggestions. Good luck to you and God bless you. I will be praying for you.
 
An annulment isn’t about the freedom to marry again. That’s one “benefit” but not the purpose.
 
MasterMacLeod82 said:
My personal point of view is that it is no better than a cheap cop out after researching he whole process. I’ll concede that I’m biased, but it’s merely that I cannot process it differently even though I have tried.
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OK, so it’s not actually God or the Church who’ve left you with feeling you have no options. You’re choosing not to explore what options might be available to you through the Church. By saying that you disagree with the concept of decrees of nullity, you’re essentially saying you know better than the Church. I don’t think you can blame God for this.
 
I wouldn’t say I necessarily know better. But I know the exact same, the difference being based on ethics and ethics are personal.
 
MasterMacLeod82 said:
I wouldn’t say I necessarily know better. But I know the exact same, the difference being based on ethics and ethics are personal.
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I’m not sure what you mean by knowing “the exact same.” The Church certainly holds that there are cases where a decree of nullity is a reality. You are saying it is not, which is not in accord with the Church.

You can certainly choose not to have your marriage investigated – but then it seems a little unfair to blame the Church for not allowing you to have another relationship.
 
I mean the exact same as I had my share of canonical right studies and I have talked about this with the parish priest and some other priests informally. And in every single instance the result is the same.

So it might sound unfair but that’s life for one.
 
You strike me as somebody who needs some rest or a change in circumstances. For the rest, I would suggest being out in nature more. For a change, I would suggest taking a course at the university or exploring a new sport like tennis.

If I found myself in your shoes, I’d try the jobs where being single is a great advantage, such as working in intelligence (FBI), as a private investigator, or working in sales where you can travel. Or working longer hours so that your money could help an organization in desperate need of help. Or volunteering in the evening. Covid is a pain but the more money you can earn now, the better for when things get back to normal.
 
MasterMacLeod82 said:
I mean the exact same as I had my share of canonical right studies and I have talked about this with the parish priest and some other priests informally. And in every single instance the result is the same.

So it might sound unfair but that’s life for one.
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Again, your choice. I wish you all the best – may God grant you peace.
 
@Lara you nailed it right in the head, that’s exactly what I’ve started to do for a change.

@JulianN I hope so.
 
Hi @MasterMacLeod82

Echoing what others have said, it’s very sad to hear about your situation. May God be with you in this difficult time.

I want to touch on a few things you said.
MasterMacLeod82 said:
I never argued (unless I felt the argument was wrong)
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This sounds like you did argue with her then. Both sides, when they argue, tend to think the other is wrong.
MasterMacLeod82 said:
I don’t think we came into this world to carry crosses unfairly.
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Do you think Jesus’ cross was fair?
MasterMacLeod82 said:
Yes absolutely none. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t party, I don’t do drugs.
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How about sexual vices?

I would really try not to blame God in this. God loves you and he isn’t going to stop. I know sometimes he can seem far away, or like he doesn’t care. I’m sure many of us on this forum have felt that way. If your wife did leave unexpectedly out of the blue, as you say, then she is the one who made a poor choice and hurt you in the process. People are given freedom by God. Unfortunately sometimes they use that freedom to hurt others, or don’t think about just how much what they’re going to do is going to hurt somebody.

Did you folks really have no problems? Was there really no indication that your wife might be unhappy? Were things really going great and then it just suddenly happened, with the click of the finger?

I’m not suggesting you did something to cause, but sometimes when you look back there might be moments you missed, where your wife was suffering or took something very badly, and you didn’t realise it at the time.

Is she Catholic by the way?
 
Hello, @Polak let me answer by points:
  1. Oh yes occasionally, but I also never hesitate to admit when I’m wrong. In fact you could say I like to be demonstrated as such, as it allows me to improve.
  2. No, but then again I’m not Jesus and I’ll never get to be like Him no matter how much I try.
  3. No, neither sexual vices. I don’t find them to be interesting.
I had no problems with her. The only thing that I couldn’t avoid was that I had to leave home for work 2-3 days and then come back as we lived in a rural area and there was no work for me there, so I had to travel hours to the city. But I couldn’t help it, I did try to find work closer to no avail.

Finally, yes, we’re both Catholic.
 
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