Not caring about being stylish

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I wanted an Immaculate medal to wear at work when I went back and my husband said he would get it for me. I walked into church one day and there is an area where they give away keychains jewelry with prayer cards and lo and behold there was a miraculous medal. I plan to wear this every day and consider it a gift from my Blessed Mother as I’ve asked her to help me get closer to her. I have to believe it if I’m going to work on faith.
 
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Not everyone has to like you. Really doesn’t. Someone explained to me that my need to be liked by others stems out of pride not niceness. I think it was correct to say so. Accepting someone disliking you is also a form of meekness.
Don’t dress down so she likes you. She won’t. She just has sympathies and so on. Or you said something once that she took offense with and now you can’t remember what. It doesn’t matter. Move forward. Sometimes people get back to being nice if you just ignore their hate energies towards you. Sometimes they don’t.
 
A slightly different take - - I’m wondering if the OP is angry about going back to work, and the sackcloth is partly a protest, as well as a spiritual subdued feeling. I was in exactly the same place 20 years ago, and I was personally very angry about going back to work. I was also so sleep-deprived with a new baby, and my mom had Stage IV cancer. So much going on! A lot of the anger was toward my husband because we were not on the same page about me staying home with kids. The reality was that we were just not in a place financially where we could do that. It got better over time, but there is so much going on with you with a new baby, just be kind to yourself, and dress however you want to to make it through the day!! God bless you, and take care!
 
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Absolutely, thank you. Yes, in a way, me wanting to dress drab is a protest. I still planned to do my job well though (working for the Lord and not men) but I want to be so very much in the background, professional but not my usual happy friendly self. The problem is how can I have a Catholic calendar on my desk and a picture of St Thérèse and be this way? Today at Mass Jesus said we have to be the light and here I am about to lose my saltiness. I’ve asked Him to give me His joy instead but frankly, in this situation, it would take a miracle. So my plan is just to go to Mass everyday except Sunday since I can’t (husband works all weekend) and prayer.
 
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Losing saltiness can be a tall order. But you are the only one who can make that happen, and it will only happen if you make a deliberate choice to not be salty.

Sometimes when I get into a salty rut, the only thing that will work for me is to take it one day at a time. Even that can feel too much, so I will divide the day up. I will put my feet on the floor when I wake up and I will declare (yes, out loud) “This morning I will choose to be positive, react positively to whatever happens, remember my place in the universe, and be open to the many blessings that come my way.” As a Catholic, you could try the same thing but replace the universe part with more of a statement of what you believe as far as staying close to God and accepting his blessings, etc. Personalize it to the extent you like.

It sounds so simple to say happiness is a choice, but if you think about the people you may know or have read about who live/d life under miserable circumstances but still were happy beings you realize it is possible. Certainly a challenge, but not nearly as challenging as living life feeling salty day-in and day-out.

I know what a struggle it is to have a new baby and such a full plate. I will keep you in my prayers that your return to work is smooth and peaceful.
 
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Hi, this stayed with me since you wrote it but I could not find anything on the internet that I could delve further into. Regarding wanting approval as a form of pride. I wanted to find which saint spoke of this or even a psychology article or something that maybe expounds in it because, as mentioned, that really struck a chord with me and makes me want to stop immediately, even though I do it not purposefully. If anyone knows of any I’d appreciate it.
Thank you.
 
MarthaSo said:
Regarding wanting approval as a form of pride. I wanted to find which saint spoke of this or even a psychology article or something that maybe expounds in it because, as mentioned, that really struck a chord with me and makes me want to stop immediately, even though I do it not purposefully.
Click to expand...
The symptoms of vanity, this initial sin: intolerance of criticism, a thirst for praise, a search for easy paths, constant orientation upon others - what will they say? how will it appear? what will they think? Vanity sees an approaching audience from afar and makes the wrathful - affectionate, the irresponsible - serious, the distracted - concentrated, gluttons - temperate, and so on - all of this while there are observers around…
http://www.holy-transfiguration.org/library_en/ct_pride_stronghold1.html
 
Hey, OP! I’m sorry you’re faced with such a jerk of a coworker and I feel for your blues. I’ve suffered from clinical depression most of my 42 years; so I definitely feel for you. As a man, I’ll offer my perspective.

I don’t care about being stylish. I dress comfortably and practically because I’d rather be me than seek social approval. Do what makes you feel good about yourself. Your husband will love you and support you.

I’d definitely pray when faced with a problem; for yourself and her. Beyond that: You’re a good woman and if your coworker doesn’t appreciate that; that’s her problem. You just be the best woman, wife and mother God made you to be. Practice whatever helps you do just that. God bless you; you’re doing what you need to do to overcome your struggles.
 
That’s awesome, thank you so much for that heartfelt encouragement.
 
I’m sorry about your suffering of clinical depression, I don’t know what that’s like but I suffer from anxiety and I am a half glass empty this side of Heaven person. Maybe the way I grew up, internalizing everything, not many friends, maybe that led to a low view of myself that stayed with me. Can you believe sometimes I truly wonder if Jesus knows and can see me. Even though I believe in Him. Can you believe such a thought! It’s a genuine thought too! God bless you and your family and thank you again for sharing.:pray:t2:
 
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Thank you for your sympathies, I appreciate it. Anxiety is a large part of depression.

I a totally relate to your anxious thoughts about Jesus and it’s totally understandable. I was struck by two things after reading it. First, was a vision I had going to work one day. Oddly enough, it was while Metallica’s Damage, Inc. was playing on my car radio. I saw a milking marketplace with God’s light shining down on it. That light is His Grace. When we pray, we’re inviting His grace into us.

The second thing was remembering one of Saint Ignatius de Loyola’s spiritual exercises. It was the scene in which Jesus is the King under Whose banner we fight and serve. Think of Jesus as a general on high, watching the battle as we fight.
 
Thank you so much for that visual. I tell my children Jesus is our Commander and we must trust our leader. My son is in the military and I always tell him what he’s doing is noble but never to forget he is a soldier of Christ’s army first and there is no battle more important or deadly.
It’s almost like I have a veil over me, I just can’t picture Jesus watching me, it’s strange.
Anyway thank you and good night all.
 
You’re welcome for the visual, Martha. I’m glad that your son is serving; God bless him, keep him safe and Saint Ignatius of Loyola and Saint Michael the Archangel guide him and pray for him.

As for that pesky veil: Here’s another visual. Imagine your looking up at that veil: See through it, know and trust that Jesus is there; watching over you, guiding you and praying for you to the Father.
 
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