I would guess that Aspergers is the diagnosis of exclusion–that is, other possibilities have to be ruled out first. Even though a person afflicted with Aspergers can be mistaken for a garden-variety twit, not every garden-variety twit has Aspergers.
Teens who have had strong discipline in childhood are a joy to their families and friends.I have a four year-old (and a 8 week old)- both girls and I am TERRIFIED of the teen years!!
True. Geniuses with special needs often present with the symptoms of idiocy, but it is a reality that actual idiots also present with the symptoms of idiocy - I think it’s important to prepare oneself for the possibility that there’s nothing actually the matter with the kid - he’s just an idiot.
You are so right, and I tell my boys all the time that just because they are on the spectrum they are not excused from the consequences of bad behavior. Parents do a huge disservice to their children buy not holding them accountable. My boys have problems with socialization, if I don’t teach them how to refrain from rudeness it is just going to make things more difficult. I will not allow them to use the fact that they are autistic to have a free pass, but many other parents I’ve met with autistic kids do. I will not compromise on behavior and manners. It is never acceptable to do so.
Yeah, grandpa isn’t a fan of him…“You can care about someone from a far. The only visit I’ve ever enjoyed with that heathen is when I first saw him when he was a baby. I much prefer him before he could talk. I liked the crying better than the bulls*** he blurts out now.” And my grandpa…is actually very easy going.Sounds like Grandpa is the only one speaking the truth about this kid!
They are staying in your house??? No way I would put up with his behavior and comments and tell his parents the same. If they don’t like it they can get a hotel, or better yet, leave the brat at home in a germ free bag… or even better don’t come, period.
I would also tell both parents and child that there is something more toxic than germs and that is HIS attitude ---- then throw a dirty diaper at him!
He hasn’t been evaluated for anything. I asked him about his friends at school, he said that his best friends are the 3 girls that he had to sit by in art class this past year, which I found odd considering how much he says he hates girls. He said they’re nice, I found them on his Facebook, just to be nosy, they seem just like normal kids. One had a picture of herself fishing with her dad, he would never fish. I think they’re the only one’s that put up with him.
Yeah, she’s too nice. I wanted to slap him just for acting that way.
I completely agree with your post, I honestly think he’s kind of just a brat, but then he is pretty crazy. He may have something wrong. I haven’t thought of this, but maybe he does it just to get attention. I don’t even know.
Our kids are hearing-impaired and were speech-delayed. It was pointed out to us that deaf people can be rude or polite, hardworking or lazy, and everything else anyone else can be, because being deaf doesn’t change basic human nature. We were cautioned that it is very important not to take our children’s real challenges as any excuse not to behave as decent people behave. So while some people have conditions that require real accommodation–you don’t expect someone who is autistic to endure the kind of noisy distracting conditions that would be merely annoying to anyone else, because it is far worse than annoying when you are autistic–that does not mean they have carte blanche to act any way they like. The accommodations need to go both ways, in good faith.
You don’t have to know. All you need to do is say, “Jon, if you have concerns about my food hygiene, you need to let me know, so we can arrange for you to take care of your own food. I’m willing to do whatever I need to do to help you to be comfortable here, but you need to do your part and take my feelings into account, too.” This is how you, if you had some kind of OCD over your food, would feel relieved to be treated, would it not? So put the best face you can on his behavior, but still feel that you can let him know when you feel his way of putting something was rude or that he’s neglecting his manners. Treat his as a learner who needs some guidance. This is what you have to do with people who show a very poor grasp of social expectations. If they make it clear that they have no interest in your social expectations, apologize that your differences are too great, and then show them the door.
This is a good response. It shows respect for the young man’s concerns instead of belittling them like so many people do.
I understand some people suffer from OCD, but I do think he could be nicer, and not only that, he is truly a full on brat.
In the spirit of full disclosure I have been diagnosed with OCD and I do not condone or find this young’s man behavior and comments excusable or acceptable.
Exactly, I hate when people use it as pass. OCD isn’t a pass to lock an 87 year old out of her house.
That would have been the last thing one of my boys ever did. What did his parents do about that?
Sounds to me as if he could have used a can of whoop-***** unloaded on him when he was 9, and locked his own grandmother out of the house.