Obligation to pay for stepdad's funeral?

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casslean said:
Those are incredibly high numbers. Don’t feel like you can’ negotiate, especially if you’re likely to be purchasing plots in that cemetery for yourself and your wife someday. The worst that could happen is that they say there’s no movement, but that’s rarely the case.
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The prices are incredibly high. My sales pitch was that my mom and stepdad are on a fixed income and to give me the cheapest price. There was a couple of hundred dollar discount from $11,400 to $11,000 if I paid cash upfront but that is it. From comparing Catholic cemeteries to non-Catholic cemeteries in the area, the Catholic cemeteries charge at least $3000 premium in overall costs to be buried in them. If each person gets buried as they die, then it is $7,300 per person burial. This price includes everything (i.e. open and close, vault, recording fee, and marker). And opting for cremation did not have the cost savings as I hoped either.
 
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Actually, there are times when a body can be flown without embalming, but, I’d not do it!! (I am a super nerd about burial and mortuary stuff).
 
JanetF said:
$10,000 for my mom last March. She had pre-paid though which was a relief.
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This seems to be the going rate. If one person died and wants to be buried in a Catholic cemetery in the Sacramento, CA location, right now it would be $7,300 for the cemetery expenses and another $5500 for a one day traditional funeral services, which includes a “cheap” casket of $1000. So the out the door total cost is $12,800. Seems like a racket to me.
 
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Unless a magic green cemetery comes available, we will do direct cremation. Less than $1,000. No casket, no coffin. Mass and then interment on private grounds.

In the US, in most states, unless the police are involved in the death, you can care for your beloved dead at home (wash, dress, have visitation) in your own home. What a beautiful thing.
 
Lol. Me either. Seems so silly. But I guess on some level it makes the family feel better, or there wouldn’t be a market for it.
 
I think on commercial airlines embalming is required. If private or contracted aircraft are used, I imagine it is waived. I’ve carried unembalmed caskets on military aircraft and the smell is not pleasant.
 
dochawk said:
Aside from the Innocent Spouse exemption, there are determinations of noncollectibility (I think it’s around $30k income for a single person), bankruptcy (after a couple of years. I have discharged literally millions in taxes for clients), and other options.
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And I just learned that the tax company my stepdad is working with has indicated that the IRS is going to discharge the taxes because they are essentially “too poor” to pay.
 
There are strict laws in the US regarding price transparency in the funeral industry. That does not stop the corporate funeral homes from pushing expensive services on people (there are some VERY GOOD ethical funeral homes out there).
 
catholic47 said:
And I just learned that the tax company my stepdad is working with has indicated that the IRS is going to discharge the taxes because they are essentially “too poor” to pay.
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That sounds like the uncollectible status.

Be sure to find out how often they have to renew it (I forget whether it is annually or less often).
 
Something to think about. The cost of insuring loans is likely higher than a term insurance policy. Check it out. You can probably provide more protection for your family.
 
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In a rural part of CA (Lake County) where I buried my dad two years ago, the plot was $1,295.00. I live 100 miles away in Sacramento, and it is $7,300 for an individual or $11,400 if for a doubt vault plot for two people. The price discrepancy is outrageous.
 
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dochawk said:
That sounds like the uncollectible status.

Be sure to find out how often they have to renew it (I forget whether it is annually or less often).
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You are correct. An IRS agent actually made a house call to confirm their limited assets and conferred them with the “uncollectible” designation.
 
I second the open and close cost. I was quoted $1,300 for opening and closing which is part of the total cost for the burial expenses. I was also told that markers can be as cheap as $1,000, but often come out to $2,000 markers, which includes pictures of the deceased.
 
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Warning, she does use less than G rated language in some videos.

 
OP, I always assumed you don’t “hate” the stepdad. But it did clarify some things. You clarified how the situation is putting strain on your family and draining their finances, for example.

Financially speaking, there are good suggestions in this thread. I would like to suggest automatic deduction, if that’s possible. Your stepdad can’t spend money that never arrives in his hand. Another advantage of life insurance is that you can keep the funds you don’t use.

There also are some options if you’re not fiercely attached to a location. I expect in the big cities, space is at a premium. But I’ve seen classified ads in the small-town newspapers from people who are moving and want to sell their plots. Such opportunities won’t appear every week, not like a beverage on every corner. But if you’re able to look and have the time, you might find a discounted deal that both buyer and seller can live with.

Still, the ideal solution is that your stepdad will be in recovery, somehow, someday. Unlikely, no doubt, but the Lord will apply all prayers according to His wisdom.

Peace.
 
The laws in the US required transparency in funeral home pricing.
 
I couldn’t agree more. I just learned that the following fees are rolled into the bottom line price that I was quoted for plot: open and close fees, recording fees, marker fees, and vault fees.
 
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