No longer a Roman Catholic

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reen12:
Good morning, Scarlet,

I didn’t think that you sounded harsh at all.
I think that what you said was down to earth, and
reflected the reality of what constitutes maturity.

Maybe the following will convey my
reality:

I oversaw the care of my father, who had
schizophrenia, from age 19 to age 44.

I then segued into caring for my mother,
who has Altzheimer’s and who can no
longer even stand up.

I didn’t even have the luxury of irresponsiblity,
since reality arrived at my doorstep at an
early age.

I’ve spent my life caring for and about
people who have sizable limitations
in their lives.
I have used my intellect to intervene on
behalf of people who cannot care for
themselves.

And I have done this with the heart of a
six year old.

It’s time that I did something that will
soothe the heart of that little part of me,
that still moves and has her being in
“the Supreme Being that made all things.”

For me, that means moving among people
who relate soley to God the Father.

Thank you for taking the time to repond
in so thoughtful a manner to my original
post,

God bless you, Scarlet,
reen12
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Hi Maureen,

I’m so glad you didn’t view my message as harsh. It would have devastated me if you did. I believe you will be looked upon most favorably by God for keeping his command to honor your mother and father. You love God and there is no doubt in my mind of that.

You said,
“For me, that means moving among people
who relate soley to God the Father.”

I’m not sure exactly what you mean by that statement, Maureen. Do you mean interacting with people whose belief is soley in the unity of “one” God and not trinitarian? There’s several groups of people that come to my mind that might fit that description. I have experience with a few groups that would fit that description. And even though the ones I’m thinking of are absolutely wonderful people, there’s also some downfalls to living in a way that is non-committed to these particular communities. Believe me, I have experienced these things.

Or do you mean something else? Who exactly are you referring to?

Love,
Scarlet
 
I will pray for you too.

I know someone very close to me who suffers from depression and it is a very difficult thing to deal with. She has suffered from it all her life and I know it has led to problems with her faith.

Always remember God loves you. He loved Jesus when he was suffering on the cross.

But he needs to let us live our lives.

Psalm 22 always reminds me of this.
A psalm of David.

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why so far from my call for help, from my cries of anguish? …
 
Reen12,

Sometimes we have to take our own journey to discover God. Please know that whenever (if ever) you decide to return, He (and we) will be waiting to embrace you on your return home.

:crying:

Maranatha
 
So sorry to hear about you leaving the Church, I left too about 30 years ago. I had to decide for myself where the Truth really was. I had been Catholic for 15 year prior but that was as a child. Like you, I was bought up in the faith and never knew anything esle.

It took me 10 years to return, and it was fear that brought me back. While away I was never sure if God would forgive me for not being Catholic anymore. I was not sure if Jesus was some myth or if the Church was where I belonged. At one point I started to buy in on some of the anti-Catholic propaganda.

I believe God led me back to His Church, and I am really glad He did.

Just remember that God never abandons anyone. Always remember to pray. You know you can love God with all your heart with all the simplicity of a 6 year old within the Church just as easily (if not more so) as from outside.

May you always go with Christ’s Peace and blessings.

WC
 
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reen12:
Hello, Forum Members,

To avoid even the possibility of unintentionally
offending in my posts, I will have to state that I no longer
can be considered a Roman Catholic.
I am grateful to those who raised me for demonstrating

piety, inculcating the beauty and dignity of adoring

God, the importance of prayer and the obligation to care

for the needy. [Summarized in the "Spiritual and

Corporal Works of Mercy"…beautiful statements.]

And to my fellow Catholics,

Pray for me, as I will for thee,
That we may merrily meet in heaven.

And, if the faith that we once held in common
reflects God’s plan, then you are blessed.

Maureen [reen12]
Click to expand...
Why did you leave and where did you go?
 
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reen12:
Good morning, Scarlet,

I didn’t think that you sounded harsh at all.
I think that what you said was down to earth, and
reflected the reality of what constitutes maturity.

Maybe the following will convey my
reality:

I oversaw the care of my father, who had
schizophrenia, from age 19 to age 44.

I then segued into caring for my mother,
who has Altzheimer’s and who can no
longer even stand up.

I didn’t even have the luxury of irresponsiblity,
since reality arrived at my doorstep at an
early age.

I’ve spent my life caring for and about
people who have sizable limitations
in their lives.
I have used my intellect to intervene on
behalf of people who cannot care for
themselves.

And I have done this with the heart of a
six year old.

It’s time that I did something that will
soothe the heart of that little part of me,
that still moves and has her being in
“the Supreme Being that made all things.”

For me, that means moving among people
who relate soley to God the Father.

Thank you for taking the time to repond
in so thoughtful a manner to my original
post,

God bless you, Scarlet,
reen12
Click to expand...
Maureen;
** The very way you word this post shows that you believe in the Trinity when you say that you want to associate with people who “relate solely to God the Father.”**
I have lived with disability my whole life. It did not make me examine the Almighty with the mind of a child…St. Paul says "when I was a child, I spoke as a child, I did as a child, I acted as a child. But when I became a man I put away childish things."
The things you did are a testimony both to your maturity and an indwelt sense of justice and mercy within you. They are a sign of God’s grace working within you Maureen!
Putting away the “things of a child,” I would challenge you to put on the adult “Armor of God,” and open your heart to a very grown up Christian faith, which we are called to embrace as adults, but with the faith of a child.
 
Maureen –

Trust in God to lead you where He wants you to be. Have you asked Him? Give Him time to show you – to reveal Himself to you, He who is Truth.

This is not a decision to be made quickly or to be taken lightly. Know that you have the prayers of so many of us here who have taken similar paths and want to spare you of the sorrow of leaving His Church. Yet, we all take our own spiritual journeys and maybe being without Jesus for awhile will make you appreciate Him all the more!

God bless you and guide you.
 
So what are you doing leaving? After that list of all that help you did it seems like only a few years before sainthood. Dont trip at the finish line.

I read all the other posts and I have two things to say.
The first is about the Jews. A few months ago I went through a big time of doubt about how God related to nonJews on these forums. In looking through a lot of the OT I came to the conclusion that God slammed the door on the rest of the world, the only thing He cared about was the Jews. It seemed as if I was trying to access a God who was reserved for only a chosen people, and as a result I didnt really have the so called relationship with God via prayer and what not. I really struggled with that doubt, but I waited it out and it worked itself out.The truth is that they are an exclusive group whom God personally chose, but that doesnt mean that the rest of us are any less valuable in His eyes. Jesus told us to do the things you spent you life doing helping out people, you will be consoled now and rewarded later.

I hope you dont take offense to this, but I think you are hiding something. Tell us please, we know you only through these forums, and we know that you are not joking around on this, and are very serious.
Something had to be the last straw, was it a death or something? At your age the hard parts of life should be behind you. For what was it 47 years did you never really believe in Jesus or something? What will your children think? What makes you turn towards the Jews, you obviously didnt turn your back to God? It cant be a mental disorder, because you are more on task than most of us.

You really do want us to help you thats why you made such a statement in the Title, so let it out please. There are great people here who can help. What about all those stories of Christian communities helping eachother, this is the 21st century version of that. Most of us dont think your getting sucked into another religion, from what I see its an internal battle.
God inspired this thread so that we could help you through this, He gave you this chance to let it out. Someone said confession, I agree, but not confession to a priest, nor because of sin, but an outward confession to us. So we can target the trouble spot and help you.
 
Dear Maureen,

May God bless you. I feel for you and pray you find the peace you seek. It sounds as though you crave simplicity. I’m reminded of The First Commandment that Jesus gave us: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength”. It appears as if that is your endeavor and desire.

I applaud you for being true to your own conscience and attempting to serve God by first, attempting to live out this Greatest of Commandments. Speaking as a weary traveler who finally found peace in the arms of Christ’s true church, I wish you Godspeed on your journey with quiet confidence that you will one day re-embrace the faith your childhood.

May God’s love be with you and guide you.
 
Dear CatholicDude,

You’re right, of course.

What I am holding back is something that I don’t
think one in a hundred people would understand,
and maybe not even that many.

Are you familiar at all with the term “dissociation”?
This is created within a
human being when they are so traumatized as
a child, that that “part” of them “checks out”
and never matures with the rest of the self.

If you read some of the other threads that I’ve
posted to, the perceptive person would detect
that it’s like two different people are present,
sometimes consecutively.

I hope that I have demonstated that a person
undergoing this experience can be highly
rational, courteous, well-read and thoughtful.

But there is no room in me for talk of hell-fire,
because the younger “part” of me becomes
terrified. This younger “part” of me can’t
keep up. So maybe God will let me
hide behind His robe, knowing that I can’t
keep up.

I once went to a service for the Anointing of
the Sick. The priest spoke warmly of the
courage it takes to deal with physical illness,
but not one word on mental suffering. I sat
there with the tears rolling down my face and,
as I look back, that was probably the moment
when my “exodus” began.

Maybe somebody will read this and understand.

Thanks, CatholicDude.
reen12
 
Dear Todd,

Hello, fellow weary-traveller. My heart rejoices
that you have found inner peace.

God bless you,
reen12
 
Hi Maureen –

I do understand, to some degree, your struggle with disassociation. Several years ago I suffered neurological damage due to pesticide overexposure. As such, I often feel disassociated, like I’m watching my life instead of experiencing it. I also experience “brain fog” where my mental processes slow incredibly, and short term memory loss as well.

Please don’t let one priest’s lack of mentioning emotional and mental anguish turn you away from the entire Church. There are many who understand your pain, and wish to help you through it**. Maybe you are being called to educate others so they don’t feel isolated as you do.**

I spoke recently on redemptive suffering at our Church as part of our Lenten soup suppers. While it was difficult to share my journey at times, I feel strongly that part of the reason we go through our suffering is in order to help others through similar situations.

Jesus understands. He went through persecution, mockery, betrayal, abandonment. He must have been completely exhausted mentally and spiritually during His Passion. Lay your burdens at the foot of His cross, join your suffering with His, and He will do great things in your soul!

Mother Teresa used to tell her sisters “Love until it hurts. It hurt Jesus to love us.”

You are being called to offer your suffering for the benefit of others – don’t waste it!
 
Hello, Didi,

What a wonderful reply! I went downstairs to have
a glass of soda with my husband and our cat
[well, the cat didn’t have soda, but we did!] and
I came back to our computer room, fearful of
finding lack of comprehension.

I’m so sorry that you’re having these experiences
due to pesticide over-exposure. And, yes,
I know what it feels like to sense that you’re
looking at your own life from the “outside.”
I think it may be called derealization. When you
have the same estranged feeling from yourself,
it’s called depersonalization.

You’re right, Didi. Maybe the most
cogent reason for why I started this thread was
unknown to me. It is a cri-de-coeur to the
people I have spent my life among to understand
that there are many people who either
experience mental distress or have a loved one
who does…and nobody wants to talk about it,
mostly because no one wants to say something
inadvertently hurtful on experiences they know little about.

I once thought about writing a book of prayers for
those who try to relate to God in the midst of
clinical mental suffering.

I think of the isolated feeling as a form of
“there’s no room in the inn.”

You have lifted my heart, Didi.

reen12
 
I will admit I am not part of the one in a hundred that is in your shoes, nor can I fully understand what you are going through.
I just dont see where abandoning your Lord and Savior comes in to play. Your not enemies your close friends with Jesus. God would never allow you to hide behind His robe. Thats what Jesus is for, we dont hide from God, He knows our hearts, He stands by us with confidence and pride in us. The hardest part is waiting it out.

About the mental suffering: The priest didnt do that on purpose, mental suffering is not something that the average person is thinking about. I might not understand your specific illness, but I have a story to tell as well.
My older brother was a baby during a war and he grew up in a mental state kind of like what you describe. He experienced something that made him not grow up as normal people do. He is a child at heart, he has no concept of whats goin on around him. If you looked at him you wouldnt see anything wrong. He is actually very smart in certain subjects and can carry on a coversation with people about them. He can fix almost anything, install anything, repair cars, etc, but if you ask him to add fractions or write a paper its like you asked the impossible of him.
He is always sad that no one cares about him, he has no friends because people look at him like a mental case and dont take the time for him. He has embarrassed our family numerous times, he gets scared in public and when faced with options. For example if you took him into an icecream shop and said he could pick anything he wanted he would feak out, not because he hates ice cream but because he doesnt know what to chose with so many options available. And by freak out I mean that he might turn over a table or damage something. Can you imagine being in a public place and not knowing what will set him off. Or how many people never invited us back to dinner because he scared them. He is a big guy and when he gets mad is like a wild bull.

He has been baptized, confirmed, communion, but doesnt understand what they are, and he could care less.
I love him and live with him, as the next oldest under him it is my duty when my parents die to take care of him. I dont know how to really plan my life knowing that he will need constant care and live in the same house as my family, but I will stick it out and trust in God.

I have never said such personal things online, nor ever intended to. From what I see your happily married and have it better in life than my brother. Aslo there are numerous people on here who have disabilities and come here and find hope and give hope to others, your not alone. You have come so far you cant give up. I really hope you trust in God and stick this out
 
Dear CatholicDude,

I think that you are incredibly brave and good.
More is demanded of you than has been
demanded of me in life, from what you’re
saying.

I found that reading up on what ails me helped
a good deal, but that’s not everyones cup of
tea, as my grandmother used to say.

You will have my prayers for the rest of
my days.
God bless you,
reen 12
Did you ever see Fr. Groeschel’s programs
on Arise From Darkness on EWTN?
 
Dear Forum Participants,

Thank you for hearing me out and for the many
kind and loving responses.

I realized late tonight that there has been a
theme running through my mind for many
years, and it became clear to me from the
exchange of posts here.

It is: I can’t keep up.

I can keep going forward in life due to the
love and support of my spouse and my
family and the grace of God.
But I can’t keep up religiously with the
rigors of the Catholic faith.

I have taken up more than enough of your
time and patience. I could post about these
things because of the anonimity provided
by the forum setting.
The relief of heart that has come to me
from being able to share my life
has been considerable.

God bless each of you,
reen12
 
I am sorry for your suffering. I wish children never experienced such traumatic things. However, there is always hope for healing, isn’t there? We tend to separate physical illness from mental illness, but when the priest mentions physical illness during the Anointing of the Sick, would it be inappropriate to think of the physical parts of your body that are ailing and causing the mental difficulties.

Whether it is chemicals in the brain or psychological processes in the brain, it seems to me that it can still be viewed as a physical ailment, but just not in the way we typically think of physical suffering. I was just thinking that perhaps it would help to recognize physical suffering as including your suffering. Maybe Priests don’t want to point out that some suffer from mental illness because mental suffering is no less important than physical, right? Why do the two issues have to be separate when receiving a sacrament since there is a physical aspect to mental suffering? I hope I am not sounding insensitive. I don’t mean to be sounding as if mental illness is the same as ailments that are easily cured through medicine and/or surgery etc. I just mean to help you feel included when the priests mention physical pain. I hope you keep coming to the Church for the Sacraments - especially for Reconciliation and The Eucharist.

Would it be inappropriate to suggest praying the Rosary with the intention of asking Mary, Mother of God, to intercede and comfort you during your struggle to recognize her son as God?

You may want to see these 15 promises to those who faithfully pray the Rosary. I don’t understand why, but I always feel more peaceful after praying the Rosary. I hope it is helpful to you.
rosary-center.org/conprom.htm
 
Apparently, we were posting at about the same time, so perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned the Rosary. I don’t know if you’d consider that part of the rigors of the Catholic faith.

I hope you find peace and healing during your journey. I think you should take from the Church the things that are helpful to you and just don’t worry about the things that feel like too much weight for you to bear right now. Isn’t it perfectly ok and appropriate for a Catholic to focus totally on worshipping God (a Triune God)?

I don’t fully understand why you feel you can’t keep up, when it comes to the Catholic Faith. What is “required” that you are unable to do? I pray that you are able worship in the manner that God is calling you to do. Whatever that is - I know we are all different parts of the one body of Christ, so we can not all expect to be doing the same things. We have different functions, right?

I don’t want to sound pushy. I hope you remain a Catholic and find strength through all of the Church sacraments. I know you have to listen to your heart and do what seems right for you now. May God Bless You.
 
Hi reen,

I’m finding your posts quite interesting, you’re obviously highly intelligent. I sincerely hope that the Lord shows you what you need to be shown. I think given your past that only he can repair the damage done.

The religion you’re looking to enter is under the old covenant of the law. As you know the Lord literally resided over the ark of this covenant. The sacrifice of Christ was done in love to save us all. Under the old covenant if a person would touch the arc they would die.

The new and everlasting covenant has the same literal presence over it in the Eucharist. In this you can receive God fully in his love. Are you quite certain that you wish to abandon that which he gave so much pain of himself for you?

I was going through a difficult time many years ago when I was out of work and my mother died. One verse that helped me to get by was Ephesians 3:19 where Paul says that the love of Christ passes knowledge. I did alot of pondering on this concept and realized that it was quite literal. In the darkest hour I had to realize that every single thing going on in my mind was what was separating me from the love I so greatly desired from him. I found that at times it is better to embrace simplicity and just wait and listen. I also found that huge decisions in difficult times are better left unmade.

To seek God without his Son after having full knowledge that the Son is real… is to forsake that which we seek… who is one with the Son… who’s love passes knowledge. I hope you realize that he was with you when that priest made you cry. He didn’t abandon you then and he won’t abandon you now.

It seems you are seeking that which you already have. If lifes painful experiences are causing you to leave the Catholic Church, your not leaving the past. It would be like leaving God to escape your past and looking for the same God who is already with you. I will certainly pray that you are healed of this pain and that his love brings you peace.

-D
 
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reen12:
Dear Forum Participants,

Thank you for hearing me out and for the many
kind and loving responses.

I realized late tonight that there has been a
theme running through my mind for many
years, and it became clear to me from the
exchange of posts here.

It is: I can’t keep up.

I can keep going forward in life due to the
love and support of my spouse and my
family and the grace of God.
But I can’t keep up religiously with the
rigors of the Catholic faith.

I have taken up more than enough of your
time and patience. I could post about these
things because of the anonimity provided
by the forum setting.
The relief of heart that has come to me
from being able to share my life
has been considerable.

God bless each of you,
reen12
Click to expand...
And may the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob bless you and your family…

Peace…
 
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