Non-religious arguments against Polyamory?

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Christianus_Dei

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everydayfeminism.com/2015/10/comments-polyamorous-ppl/

So a friend posted this article on facebook, and it brought up an interesting point that I’ve struggled with concerning arguments against polyamory. I can’t for the life of me think of a reason against it beyond God’s command of one man, one woman.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m against it. But I’m wondering what non-religious arguments could be formulated against it.

I’d say it could be hurtful because one could pick a favorite and the other party might feel bad, but one could make the same argument concerning multiple children.

The same goes for incest as well. Beyond the general lessening of health in the resulting kids, there’s really no precedent to be against it unless one believes in a God who condemns it.

I’m struggling here because there unlike same-sex weddings, I can’t find a real non-religious reason to argue against it. And it’s important to be able to do that with social justice issues, when we live in a non-religious culture.
 
Sex, normally, means children, and children deserve a stable familial structure?

ICXC NIKA
 
Devils advocate here:

Why can’t a person in two relationships be a stable situation to bring up children?

They address this a little bit in the article.
 
Christianus_Dei said:
everydayfeminism.com/2015/10/comments-polyamorous-ppl/

So a friend posted this article on facebook, and it brought up an interesting point that I’ve struggled with concerning arguments against polyamory. I can’t for the life of me think of a reason against it beyond God’s command of one man, one woman.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m against it. But I’m wondering what non-religious arguments could be formulated against it.
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In practice, it’s not difficult - some people are simply not wired to want to share their partners. And when they try to do it anyway, they are reliably made miserable by the whole situation.
The same goes for incest as well. Beyond the general lessening of health in the resulting kids, there’s really no precedent to be against it unless one believes in a God who condemns it.
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I think the health concerns basically cover it, from a secular standpoint.
 
But why should love be dictated by economic possibility?

What about in the case of infertility in one sibling? Children can’t result, so it would just be about the relationship of the two involved?

Again, this is the last time I say this, I don’t believe in this. Just trying to figure out what I’m supposed to say when “progressive” friends of mine bring it up in conversation. They’re not religious, so my thoughts on this in terms of morality wouldn’t mean anything to them.
 
Christianus_Dei said:
everydayfeminism.com/2015/10/comments-polyamorous-ppl/

So a friend posted this article on facebook, and it brought up an interesting point that I’ve struggled with concerning arguments against polyamory. I can’t for the life of me think of a reason against it beyond God’s command of one man, one woman.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m against it. But I’m wondering what non-religious arguments could be formulated against it.

I’d say it could be hurtful because one could pick a favorite and the other party might feel bad, but one could make the same argument concerning multiple children.

The same goes for incest as well. Beyond the general lessening of health in the resulting kids, there’s really no precedent to be against it unless one believes in a God who condemns it.

I’m struggling here because there unlike same-sex weddings, I can’t find a real non-religious reason to argue against it. And it’s important to be able to do that with social justice issues, when we live in a non-religious culture.
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There isn’t much in the way of good secular arguments against it.
 
I did it for a while.

I was married, had a girlfriend and she had a girlfriend + two boyfriends.

There were no lies and for the most part, it went smoothly and I experienced some things that were pretty great.

Ultimately, it wasn’t for me, as I was rather turned off knowing she was with other men.

So I ended it and now it’s monogamy for me, but I wouldn’t mind if my partner had a girlfriend.
 
Polygyny was big in Heian Japan. You’ve got books like The Gossamer Years (aka the Kagero Nikki) (a diary) or Lady Nijo’s diary or The Tale of Genji (fiction) that give an insight into a culture where such things were socially acceptable-- and how the people who were involved didn’t always have their feelings considered.
 
midori said:
Polygyny was big in Heian Japan. You’ve got books like The Gossamer Years (aka the Kagero Nikki) (a diary) or Lady Nijo’s diary or The Tale of Genji (fiction) that give an insight into a culture where such things were socially acceptable-- and how the people who were involved didn’t always have their feelings considered.
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Yes. And I would imagine that except for some predatory alpha males, no one in this society was happy with this lifestyle.
 
PRmerger said:
Yes. And I would imagine that except for some predatory alpha males, no one in this society was happy with this lifestyle.
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Heh. “Miserable” was the word I was blanking on last night. 🙂

I always feel a twitch of annoyance when I read annoyingly chipper apologetics coming through on my Facebook feed— “I’m so goshdarn understanding that my boyfriend loves his boyfriend and has been with him longer than he’s been with me, and he’s the primary and I’m not, and that’s okay!” or whatever. I have a ton of people in my social circle who have open relationships-- and only one of those relationships has really survived, and that one closed themselves off after the birth of their child. But I can’t read one of those things without thinking of all the anonymous women who were absolutely miserable in that system, when that lifestyle *was *the cultural/political/social norm of their society.
 
Polygyny is actually quite big the world over.

The more powerful alpha males can collect all the women they want which shuts out the lower status males. The lower status males may then be funneled into a standing army.
 
The arguments are the same. Sex is by nature intended to be used between an exclusive man and woman. That children can result from these sexual escapades is the reason it should be prohibited. In my town there was a group of wealthy people who swapped spouses. A kid resulted from on such encounter. Everyone knew that the kids father was not really his father. That is a mighty evil thing to do to a kid.
Thankfully, though, most people are totally cool with it. They know other polyamorous people, or maybe they’re even polyamorous themselves. They might say things like “I’m not polyamorous, but good for you!” or “That sounds like fun, but I’ve got my hands full with one.”
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I’m sure there is some of this going on around me but I thank God I live in the ‘backwards’ South. I don’t think most people here know polyamorous people.
When I flirt with a cute new friend, it’s not because the partners I already have are inadequate or insufficient for me. It’s because flirting with cute new friends is fun, and I want to see where things go, and my other partners think that’s great.
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New, fun, exciting with no commitment. I don’t deny there can be a perceived happiness in this. But this is just immaturity. We live in a very immature culture. A key aspect of our immaturity is never making decisions. We never commit to anything. Polyamory is the divorce culture.
A partner is not a child.
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You can’t “let” or “not let” another adult do something unless it involves your own boundaries.
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Radical libertarians are everywhere. Except they aren’t. I doubt most of these people practice anything like a live and let live attitude. I’m sure their boundaries are things like the color I paint my house or what kind of light bulbs I use.
 
Christianus_Dei said:
everydayfeminism.com/2015/10/comments-polyamorous-ppl/

So a friend posted this article on facebook, and it brought up an interesting point that I’ve struggled with concerning arguments against polyamory. I can’t for the life of me think of a reason against it beyond God’s command of one man, one woman.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m against it. But I’m wondering what non-religious arguments could be formulated against it.

I’d say it could be hurtful because one could pick a favorite and the other party might feel bad, but one could make the same argument concerning multiple children.

The same goes for incest as well. Beyond the general lessening of health in the resulting kids, there’s really no precedent to be against it unless one believes in a God who condemns it.

I’m struggling here because there unlike same-sex weddings, I can’t find a real non-religious reason to argue against it. And it’s important to be able to do that with social justice issues, when we live in a non-religious culture.
Click to expand...
Someone I know that dates women that are polyamorous just had a scare where he thought one of the girls was pregnant. She claimed it was his, but how could he know?
He also has a STD from one of these women as well.

So, how about the possibility of pregnancy with someone you don’t want to have a child with and the very likely possibility of getting a STD.

STD’s are proof positive that we are meant to be monogamous.
 
lax16 said:
Someone I know that dates women that are polyamorous just had a scare where he thought one of the girls was pregnant. She claimed it was his, but how could he know?
He also has a STD from one of these women as well.

So, how about the possibility of pregnancy with someone you don’t want to have a child with and the very likely possibility of getting a STD.

STD’s are proof positive that we are meant to be monogamous.
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HIV is proof that women are meant to be with women.

Your argument is impotent.
 
midori said:
Heh. “Miserable” was the word I was blanking on last night. 🙂

I always feel a twitch of annoyance when I read annoyingly chipper apologetics coming through on my Facebook feed— “I’m so goshdarn understanding that my boyfriend loves his boyfriend and has been with him longer than he’s been with me, and he’s the primary and I’m not, and that’s okay!” or whatever. I have a ton of people in my social circle who have open relationships-- and only one of those relationships has really survived, and that one closed themselves off after the birth of their child. But I can’t read one of those things without thinking of all the anonymous women who were absolutely miserable in that system, when that lifestyle *was *the cultural/political/social norm of their society.
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My guess is that most of these folks have to numb themselves with anti-depressants, or alcohol or other psychotropic agents to push away the natural revulsion to such a lifestyle.

(Please note: I am not in any way equating true depression, for which anti-depressants can be a life-saving aid, with those who use it to try to numb the natural law which lies in our heart).
 
exnihilo said:
No, it is proof women should stay away from men who have sex with men.
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Increasingly HIV is spreading amongst the heterosexual community. Lesbians appear to have lower rates of STDs across the board.
 
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