I just wanted to mention that the “scandal” is not the reason I can’ t join the church… My marriage hasn’t been blessed yet and we are trying to overcome some issues before doing so. the priest at my parish has advised me on it and says we have to be blessed before i can enter into the church. Thank you for your prayers…
Hello! Welcome to the Catholic Church, even if only by a Holy desire at this point.
I am wondering out loud about your assertion that you can not enter the church before having your marriage blessed?
Many years ago, before I married my wife, she had been “married” three times, and each resulted in a legal divorce. She was raised Catholic, but, never was actually considered married by the Church.
At that point, she was beginning to think that she was incapable of marriage. Of course, that was before she understood what actual marriage was in the first place. After the third divorce, she returned to Sunday Mass, and then even to daily mass. However, she did not go forward for Communion.
After several months of attending daily mass, and not going forward for Communion, a fellow church member who noticed this pulled her aside and talked to her. She told him about her situation, the failed mariages, living as a single parent, etc…
The friend introduced her to the Priest and she learned that the only thing keeping her from Holy Communion was a good confession. She was not living with anyone. She was not remarried. She was living as a single parent. She had already dealt with the invalidity of her previous marriages. Because she was never married within the Church, and she never asked for a dispensation, she was not considered validly married before. She did not have to go through an annulment, but, did have to submit some other peperwork.
Anyway, I can not think of a single reason why a Priest would say that you can not enter the Church. The Church is open to everyone. There is the question of your living arrangement, but, that is your choice, not the Priests choice.
In other words, since the Church understands you to still be married to your first wife, there is the appearance of a scandal. Since the Church still sees you as being married to your first wife, you are now living with a second wife. Since in the eyes of the Church, a legal divorce does not change the status of a previous marriage in the eyes of God and of the Church. But, then, I am sure the Priest has talked with you about all that.
Anyway, what I am getting to is that couples in your position are often encouraged to live as brother and sister, abstaining from relations with each other, until the issue of their freedom to marry is resolved. Given that pre-condition, there is no reason why you could not enter the Church without reservations. The choice then would be yours to make, not the Priests. You can choose to put Christ first in your life now, and choose to live a Holy life now, or you can choose to continue to live as a husband with two wives.
I am not sure if your Priest has talked to you in these terms or not. And please dfon’t be offended by my directness, or if I have the facts wrong. I am writing sort of hypot=hetically here since I don’t know the details of your situation.
In any case, you might consider choosing Holiness, both now, and forever. You can ask God to bless your choice for holiness, both now, and forever. And then when you are free to marry, you can again ask God to bless your union with your wife, and your communion together as with Christ in Holy Communion with Him. In this respect, then, you will be able to enjoy the entire sign and reality of your union in Christ and as true husband and true wife.
Gene