You post in one thread that you’ve never seen a hard-working women and in another that “a lot” of women make their life harder because they don’t do what you would tell them to do. You didn’t post those things thinking this would win you any popularity contests, did you?
You are right that some men take advantage of a submissive attitude and are abusive or oppressive, but there is nothing in the idea of submission itself that causes this. God has called each to submit to the other, and submission is His will for us all. Therefore, submission is a means of grace. The fact that some do not walk in that grace causes dysfunction and sin.
There is no doubt that this is true, but it is not caused by submission. It is caused by the sin of oppression.
Having grown up with an abusive father who was a violent alcoholic, I can’t deny that having no father was better. It was also necessary for my mother to obtain a civil divorce and separate from him in order to protect us kids, and to motivate him to go to treatment.
This has to start with early intervention, with the children when they are still in pre-school, so that they have an alternative presented to them about how men could and should behave.
Sometimes this cannot be prevented,but can be healed later. It is important that the woman not enable the sins (because that is a sin also) by tolerating abuse.
Yes, when you tell someone that they ought to see a person with their parents before marrying them, you do have to explain what that means, what the red flags are, and when red flags are or aren’t deal-breakers. After all, the definition of a dysfunctional family that says, “A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it” is only partly tongue-in-cheek! When talking about extended families, that goes double. If you hold out for somebody with a perfect family, you’re probably never going to marry.
Absolutely! You are the spiritual head of the household. Your focus is off, though. It is not you she needs to listen to, but God. Your duty is to encourage and enhance her walk with God, to hear the voice of the HS in her life. To the extent that you and the HS are in harmony, she will then listen to you better as well.
No, she does not. On the contrary, you are the one who is coming across as reflecting contempt for women in general, and your wife in particular. It has been mentioned that one can look to how a man relates with his mother to see how things will go for a wife. It seems you may need some healing in your relationship with your mother. This is the best way to prevent oppression and contempt in the marriage. God can heal these sins by HIs grace, if we are willing to give them over to HIm. That requires, of course, that we first recognize and take responsibility for them.
Actually no. Your trouble will follow you to the judgement seat of Christ, where you will give an account of every word that you have placed here. Your sarcastic response is evidence that you are unable to accept feedback / correction from your brethren in Christ. This is a sign that we are lacking in humility. If a person such as myself gives you a comment that does not fit, you can still accept it graciously, rather than sarcastically. If someone chides you about your lack of charity(as has happened to me here more than once
) the appropriate response is to take it to heart and pray that the HS will form the Spirit of Christ in you, and that your attitude toward women will be the same as His.What this tells us is that you don’t know how to communicate with your wife in a manner that will be conducive to her listening to you. If the only way you know how to “tell her” is one that is oppressive and forceful, or that is intended to “bend her” to your deisres, then you need some work on your communication skills.
It is rarely charitable to give anyone “shoulds”. It is also rarely helpful to scold someone AFTER they have made a mistake. Here is a good standard for charity I was taught once by a pastor:
Just in case he is, let us all say a prayer for him?LOL is this guy for real???
If so, I sure am happy MY husband doesn’t feel this way!
If White Sheep is what we think he may be, he won’t be on CAF for much longer anyway.
I was just thinking the same thing!
EasterJoy, you are hilarious.You post in one thread that you’ve never seen a hard-working women and in another that “a lot” of women make their life harder because they don’t do what you would tell them to do. You didn’t post those things thinking this would win you any popularity contests, did you?
I think you took a stick and went and found yourself a hornet’s nest to stir up, then managed to be surprised when you succeeded.
So much for your decision-making ability.
I’m not sure what you’re trying to get at with this.
just take it as a lesson in humility. sometimes thats what CAF is best at.
I think humility is a good thing to have. I too take breaks from CAF once in a while.
