Need God's Help and Guidance from this addiction

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needguidance99

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I am grateful to be here. I need help. I am in a bad place. I’m a fallen away Catholic. I have a Mom who is very devout catholic and she doesn’t really even speak to me anymore.

Here it is in a nutshell. I filed for divorce from my ex husband and father of my 11 year old son 3 years ago. VERY quickly I met a wealthy (at the time) doctor who swept me off my feet. He lived 2.5 hours away. I had a terrific career and I was the breadwinner for my family. However, all I did was work – and my ex was working his own business from home. I business I helped him build.

When the divorce happened - he was seen as the stay at home parent and the courts gave me 20 and him 80 custody. I was always working (like typical fathers).

I was so crushed. AND i had to pay child support. Within 6 months my doctor boyfriend proposed and said he wanted to “take care of me” and begged and EVENTUALLY demanded that I quit working in my son’s town and move to his home.

I did. But, soon he started telling me that since I quit my job he was not going to help with my legal bills or even my child support. I swiftly got a new job (started my own business too) and started making money. I was so scared he was in such huge control.

Long story short, during an argument one day I tried to leave the house. He wouldn’t let me go. He was so angry I wouldn’t hand over all of my paychecks. I kept pushing and he wouldn’t let me go. He was begging me to stay. He “accidentally” broke my finger and it required 3 screws in my hand. He didn’t mean to break it he says - but within 2 weeks or so he was telling me that if I didn’t hand over my paycheck that month he would make ME pay for my surgery out of my own pocket.

My doctor told me he had called in suspicion of abuse and for a few months I quietly worked with police. I was too weak to leave my fiance, but I knew something needed to happen.

He was arrested for breaking my bone and he was removed from his position at the hospital. I tried leaving him but I ended up going back. I was miserable without him. I went back and helped him out of the charges.

He still had to start his own practice and he’s not doing well. I continued to help him finacially. I gave him every dime I made. He controlled it all.

Then one night he was yelling at me at the restaurant (mad that I was delaying with a check) and when we went to leave in 2 cars he got pulled over. He believed I called the police. He left me that night. He left me with nothing. 2k in the account and I had just deposited 12k 2 days before.

He locked me out of the house and said I could have my belonging COD. I was devestated. I had to get an apartment – no furntiure and no credit cards. He cut them all.

I was HORRIFIED but I missed him terribly. I blamed myself for getting him arrested and causing all the problems. I went to therapy and i was starting to do better.
I was living near my son again and seeing him more often too. My ex gave him to me a lot to help me.

Then 3 months later – my fiance came back. Told me he loved me and missed me. And what happened? I went back.

Now, it’s been another 3 months. I am about to move back to his town and give up my apartment and support him again. I am terrified.

He currently won’t set a wedding date because he says his family and all his friends know how crazy I have been and won’t speak to me. My family and friends also think I’m nuts for going back. My family has again – disowned me.

he controls my time. I have no friends left – I can’t even have a glass of wine with girlfriends. He thinks they are “poisioning my brain”.

So I’m about to go back to supporting him. He says that I don’t have to – he won’t necessarily leave me - -but he will “do what he has to do to feed his family” (he has 3 older kids). I would also be paying his child support for the youngest 2 who live with thier mom.

I am at a loss. I am so down. I feel like I can’t live without him but i’m so scared of him leaving me again.

he says he didn’t LEAVE Me because of money – he left because he was 'scared of me" and that he believes I called the police on him on the road that night. BTW he wasn’t even ticketed!

So… here I come for help… I love this man. He does so much to be with me – even gives up days of building his own practice to travel with me for work…becuase he says he loves being wiht me so much. He says THAT shows his commitment more than marriage.

What advice would you give me?
 
Leave him. Apologize to your husband and son. Return to your faith.
 
Please call your parish and schedule an appointment with a priest ASAP. If you are not a parishioner at any parish, please call a local parish and make an appointment to speak with a priest there. Tell the priest what you have told us and ask him for guidance.
 
What advice would you give me?
In the title you call your relationship an addiction, so I’m sure you know what you should do - leave him. Move back to your home town where you hopefully have some emotional if not financial help.

I’ll pray for you.
 
I agree with the previous poster, leave him. If you feel you are too weak print off the post you posted here and see a counselor or therapist to help you discern why you would want to stay with a man who broke your finger, won’t let you have friends, and wants you to support his children financially.

May God grant you strength.

Mary.
 
Get counseling. Start your search tonight and take action this week. Go someplace safe. Start praying the rosary, and I mean tonight.
 
I have tried to leave a million times before. But I cave.

He literally shares location with me on my phone. He monitors my every move. I went for a walk at work and he knew Ana accused me of cheating!!
 
I have tried to leave a million times before. But I cave.

He literally shares location with me on my phone. He monitors my every move. I went for a walk at work and he knew Ana accused me of cheating!!
If you really want to be safe, leave now & don’t take anything - especially not your phone! If you don’t know a safe place to go, go the the emergency room of your local hospital - they will know how to advise you.
 
I have tried to leave a million times before. But I cave.

He literally shares location with me on my phone. He monitors my every move. I went for a walk at work and he knew Ana accused me of cheating!!
Toss that phone. Cancel it. Get a new one on a new plan.

Leave him. He’s an abuser. Whatever he says, those are not the actions of a man who loves you. He is using you, abusing you, and you cannot fix him. Do not move back to his town. The relationship is not healthy and is harming you.
 
He drove 3 hours to see me today Because I was working out of town. He said he just wanted to be with me.

He clearly wants to make this work but my fear is that he just isn’t capable.

Part of the reason I came here is because I wanted some sense of fear or something that would shake me.

I love him And even when he was horrible to me and going no contact…I was like a drug addict in terrible pain. My mom was here for a few days for an unrelated event and she was helpful. But when she went home, she never called me back. I told her I needed someone to keep me strong. She disappeared

I am so angry. I’m angry and my mom. My sister and now my fiancé… I know all of THIS is my fault. But I have no support system. That’s why I came here.

How do I get the strength?!
 
How do you get yourself to WANT to leave? I crave his attention. His texts. His constant interaction.

He’s not going to kill me. But I will say that my emotions are not holding up well. My biggest fear is losing my job. It’s not the amazing career I had and left for him but I am actually making more money. I’m making VERY good money. But I see how people look at me. They think I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I am too paranoid?
If you really want to be safe, leave now & don’t take anything - especially not your phone! If you don’t know a safe place to go, go the the emergency room of your local hospital - they will know how to advise you.
 
How do I get the strength?!
Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life.

If you don’t have a Bible, buy one at the local bookstore.

I also agree with with all of the other posters have said, especially with leaving, getting to a safe place, and also getting rid of your cell phone. Buy another cell phone.
 
This is not your fault. It isn’t.

I hope that others with more direct experience can guide you. I of course recommend prayer, especially though rosary, though I know you say you are fallen away (you are welcome at Church any time, whether your faith is strong or not, whether your remember the liturgy or not. you are welcome to sit with Jesus at perpetual adoration, too). I will keep you in my prayers as well.

Jesus loves you.
The Blessed Virgin loves you. Blessed Virgin Mary, pray for needguidance99.
All the angels and saints love you, too. All the angels and saints, pray for needguidance99.

:signofcross:
 
Please hear me out. I sound awful. But I feel like God is gone from my life. I feel grateful for my job etc but my family and friends are gone it seems.

My son is cold to me. I feel like I’ve lost him already. I struggle.

I have apologized to my ex. I left him for a reason. But I still wanted him to know my heart. He is kind. But wants nothing further than money (it’s always been that way).

I just feel so tired. Alone. And that God can’t keep me calm through leaving him. When we split last. I was a wreck. And HE left me. I don’t know how to keep the strength if I leave HIM.

Why am I so weak?!
 
Every word you write makes it clear you yourself know you should not be with this man.

DO NOT GO BACK TO THIS MAN

You’ve not even written about such negative issues with you husband. From what you write you’d be better off begging to get back with him than the doctor guy! You should go back to where you can see your son if you can, anyway. He deserves your love more than Doctor Doom, and is more likely to give you your love back, by the sounds of it, although it sounds like you abandoned him, sadly for both of you. You can only make it better…

It sounds like you are also one of those capable people who can make financial something out of nothing (more than me!) so use that somewhere AWAY FROM THIS PARASITE DOCTOR. He is your biggest financial worry - sounds like you’ve got a gift - use it to get AWAY FROM HIM. Doctors are usually loaded… why does he need this money? Sounds like a control freak. Don’t let him control you!

You have obvious strengths - use them to help you escape your weaknesses. 👍
 
He says because of the charges related to my finger his hospital didn’t renew his contract. However 2 years before I met him they didn’t renew him Ana he BEGGED and they took him back with a 50k salary cut.

But again he says it was my fault.

He has zero personal income. Now. All goes to keeping his office open.

But I do believe he will. E back to making great money soon. But when?

And yes I will be giving every dime. And he just told me that includes paying his child support and the health insurance of his 22 year old daughter who has a job.

He says they all hate me. They won’t speak to me. So I’m supposed to pay their bills and they won’t even speak to me?
 
He says because of the charges related to my finger his hospital didn’t renew his contract. However 2 years before I met him they didn’t renew him Ana he BEGGED and they took him back with a 50k salary cut.

But again he says it was my fault.

He has zero personal income. Now. All goes to keeping his office open.

But I do believe he will. E back to making great money soon. But when?

And yes I will be giving every dime. And he just told me that includes paying his child support and the health insurance of his 22 year old daughter who has a job.

He says they all hate me. They won’t speak to me. So I’m supposed to pay their bills and they won’t even speak to me?
The things he is telling you are just nonsense and insane. He has no right to control your finances. The doctor has no right to ask you to pay child support or health insurance for his children. He is responsible for those things. Not you. His situation is not your fault and is not your responsibility.
 
He has told me that. But says since I offeeed at one point he depends on me. Now he says if I back out …he Won’t necessarily leave me but he will “do what he has to do to feed his family”. Of course he doesn’t mean me.

I want to give and help…but to his daughter who won’t even acknowledge me?! He says I need to be patient because she saw that I put him in jail unnecessarily
 
It sounds like he came back for your money, and is now trying to emotionally coerce the money out of you. You are not responsible for it, and this is not a man acting in love for you. These are not the actions of a man who respects you.

needsguidance, I am heading off to sleep for tonight. I don’t know what time it is where you are, but if it’s late, I suggest trying to rest, too. I will keep you in my prayers.
 
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