Oppressive husbands

[white_sheep]

Saying you ‘give’ your wife freedom and that you should oppress her, is not about caring for your family.

Look, I was joking. And I even made a reasonable explanation. I think the problem here is that I outed myself as being a man in this thread. lol

Maybe you should re-read that post in a more charitable light as there is already plenty of explanation in it.

Let’s say some kid built the classic water trap along a dirt path. You know, dug a hole, filled it with water and threw a layer of dirt to float on top so that it looks just like the rest of the dirt path. Here comes my wife down the path pushing the baby in the stroller. Now what do I do? If I tell her about it, I will be oppressing her, forcing my will on her, bending her to my desires by telling her an easier way to go about her day. So, should I just let her barrel on into the water trap and then tell her how she should have noticed it? Which of these two avenues of action do you believe would more exhibit charity, love, and compassion?

 

[Debora123]

Some husbands use or go beyond Church rules to oppress there wife. A good submissive wife maybe trying to be submissive to God’s Will but her husband may by his nature takes advantage of her submission to God’s will to give him more power over her as her husband. The idea of being submissive to God’s will for women tends to lead to abusive men taking advantage of it. Because some husband abuse this power of submission it cause the wife to but trapped in abuse, even it its just emotional abuse. It can even go so far as to prevent a wife a way out of a abusive relationship or at least make it more dangerous and a life time of suffering either way. Oppressive men tend to be very attracted to the Catholic Church because its rules can be easily abused and kept hidden. it makes me sick because I love my Catholic faith but hate how some people abuse it. Women aren’t perfect either but this thread is about oppressive men. this kind of man usually refueses coounseling or spiritual guidance and if they do go they tend to think they are smarter then everyone else and therefore its bad advice they received. IMPO a abusive father is worse than no father at all.

How do we teach/change men like this to become better husbands and fathers?
if a wife does leave a husband like this how does she prevent his marcissistic brainwashing upon the children? (more then likely he will get some custody).

Whoever thinks women need to be submissive to their husbands at all costs is misunderstanding Church teaching on this.

Husband AND wife need to be submissive to each other.

Ephesians says “women, be submissive to your husbands…” but shortly after that, it says “husbands, love your wives with all your heart, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Gave himself up for her. It also goes on to say man should love his wife and care for her as he loves and cares for his own body.

What more love and submission is there than giving yourself completely to someone??

It’s a two way street, and all it takes to understand this is to read the whole verse rather than just stopping at “wives be submissive to your husbands.”

 

[Debora123]

What is the verse immediately preceding "Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord." (Eph. 5:22)? It is this: “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Eph. 5:21) That section of Holy Scripture goes on to say that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church!

Better catechesis, all around. What you are describing is a warping of the faith. It is wrong, wrong, wrong. If you meet a woman who does not get that, her pastor can usually straighten her out, and she will perceive that he has the authority to interpret the faith better than her husband.

What can an abused spouse do to prevent an ex from brainwashing the children against her? It is a widespread problem, and has lots of answers. Staying with him isn’t one of them. Forcing children to watch his abuse of her is abuse of their children. It cannot be tolerated.

It really is that simple.

I’m not sure why Ephesians is so widely misunderstood.

 

[Debora123]

Mostly it was a joke. But there’s some truth to it as she does seem to find a way to make her life more difficult than it has to be in just about every area. I see a lot of women do this. If she’d listen to me more her life would be much easier, but alas, I give her too much freedom. I’ve always told her she can do whatever she wants, for the most part. If I would only oppress her a little, she’d be much happier and our lives would be easier. I’m resisting the urge to become an oppressor, but it seems like a very reasonable and logical avenue to take.

LOL is this guy for real???

If so, I sure am happy MY husband doesn’t feel this way!

 

[Samson01]

The way I look at it is that if I do all i can to free up my wife’s time…the more time she has for God. If she choose’s not to devote that extra time to Him, I’ve done what I could. If she chooses to be oppressive herself toward me…God help her at judgement and me if I didn’t do what I could have done in the first place. Samson

 

[Serap]

I’m a probation officer and I have yet to see a DV case that involved a submissive wife trying to live a holy Catholic marriage. The closest are those involving cultural differences. They tend to involve mitigating factors such as the husband is a alcoholic, has anger management issues, has insufficient social skills, was abused as a child, etc.

100% agreed. It goes much further than religion.

 

[Rita77]

Look, I was joking. And I even made a reasonable explanation. I think the problem here is that I outed myself as being a man in this thread. lol

Maybe you should re-read that post in a more charitable light as there is already plenty of explanation in it.

Let’s say some kid built the classic water trap along a dirt path. You know, dug a hole, filled it with water and threw a layer of dirt to float on top so that it looks just like the rest of the dirt path. Here comes my wife down the path pushing the baby in the stroller. Now what do I do? If I tell her about it, I will be oppressing her, forcing my will on her, bending her to my desires by telling her an easier way to go about her day. So, should I just let her barrel on into the water trap and then tell her how she should have noticed it? Which of these two avenues of action do you believe would more exhibit charity, love, and compassion?

telling her would not oppressing her. do you understand the meaning of opression? now if you dug the hole yourself you really have problems. I think oppressive men come off as a retard and often times they have mental issues. their the type to get spit in their drink or _ _ _ _ in their pie.

 

[Serap]

Look, I was joking. And I even made a reasonable explanation. I think the problem here is that I outed myself as being a man in this thread. lol

Maybe you should re-read that post in a more charitable light as there is already plenty of explanation in it.

Let’s say some kid built the classic water trap along a dirt path. You know, dug a hole, filled it with water and threw a layer of dirt to float on top so that it looks just like the rest of the dirt path. Here comes my wife down the path pushing the baby in the stroller. Now what do I do? If I tell her about it, I will be oppressing her, forcing my will on her, bending her to my desires by telling her an easier way to go about her day. So, should I just let her barrel on into the water trap and then tell her how she should have noticed it? Which of these two avenues of action do you believe would more exhibit charity, love, and compassion?

In this case, you are looking out for her safety. I would do the same thing for my husband. This is not oppression. This is looking out for eachother’s safety. We all have a duty to care for eachother in that way…it’s not just husband and wife.

Do you have specific examples where your wife oppresses herself. Before, I judge your posts, I would like to understand where you are coming from. I don’t want to assume anything about you.

 

[white_sheep]

LOL is this guy for real???

If so, I sure am happy MY husband doesn’t feel this way!

I’m sorry if framing my response within the context of the discussion causes you any discomfort. I will try to be more oblivious next time.

 

[white_sheep]

telling her would not oppressing her. do you understand the meaning of opression? now if you dug the hole yourself you really have problems. I think oppressive men come off as a retard and often times they have mental issues. their the type to get spit in their drink or _ _ _ _ in their pie.

What are you even talking about? Now I’m a crazy retard?

I’ve really found myself in a hornet’s nest of bitter old hags.

 

[Samson01]

rut row

 

[Debora123]

Originally Posted by Debora123

No discomfort.

Don’t you see me “rolling on the floor laughing?”

…I’m still glad my husband doesn’t feel the same way though.

 

[Debora123]

rut row

Lol.

 

[Debora123]

What are you even talking about? Now I’m a crazy retard?

I’ve really found myself in a hornet’s nest of bitter old hags.

I’ve read quite a few of your posts. On this thread and other threads.

If you hate women so much, why didn’t you just marry a man?

I must say though, you are quite funny.

 

[exoflare]

"white sheep:

I’ve really found myself in a hornet’s nest of bitter old hags.

rut row

lol

 

[severus68]

Look, I was joking. And I even made a reasonable explanation. I think the problem here is that I outed myself as being a man in this thread. lol

Maybe you should re-read that post in a more charitable light as there is already plenty of explanation in it.

Let’s say some kid built the classic water trap along a dirt path. You know, dug a hole, filled it with water and threw a layer of dirt to float on top so that it looks just like the rest of the dirt path. Here comes my wife down the path pushing the bab youy in the stroller. Now what do I do? If I tell her about it, I will be oppressing her, forcing my will on her, bending her to my desires by telling her an easier way to go about her day. So, should I just let her barrel on into the water trap and then tell her how she should have noticed it? Which of these two avenues of action do you believe would more exhibit charity, love, and compassion?

I assume your wife would warn if you were going down that path and she knew what was ahead.

 

[LightBound]

What are you even talking about? Now I’m a crazy retard?

I’ve really found myself in a hornet’s nest of bitter old hags.

I’m sorry, “bitter old hags” is one thing, but the choice of words to describe yourself is beyond a little offensive…

Perhaps the best thing for you to do would be to refrain from name-calling!

 

[Serap]

I’ve read quite a few of your posts. On this thread and other threads.

If you hate women so much, why didn’t you just marry a man?

I must say though, you are quite funny.

How do you know he hates women? You guys must know something I don’t know.

There are many men who resent women and it usually begins with a cruel or emotionally unavailable mother. There are many women who resent men and it usually begins with a cruel or emotionally unavailable father.

And then many women hate other women due to jealousy, but that’s another topic

 

[Serap]

I assume your wife would warn if you were going down that path and she knew what was ahead.

Yes, I’m getting the sense that White Sheep is being severely judged, but by what standard? Does he really hate women?

My father resents women and he treats women badly as a result. He tends to see women as sexual objects for his gratification (including young girls). My father is a true misogynist and narcissist. I have seen it first hand and I am not so quick to assume this about White Sheep (based on this thread).

Many years of therapy have taught me that there are many wonderful men out there who love women for their feminine beauty and strength. If a man has a good loving mother, you can guarantee that he loves women (99% of the time). If you want a good man, look at how he loves and treats his mother. This is sooooo true!!!

This is what I will teach my daughter.

 

[EasterJoy]

You sound like a very unhappy person.

That is the weirdest answer I can imagine to what I wrote.

I didn’t marry somebody who sees me as a fixer-upper, and neither did my husband. We don’t treat each other with contempt and we don’t make personal attacks when we have a complaint. When we make a decision, it is our decision, and we live with it together. We don’t say “I told you so.” We see a lot of couples who do, though, and we go home and express gratitude for having a spouse that doesn’t act like that. After over 20 years, we are as happy as clams. Funny, too, those couples who attack each other keep winding up divorced. I think there is something to that research.

More to the point, it is hard to sit through a meal with a couple when either one treats each other like that. It is just hard to stomach. Hearing a man who made stupid blanket comments about women like you did, expecting that anyone would find that funny, is just over the top.

I can explain it now! If I had to be around you talking the way you have been posting, then yes, I would be an unhappy person.