Parents miss Mass, kids get ax

[David_Paul]

NY Daily News
06-27-05
NANCY DILLON

The pastor of a Staten Island Catholic church is playing holy hardball - kicking hundreds of kids out of religious ed classes because their families aren’t showing up at Mass.

The Rev. Michael Cichon, pastor of St. Joseph/St. Thomas in Pleasant Plains, used each family’s bar-coded donation envelope to track attendance.

He’s tossed about 300 kids from classes and told them not to reapply until next April.

Without the classes, children cannot receive the sacraments, meaning some youngsters who thought they’d be making their First Communion next year will have to wait.

The suspensions, legal under church doctrine, were a shock to many parents with kids enrolled in the 1,400-child program, which caters to kids who don’t attend Catholic schools.

“It’s hurtful,” said Joseph LoPizzo, 38, whose 6-year-old son was booted. “I’ve been a parishioner at that church for 23 years - longer than he’s been the reverend.”

LoPizzo said he paid the $150 for his son’s Thursday afternoon classes last year, but his father-in-law’s illness hampered the family’s church attendance.

“I’ve just never heard of a church kicking you out,” complained Lisa Nicol, 36, who got a letter saying her 7-year-old twin daughters had been barred from classes. “They should be more welcoming and sensitive.”

The pastor said he suspended kids from the 2005-2006 after-school program because Mass is an “essential” component of the Catholic faith.

The affected families were attending church less than once a month, he said.

Cichon insisted that the move has nothing to do with the lack of a donation.

“There are many families who put absolutely nothing inside the envelopes they submit,” he said.

 

[Digitonomy]

Interesting approach, although as a parent I’d be a bit ticked off if I had been attending mass at another parish for whatever reason.

 

[pnewton]

We’ve kicked around a few ideas on how to address the problem of non-active parishoners of using CCE as a babysitting service. We have yet to come up with a good idea or anything practical. I do not think the system used sounds practical, because it still sounds like it is tied to donations, even with the disclaimer.

It would, however, be easy enough to make an allowance for long term illness. Another loop-hole is kids whose parents do not attend but are raised in there faith by grandparents, aunts, etc. That, too could be worked around.

 

[GregoryPalamas]

It is hard nosed but it may well work. I pray that it does. The parents could have found some way to send in a donation each week even if they could not attend every Sunday. I suspect the priest discussed this for sometime before taking action. I doubt that the parents took him seriously.

Dan L

 

[BigPaulie]

Amen to Rev. Michael Cichon. This is a problem in many parishes. What good is CCD if the family isn’t even attending weekly Mass? Thank God for Pope Benedict’s new evangelization! God Bless Father Cichon. Sincerely,Big Paulie :tiphat:

 

[Lurch104]

So now not only are the parents away from the church, the kids have no chance. We should take every oppurtunity given to us to teach children the Gospel message. How sad.

 

[Giannawannabe]

Lurch104:

So now not only are the parents away from the church, the kids have no chance. We should take every oppurtunity given to us to teach children the Gospel message. How sad.

I agree. I teach First Communion Catechism. I usually have a few kids who do not attend Mass. I tell them that it is not their fault. However, when they are able to drive, they MUST attend Mass. It is a grave sin to miss Mass for any, but serious reason. I teach this in the context of the Ten Commandments. I hope that they go home and tell their parents what they’ve learned. Perhaps I’m planting a seed.
There may be more to the story in this particular situation.

 

[BigPaulie]

Lurch104:

So now not only are the parents away from the church, the kids have no chance. We should take every oppurtunity given to us to teach children the Gospel message. How sad.

Many children who attend CCD do not hear the Gospel message. Don’t you remember what CCD stands for:
(Children Coloring and Drawing). Yes I agree it is sad the Children don’t hear the Gospel. That’s why I say, Thank God for Pope Benedict’s new evangelization! :tiphat: Big Paulie

 

[marvin]

I don’t see anything wrong with this. As a previous poster pointed out, I’m sure that the parents were warned, and I’m sure that they didn’t take the warning seriously. The fault lies entirely with the parents. I don’t think God will hold the children responsible.

Sorry. Catholicism takes work. If Christ could suffer horribly and die for my sake, I think I can try everything in my power to give thanks once a week.

 

[Lisa_N]

Lurch104:

So now not only are the parents away from the church, the kids have no chance. We should take every oppurtunity given to us to teach children the Gospel message. How sad.

Lurch while I do agree this is very sad, I wonder if it’s the kind of action that should be taken to wake up the parents. From all I’ve learned through RCIA, the PARENTS are to be the religious educators in a family. If the parents are blowing off mass and in effect using CCD as a babysitter or to make themselves feel better about neglecting their duty, then maybe this action will make them think about it a little more and step up to the plate so to speak. I suspect as someone mentioned, the priest did not just wake up one morning and announce 'Yer out!" but that he stated the parents must be committed to the process as well.

JMO
Lisa N

 

[EDB]

Lurch104:

So now not only are the parents away from the church, the kids have no chance. We should take every oppurtunity given to us to teach children the Gospel message. How sad.

The children have no chance anyway. If what you are being taught in CCD is ignored at home - how seriously do you take it!
In my seventh grade CCD class last year all 7 of my students had to take their prayers test 3 times. The prayers test consisted of the Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be and the Sign of the Cross.
What is the point of children receiving the Sacraments if those sacraments don’t mean anything. Most of the children I have taught in the past 3 or 4 years have asked if the Eucharist is the piece of bread or cracker we eat at Mass.
One hour once per week (if their extra-curriculum acitivites don’t interfere) will not teach them the Gospel message if there is no back-up from home. This to me is what is truly sad!

 

[YinYangMom]

Digitonomy:

Interesting approach, although as a parent I’d be a bit ticked off if I had been attending mass at another parish for whatever reason.

Attending Mass at another parish should be the exception not the rule…attending their registered parish once a month while sending thier children to regular religious ed is not indicative of them attending another parish for Mass the other 3 Sundays…

Kudos to the priest, imo…it irritates me to no end to see the religious ed classes full but the masses light…and then they (as a family) do not attend church social functions either - or the lenten/bible study courses available as well.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

I want to comment on one part of this article.

“It’s hurtful,” said Joseph LoPizzo, 38, whose 6-year-old son was booted. “I’ve been a parishioner at that church for 23 years - longer than he’s been the reverend.”

LoPizzo said he paid the $150 for his son’s Thursday afternoon classes last year, but his father-in-law’s illness hampered the family’s church attendance.

I think the illness may be an excuse. This guy shows a great lack of understanding. Reverend is a title, a title given to a priest.

“I’ve just never heard of a church kicking you out,” complained Lisa Nicol, 36, who got a letter saying her 7-year-old twin daughters had been barred from classes. “They should be more welcoming and sensitive.”

Sensitive and welcoming? Give me a break.

 

[YinYangMom]

Lurch104:

So now not only are the parents away from the church, the kids have no chance. We should take every oppurtunity given to us to teach children the Gospel message. How sad.

How much better for the child, though, should the parents wise up and start attending mass as a family regularly in order for their children to receive the sacraments. Good parents would do such a thing…

parents staying away from the Mass and allowing their children to miss out on the sacraments because they don’t want to attend mass is not in the best interest of the child.

 

[fix]

Good for this priest. We need more of this. Does the Church not say that no child should be baptized if there is little chance he/she will not be raised in the faith? Why bother with CCD if the parents are not raising the child in the faith?

The priest is not at fault, the parents are. If these parents are never called to correct themselves, then the Church has failed them. The best way to help these kids is to help the parents see living out the faith is a must.

 

[Lurch104]

BigPaulie:

Many children who attend CCD do not hear the Gospel message. Don’t you remember what CCD stands for:
(Children Coloring and Drawing). Yes I agree it is sad the Children don’t hear the Gospel. That’s why I say, Thank God for Pope Benedict’s new evangelization! :tiphat: Big Paulie

Well, if some catechists don’t take their responsibility seriously, they will have to answer for it. In my class however, my 8th grade students are well prepared to know, love and defend their faith by the time they are confirmed.

I also explain the difference between missing mass due to their parents and willfully missing mass. I only hope that the apologetics I teach my children not only grows within them, but that the spread it to their parents. We are One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic…I think we really tend to forget about that last one.

When I am frustrated with CCD or the RCIA program, I always remind myself that Jesus values each and every soul. Losing even one is not an option. I just keep plugging away when I get the chance. I have no chance when the kids are not in my class.

Your Kingdom Come!

John

 

[Lurch104]

YinYangMom:

How much better for the child, though, should the parents wise up and start attending mass as a family regularly in order for their children to receive the sacraments. Good parents would do such a thing…

parents staying away from the Mass and allowing their children to miss out on the sacraments because they don’t want to attend mass is not in the best interest of the child.

I agree with everything you have said. However, I am not willing to give up on the children. The fact that their parents are dropping them off and paying up the $150 shows some sort of effort on their part. After mass on Sunday, I have nothing more important to do than sharing my time and our faith with my students.

 

[Kay_Walker]

Last year I taught the 8th grade confirmation class at my parish, and the DRE set the basic requirements for receiving the sacrament – Mass attendance was one of them. They were given a form that they had to complete – church, time, celebrant, and then they had to ask another parishioner present to sign the form on the line for the appropriate date. The DRE did take extenuating circumstances into consideration, such as family illness. Only those classes preparing for the sacraments – communion, confession, confirmation – were required to have the Mass attendance form complete.

I know it was a lot of work for her to track these forms. It may not have been a perfect solution, but it was a step in the right direction.

 

[YinYangMom]

Lurch104:

I agree with everything you have said. However, I am not willing to give up on the children. The fact that their parents are dropping them off and paying up the $150 shows some sort of effort on their part. After mass on Sunday, I have nothing more important to do than sharing my time and our faith with my students.

I don’t believe this priest is giving up on the children, though.
In fact, it appears he is doing the best thing he could do for them - getting their parents to join them in their journey.
It’s a wake up call.

I imagine the kids were complaining to mom and dad about not being with their friends anymore and I imagine the parents would have an awfully hard time explaining to them it’s their own fault.

I would be interested to find out how many families started attending after that.

Besides, the children are not going to be abandoned.
They are baptized so they already have the grace of God to guide them. They’ve been exposed to mass and Catholicism and will continue to be. Those parents who refuse to follow the guidelines will find another parish to sign their kids up for babysitting toward the sacraments (especially the ones who complain the most about their kids being ‘denied by the church’).
Hopefully the kids will remember forever their parents’ acceptance or refusal to meet the requirement because later in life it will make a difference in their own faith formation.

 

[Pisio]

Lurch104:

After mass on Sunday, I have nothing more important to do than sharing my time and our faith with my students.

Personally, I think that is part of the problem. For many catechists it is only an hour a week thing. I used to organize the High School youth ministry at my old Parish and when I interviewed a potential volunteer I told them outright it was a 5 - 10 hours a week commintment that involved, prayer and planning with the rest of the group, phonecalls to families on your own time, and then execution of either the Confirmation class, or youth ministry activity. When I held them to that, we managed to reach not only the teens, but their families by our example. Some came back to Church, and some of those began to serve as a family… We, as their Church family took a personal interest in who they were, and in a sense they bought what we were selling. If your priest will not take the first step to reach the (for lack of a better term) fringe families, then you as a parish leader need to.

I respect this priest and his decision. I wish we had more around to draw a line in the sand and say “Hey, this is what God asks of you!”. I pray that there are Catechists and leaders in the parish who will reach out to those 300 families with the priest and draw them back into their Faith Community.

I know that people are busy, but Christ managed to fit the Cross in for us… Where would we be if He had been too busy that day?

Peace,

Pisio

p.s.- Lurch, I am not questioning your dedication as a catechist, only praying that your love and zeal for the Faith will be increased and taken to another level you may not have known it could go to. I have the utmost respect for anyone who chooses to teach the Faith in any capacity, only pray they will always look to do more.