Need ladies' input

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I feel like there is a way to express our gifts such that this young lady will understand that the Church is more pro-woman than any institution.
The Church is not “pro-woman” IMO. Quite the contrary.

Jesus was, however.

As for marriage: people in marriage need to love one another. Love is not a feeling, it is putting the other first. People in marriage need to* respect *one another. Which means understanding and acceptance, not trying to change each other.

Also, unless she is under the age of 18, she is a woman, not a “young lady.”
 
Well, so here am I. A thirtyish single man, on the one hand very conservative in some matters, on the other hand without trying to turn the course of time backwards, and with short patience for obstructive societal conventions with poor rationale.

So firstly, yeah, the man’s the head of the family. This is responsibility and not an entitlement. In fact, if you are the leader, you have a conflict of interest when you need to choose between what you want and what a person in your charge wants. And you will often end up not getting what you want simply because you’re the leader, not despite it. A woman can throw all her charms and tantrums and play unfair all she wants to sway the decision her way, .
I stopped reading here.
 
The Church is not “pro-woman” IMO. Quite the contrary.

Jesus was, however.

As for marriage: people in marriage need to love one another. Love is not a feeling, it is putting the other first. People in marriage need to* respect *one another. Which means understanding and acceptance, not trying to change each other.

Also, unless she is under the age of 18, she is a woman, not a “young lady.”
Christ and Christ’s Church is pro woman. Some who form part of the Church are not, do not give women equal respect. Unfortunately, there are some women who themselves would rather women be regarded as not so equal persons.

I agree totally on what you say about marriage.

He may have been referring to th original post where the OP referred to a’young lady’.
 
I stopped reading here.
I’m sorry to hear that whatever I wrote caused you grief but your comment is not necessary. You’re free to ignore my views based on my age or marital status or specific sense of humour or any combination of it, however.
 
Severus, while neither the husband nor the wife is to behave like a slave owner (using the other for his own interest) or boss in a commercial enterprise (handing out tasks, supervising the career path, performing quarterly assessment, handing out promotions and pay rises) or military superior (handing out strict, absolute commands, drilling etc.) or monastic superior (guiding the conscience, compelling through a vow of obedience etc.), it very clearly says in St. Paul’s letters that the husband is the leader. Yes, the example is Jesus Christ who washed the feet of His apostles and died for us all on the cross. Yes, we should “submit to one another”, be accommodating and cooperate rather than being egoists unwilling to step down from any right or cut slack with any obligation, we should serve each other. But we cannot say that the husband is not to lead.

It is definitely not a good idea to focus on the husband’s leadership role in the sense of his being able to force a decision which the wife would be obliged to comply with despite not agreeing with it. There are better ways of telling what a marriage should look like and what it’s all about. Anybody who thinks about drilling, commanding etc. is simply not getting it. (As well as anybody who thinks the husband is entitled to get his way simply put.) However, we can’t say that the husband is not to lead or is not the head of the household. St. Paul’s letter give a very clear contrary impression.
Christ 's humility should be emulated by all, men and women. St Paul said more than what is always quoted on these threads. I take the position taken by John Paul II.

Sugaring the position you take will not make it more acceptable to me, I am afraid. A wife subject to the authority of her husband has a lower position and is not equal however well she is treated by her husband.
 
Christ 's humility should be emulated by all, men and women. St Paul said more than what is always quoted on these threads. I take the position taken by John Paul II.

Sugaring the position you take will not make it more acceptable to me, I am afraid. A wife subject to the authority of her husband has a lower position and is not equal however well she is treated by her husband.
Then you will need to take issue with St. Paul, I’m afraid (Ephesians, chapter 5):
  • [22] Let women be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord: [23] Because the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He is the saviour of his body. [24] Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things. [25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it:*
drbo.org/chapter/56005.htm
 
Then you will need to take issue with St. Paul, I’m afraid (Ephesians, chapter 5):
  • [22] Let women be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord: [23] Because the husband is the head of the wife*, as Christ is the head of the church. He is the saviour of his body. [24] Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things. [25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it:
drbo.org/chapter/56005.htm
Well what about what John Paul II had to say about it?
 
May be of interest:

“Within the revised liturgy that followed in the wake of the Second Vatican Council, the preface entitled “Joseph, Husband of Mary” in the Roman Missal refers to St. Joseph as the head of the Holy Family, a position entrusted to him by the Lord. The second reading for the Feast of the Holy Family, the paradigm for all Christian families, is Colossians 3:12-21, which includes these verses (18-19): “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” The Divine Office (or “Liturgy of the Hours”), also revised after Vatican II (November 1, 1970), takes as the first reading for the Office of Readings on the Feast of the Holy Family, Ephesians 5:21-6:4.”

About John Paul II:

"During a homily given in Terni, Italy, early in his pontificate (March 19, 1981), the Pope considers the virtues of St. Joseph, whom he identifies as the head of the Holy Family. Joseph bore excellent witness to the fact that “the family rests on the dignity of human fatherhood–on the responsibility of the man, husband and father, as also on his work.” The Pope encourages all fathers to look to Joseph as an example, but he also points out that all earthly fatherhood finds its ultimate source and model in God the Father.

In Familiaris consortio (November 22, 1981), Pope John Paul II reiterates the perennial teaching that the father is responsible for the unity, stability, and spiritual well-being of the family. The Pope addresses the authority of the husband in these terms: “In revealing and in reliving on earth the very fatherhood of God, a man is called upon to ensure the harmonious and united development of all the members of the family.”
~familylifecenter.net/article.asp?artId=185

John Paul II did a lot to encourage recognition of the dignity of women, and made it very clear that men are not supposed to dominate and control their wives. However, he never said that men are no longer considered head of the family.
 
oooh every fiber of my horrifically feminism-hating being wants to be aaall over this thread…
 
Christ 's humility should be emulated by all, men and women. St Paul said more than what is always quoted on these threads. I take the position taken by John Paul II.

Sugaring the position you take will not make it more acceptable to me, I am afraid. A wife subject to the authority of her husband has a lower position and is not equal however well she is treated by her husband.
That depends on YOUR idea of equality. Being “on the same level” or “the same as” my husband would make me horrible INEQUAL to him, because while HE is living up to his God given role, I would be REJECTING mine. Being equal in earthly standards of money or power isn’t the same as being equal in Gods plan, and I believe Gods plan for women is to be under the authority of their husbands. THAT is where I acheive what I was meant to, with my husband as leader. Making us equal .

Granted, this is from the woman who would rather just go bakc and live in the 1870’s, soot and crackpot physicians and questionable food preservation and all. So take whatever I saw with this knowledge.
 
That depends on YOUR idea of equality. Being “on the same level” or “the same as” my husband would make me horrible INEQUAL to him, because while HE is living up to his God given role, I would be REJECTING mine. Being equal in earthly standards of money or power isn’t the same as being equal in Gods plan, and I believe Gods plan for women is to be under the authority of their husbands. THAT is where I acheive what I was meant to, with my husband as leader. Making us equal .

Granted, this is from the woman who would rather just go bakc and live in the 1870’s, soot and crackpot physicians and questionable food preservation and all. So take whatever I saw with this knowledge.
Who is talking about money? Wanting to have power is so Christian for men or women?

I have no issue with you living your life and marriage as you want, just do not push your views on me thank you.

You could go and live in a 1870s style community. I believe there is/was a 18th century style one set up. Then there are the Amish etc.
 
Christ and Christ’s Church is pro woman. Some who form part of the Church are not, do not give women equal respect. Unfortunately, there are some women who themselves would rather women be regarded as not so equal persons.
There used to be a Catholic forum where we distinguished between the Church, as a complete spiritual/physical entity, body of Christ, and what we called the cRCC, the “corporate Roman Catholic Church” as in the fallible persons the earthly Church comprises. I thought it saved a lot of misunderstanding.

For myself, I do not find the cRCC or pro-woman at all. But I don’t care that much as I find it a reflection of culture. It is what it is.

The Church is an entirely different matter, of course.
 
There used to be a Catholic forum where we distinguished between the Church, as a complete spiritual/physical entity, body of Christ, and what we called the cRCC, the “corporate Roman Catholic Church” as in the fallible persons the earthly Church comprises. I thought it saved a lot of misunderstanding.

For myself, I do not find the cRCC or pro-woman at all. But I don’t care that much as I find it a reflection of culture. It is what it is.

The Church is an entirely different matter, of course.
I can appreciate what you are saying.
 
oooh every fiber of my horrifically feminism-hating being wants to be aaall over this thread…
Syri, did you happen to read the first two (and now only) installments in the Christ the Lord series Anne Rice wrote before she walked out the the Church again in a huff?
 
Should I ever marry again, I will gladly permit my husband to be the head. I shall be the neck. In that way, he can feel important, and I can turn him any which way I so choose, as women have done since the beginning of time.
 
I’m sorry but a whole document won’t work. If you want to claim that this document somehow goes back on whatever St. Paul wrote, I need a specific quote. Please show me where exactly it says the man is not the head of the family or is not the leader or the family does not have any leader or something of the kind.
 
I’m sorry but a whole document won’t work. If you want to claim that this document somehow goes back on whatever St. Paul wrote, I need a specific quote. Please show me where exactly it says the man is not the head of the family or is not the leader or the family does not have any leader or something of the kind.
“The author of the Letter to the Ephesians sees no contradiction between an exhortation formulated in this way and the words: “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife” (5:22-23). The author knows that this way of speaking, so profoundly rooted in the customs and religious tradition of the time, is to be understood and carried out in a new way: as a “mutual subjection out of reverence for Christ” (cf. Eph 5:21). This is especially true because the husband is called the “head” of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church; he is so in order to give “himself up for her” (Eph 5:25), and giving himself up for her means giving up even his own life. However, whereas in the relationship between Christ and the Church the subjection is only on the part of the Church, in the relationship between husband and wife the “subjection” is not one-sided but mutual.”

It is interesting how he went back to Genesis.
 
I’m having a bit of a headache after reading it but I still don’t see how it waives the husband’s headship of the family.
 
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