Name something weird you heard in a homily

[Ceil-1]

distracted,

I suggest you read up on some of the saints. St. Francis deSales gives great advice on kindness. St. Therese of Liseux
is an expert. I have had some of the same problems. I am slowly learning that I am not responsible for everyone else’s behavior. I am learning to detach. I think that is the key.

Ceil

 

[Augustine]

… and that if we practiced what Ghandi taught…

Gandhi taught that the Hindu caste system was just and he abhorred Christians for treating pariahs with equal dignity. In other words, he’d probably agree with the motivation of the recent martyrdom of Christians in Orissa by his fellow Hindus.

No thanks.

 

[Bruno_Schulz]

**Let me tell you for change, what was great in a homily.

A priest said loudly down from his pulpit to the silently listening community on the evening before Christmas:

“Those of us, who did not yet reconcile with their next, are not in the state to celebrate Christmas!”
**

 

[JPUSC]

A newly-ordained priest in my former parish once began his homily on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception with the immortal words: ‘Mary was present at all the important events in Jesus’ life, even His birth’.

To this day I remember the wave of barely contained mirth that rippled through the congregation…

That doesn’t sound that funny. I mean, it’s true isn’t it?

my parish priest was saying a Mass with a small group of us in the presbytery and I am not sure whether it was in the homily or even what the context was, but he said that a Franciscan priest had once heard his confession and as a penance had told him to do 15 decades of the rosary. My parish priest said he replied “and you can go to hell”. He laughed as he said this, but none of us did.

If he’s a priest, he should’ve said “H…E…double hockey sticks”.

Heard in a weekday Mass homily by our then new pp “What is the one commandment that nuns and priests break everyday?”

Dead silence!

Father: “Increase and multiply and fill the earth”

Some laughed, others looked like fainting…

That’s not a commandment. Wow, the people who almost fainted were overreacting.

Last Sunday, the priest highly recommended “High School Musical 3” either during the homily or at the end of Mass. I forget when…he recommended another movie during Mass. I personally find that whole movie series to be very cheesy and laughable (I accidentally watched it while channel surfing, I swear). It was a pipe organ type of Mass intended for teens at a traditional parish, but the congregation was mainly composed of older people.

But then again, I’ve had an older parishioner recommend that I watch “Momma Mia!”

Another time at a different parish. One visiting priest’s homily was something about how everyone really isn’t that bad to merit eternal damnation and spoke against priests who talk about hell too much. In the next Mass, the priest’s homily was the opposite and I saw the other priest chuckling in his seat.

 

[Bruno_Schulz]

**We are Roman Catholics.
That means, all our statements about Christianity must be in the line of Rome.
We do have the Pope as most final theological doctrine.
We absolutely have to stick to this.

If we do not, than we will experience the same disastrous endless shisms that the very many protestant churches undergo for centuries. Who knows how many of them exist in the United States. They kept protesting ever since Luther and Henry the VIII.
The Church never could be a democratic institution,
just as heavens can’t be such, for “YOUR WILL BE DONE!” As Gods will alone is the right way. Ours is humble and mostly wrong.

Most of us are ever so glad we do have the pope, so we don’t have that mess of incompatible opinions in the Church, but ONE Church. Let’s remember, that Jesus founded but one Church on St.Peter and not a lot of clubs who might follow their own opinion and opening new private clubs - churches - one even more disastrous than the other.

By the way: This thread matches in a way the one here, where a poll is going on as to IS THE BIBLE CATHOLIC:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=252729&goto=newpost

**

 

[PJM]

Reply:

My dear friends in Christ,

I confess that I’m uncomfortable with today’s topic, because it opens up our precious priest to what I believe in unwarranted redicule, which from my lowly perspective serves no good purpose.

Recounting stories that are amusing is one thing, but recounting priest statements of error while truthful seem to serve no real purpose.

Any informed, practicing Catholic can likely recount such incidents. Let’s pray for them, take them aside and dicuss the matter in private, which take more courage and more love.

May I suggest that in Christian charity that we relate only humerous episodes?

God’s continued Blessing’s
PJM m.c.

 

[IronicCatholic]

Gandhi taught that the Hindu caste system was just and he abhorred Christians for treating pariahs with equal dignity. In other words, he’d probably agree with the motivation of the recent martyrdom of Christians in Orissa by his fellow Hindus.

:

I studied Gandhi was a while, and the man was abhorred by many Indians himself for working with the dalits, or “untouchables,” so I’m not sure where this is coming from. He also worked with some Christians directly for justice in India, and said he would have become a Christian if he ever met anyone truly living out the Sermon on the Mount.

Given he was against violence in every possible form, I simply cannot believe he would ever condone the activity in Odessa.

 

[jofa]

Reply:

My dear friends in Christ,

I confess that I’m uncomfortable with today’s topic, because it opens up our precious priest to what I believe in unwarranted redicule, which from my lowly perspective serves no good purpose.

Recounting stories that are amusing is one thing, but recounting priest statements of error while truthful seem to serve no real purpose.

Any informed, practicing Catholic can likely recount such incidents. Let’s pray for them, take them aside and dicuss the matter in private, which take more courage and more love.

May I suggest that in Christian charity that we relate only humerous episodes?

Oops - I completely repent of the story shared. I think I rationalized that since nobody knew the priest about whom I wrote then it didn’t count. God forgive me and help me to restrain tongue and pen!

 

[distracted]

I…I stood up and said “No, Jesus DID actually walk on water”. He was surprised, and all the white haired ladies turned to look at me. All I could think about was how this flock was being misled. It broke my heart. The priest argued with me telling me I was mistaken. I explained that I was a Catholic Theology graduate of a truly Catholic University. I explained to everyone that what he was claiming was not Church teaching, and then exclaimed “This isn’t a Catholic Mass!” and stormed out. I cried in the parking lot for a while. What a tragedy. (Oh, and I repented for any unintended sin in doing what I did because I wasn’t sure if it was right in God’s view).

i think it was totally right… and i wish i had the guts to do the same thing… I have heard priests say horrendous, heretical things… and have always… just… sat there…

You are an inspiration… Maybe i won’t just sit there next time…

Thanks…

 

[water]

I was living in AZ at the time, had 3 kids in diapers, one older, was overwhelmed and very lucky when I could get to mass on Sunday. One day I had the blessed opportunity to go to daily mass. I was still exhausted, but desperate to have the chance to go without the little ones and have some quiet contemplative time with our Lord.
Well, during the homily the priest (whom I didn’t know) walked down the aisle and started asking all the little old ladies if they thought Jesus really, literally, walked on water (that day’s reading). Thank God most of them nodded, as did I. Then he went on to correct all of us. According to him, the story is figurative representing this and that, etc. Now, keeping in mind my state of sleep depravation and the spiritual starvation I had been experiencing, I’ll hope y’all forgive me when I tell you what I did…I stood up and said “No, Jesus DID actually walk on water”. He was surprised, and all the white haired ladies turned to look at me. All I could think about was how this flock was being misled. It broke my heart. The priest argued with me telling me I was mistaken. I explained that I was a Catholic Theology graduate of a truly Catholic University. I explained to everyone that what he was claiming was not Church teaching, and then exclaimed “This isn’t a Catholic Mass!” and stormed out. I cried in the parking lot for a while. What a tragedy. (Oh, and I repented for any unintended sin in doing what I did because I wasn’t sure if it was right in God’s view).

Homily time is not for discussion and correction for the parishioners.

Let the priest do his job, it is not your job to do the homily. Homily is not for us to correct the priest. If he is in error, you should talk to him in private. If he is truly in error and continue to preach wrongly, you talk to the Bishop.

I understand your concern, but during those time, pray for the priest and continue to pray for him especially before mass time.

 

[tkdnick]

Oh I’ve got plenty…

I heard a whole homily about astronomy once. Absolutely no connection to God in the homily at all. Just 10 minutes of astronomy, which concluded with the priest informing us that the younger generation needs to find a way to move “space dust” so our satellites can see further into space.

Or how about this one? I heard a homily where the priest decided to equate God with a giant shark living at the bottom of the ocean with all the sea animals and everything that no one knew about. And this giant shark (God) decides one day to let the world know he exists. The thing that made this homily even funnier was when he was talking about all the sea creatures he mentioned jelly fish. And he said it like the sea turtle from Finding Nemo. At that point I was gone. I started quoting Nemo lines with the two high school girls sitting in front of me. I know I shouldn’t have, but I just couldn’t help it.

 

[Paul_Folbrecht]

I was living in AZ at the time, had 3 kids in diapers, one older, was overwhelmed and very lucky when I could get to mass on Sunday. One day I had the blessed opportunity to go to daily mass. I was still exhausted, but desperate to have the chance to go without the little ones and have some quiet contemplative time with our Lord.
Well, during the homily the priest (whom I didn’t know) walked down the aisle and started asking all the little old ladies if they thought Jesus really, literally, walked on water (that day’s reading). Thank God most of them nodded, as did I. Then he went on to correct all of us. According to him, the story is figurative representing this and that, etc. Now, keeping in mind my state of sleep depravation and the spiritual starvation I had been experiencing, I’ll hope y’all forgive me when I tell you what I did…I stood up and said “No, Jesus DID actually walk on water”. He was surprised, and all the white haired ladies turned to look at me. All I could think about was how this flock was being misled. It broke my heart. The priest argued with me telling me I was mistaken. I explained that I was a Catholic Theology graduate of a truly Catholic University. I explained to everyone that what he was claiming was not Church teaching, and then exclaimed “This isn’t a Catholic Mass!” and stormed out. I cried in the parking lot for a while. What a tragedy. (Oh, and I repented for any unintended sin in doing what I did because I wasn’t sure if it was right in God’s view).

Good for you.

It always seems to hurt a bit when we’re involved in conflict, or singled out as ‘different’ (you were probably part of a very small minority of those listening), but sometimes it’s the right thing to do.

 

[JPUSC]

Homily time is not for discussion and correction for the parishioners.

Let the priest do his job, it is not your job to do the homily. Homily is not for us to correct the priest. If he is in error, you should talk to him in private. If he is truly in error and continue to preach wrongly, you talk to the Bishop.

I understand your concern, but during those time, pray for the priest and continue to pray for him especially before mass time.

If the priest is teaching heresy, then I think he might have a reason to protest. I remember in that video of the Catholic Clown Mass in Oakland, one person stood up and shouted blasphemy while the priest and other parishioners scoffed at him.

If I was in a parish and the priest was saying that Jesus didn’t really walk on water, and no one corrected him, I’d take the priest’s word for it and be shocked and upset that the Bible stories I was taught were just metaphors.

 

[jofa]

Homily time is not for discussion and correction for the parishioners.

Let the priest do his job, it is not your job to do the homily. Homily is not for us to correct the priest. If he is in error, you should talk to him in private. If he is truly in error and continue to preach wrongly, you talk to the Bishop.

I understand your concern, but during those time, pray for the priest and continue to pray for him especially before mass time.

I think you’re right. If I’d had my head with me that morning I hope that I would have done as you suggested. You’re exactly right. That’s what Jesus would probably have us do.
God Bless.

 

[jofa]

If the priest is teaching heresy, then I think he might have a reason to protest. I remember in that video of the Catholic Clown Mass in Oakland, one person stood up and shouted blasphemy while the priest and other parishioners scoffed at him.

If I was in a parish and the priest was saying that Jesus didn’t really walk on water, and no one corrected him, I’d take the priest’s word for it and be shocked and upset that the Bible stories I was taught were just metaphors.

That’s what I had been thinking at the time, but perhaps I could have done things differently with better results. For example, what if I had waited outside for the people to leave (there were maybe 20 at that daily mass) and spoken up to them about what the Church really teaches, and later met with the priest and explained , with documentation, the same. I don’t think I should have put him on the spot because he is consecrated, and just as importantly, it interrupted the Mass. Oh, if I could only do it over again…

 

[distracted]

distracted,

I suggest you read up on some of the saints. St. Francis deSales gives great advice on kindness. St. Therese of Liseux
is an expert. I have had some of the same problems. I am slowly learning that I am not responsible for everyone else’s behavior. I am learning to detach. I think that is the key.

Ceil

we are not all called to be exactly like the saints… God made each of us unique and we are to use our unique talents in a special way… Saints have differing temperments… (had)…

Anyway… i have detached enough in some areas… too much in others… not enough in others… sometimes something needs to be said… If no one ever stood up for what was rgiht… well… Jesus stood up for right…

Look waht happened to him…

but we are to accept our crosses…

 

[Augustine]

I studied Gandhi was a while, and the man was abhorred by many Indians himself for working with the dalits, or “untouchables,” so I’m not sure where this is coming from.

He agreed that untouchables should exist and that they should be so by birth. He’d never sit on a bench which an untouchable had sit on. He was still very much a Hindu.

Given he was against violence in every possible form, I simply cannot believe he would ever condone the activity in Odessa.

That was a rhetorical statement, just like Ghandi’s statement about becoming a Christian. He never approved of killings.

 

[Bruno_Schulz]

**Shouldn’t we, rather than pronouncing what’s weird in this or that homily, announce what was great an helpful in a sermon?

If a priest really talks rubbish like we heard here, I’d call up loudly “NO! That’s wrong”. In the case of Jesus not walking on water – this is obvious. There are some more rather concealed things, the parish don’r notice right away.

Still – altogether it’s really terribly seldom, that a priest talkes foul matter, and rather than leaving it to God in praying for this misled person, we really ought to speak up to him and the matter. We can’t leave all to God and do simply nothing

Still. As here are a lot of sceptics reading, I’d suggest to rather pick out the great homilies, for surely and absolutely, they are the vast majority
**

 

[tkdnick]

we are not all called to be exactly like the saints… God made each of us unique and we are to use our unique talents in a special way… Saints have differing temperments… (had)…

Anyway… i have detached enough in some areas… too much in others… not enough in others… sometimes something needs to be said… If no one ever stood up for what was rgiht… well… Jesus stood up for right…

Look waht happened to him…

but we are to accept our crosses…

Actually, we ARE all called to be saints! Our Catechism says so:

1695 - “Justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God, sanctified . . . [and] called to be saints,” Christians have become the temple of the Holy Spirit.

Through our baptism we are called to a pure holiness (sainthood).

 

[plato3]

Interesting comments. The upside is that there was a priest for daily Mass. More and more there are fewer daily Masses and more daily Communion Services. Many parishes are lucky to have one priest. He needs days off and some vacation at times. Vocations are up in many foreign countries.A priest from Nigeria told me that hundreds are turned away from the seminary due to lack of space.Those priests who come here to serve us, are scandalized by the moral decay of our society.