Parents say priest told mourners that son may be kept out of heaven over suicide: report

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The Archdiocese has apologized. The priest in question is temporarily banned from celebrating funerals, and future homilies will be reviewed by a mentor priest.
 
That poor family. I’d have been furious! The dad showed more restraint than most people I know would have.
 
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Shining a light on truth vs. comforting the grieving? Funeral homily in cases of suicide Apologetics
https://www.foxnews.com/us/parents-want-priests-whop-presided-over-sons-funeral-removed This story is making the rounds in the media right now. What do you all think? Obviously, we don’t know what the fate will be of this child, but was it really prudent for Father to focus on this for the homily at the funeral mass? I’m sure Father thought he was shining light on the truth, but what of bring comfort to those who are grieving? Eternal rest grant unto Mason oh Lord…
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This is the other posting of this article here. I posted this a bit early this morning.

This is another report. I can’t help but say, it looks like a rather handsome Church.


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There are a number of other pictures at this link. I’m not familiar with this website:

https://whatsnew2day.com/indignatio...-victim-of-suicide-should-not-come-to-heaven/

I pray the young man finds mercy.

So often, when people do something like this, I know… it’s often mental illness, it might be in these other cases as well but I’m just saying, often for males, young men, boys, they do something like this if they feel that their romantic interests have rejected them, in other words, “a broken heart”. Some armchair psychological analysis if that is not offensive to say.
 
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I noticed something heartbreaking while looking at other news stories about this situation. This poor boy was bullied in life by an adult in a mentor role. That man showed up at his funeral, was asked to leave, and went on to ridicule the family on social media. The priest, also an adult in a mentor role, said things during his funeral that amount to bullying and continued doing so after being asked by his dad to stop. Even in death this poor young man has not been able to escape the bullies in his life.

I pray the Good Lord gives him rest. I pray his family finds comfort and peace. This situation is so wrong
 
It is hard to comment without viewng the funeral speeches.

While I respect the church preaching the wrongness of killing people, including ourselves, if it is done in a crass way or at an inappropriate time then I would not support it.

Again I’d have to see the speech to comment on this case.
 
If I die tomorrow of if I die 50 years from now, I want the priest to ask everyone to pray for my soul. I do not want anyone to assume I am in heaven. When a family has experienced the suicide of a member, their feelings are so raw that pastors can be at a loss. It takes a gifted pastor to preach with compassion, dignity and truth a funeral mass for the most difficult deaths.

Being someone who has sat in the auditorium at the non-Catholic funeral of my godson after he took HIS own life at age 19, the sermon made me so angry I had to restrain myself. The non-denominational pastor spoke how wonderful it is that the young man is free from all pain and with God in heaven. As hundreds of young people sat there, in great pain, this pastor basically told them that suicide is the way out of pain and a golden ticket to heaven. I am getting angry again just thinking of that day, because within a couple of years, another young man who served as a pallbearer that day decided that he would also cash in that golden ticket to heaven.

As others have said, I would want to read the homily. If the priest preached the Church’s teaching, that we do not know the fate of any person at death* and it was spoken in the wrong way, I can see how the family would be shocked. (*Unless they died after baptism without reaching the age/maturity to be guilty of personal sin, or unless they were granted an Apostolic Pardon as they died).

We pray for their soul, we trust the mercy of God, we do not canonize anyone at a funeral Mass.

May this family find a bit of peace, may the media circus end and let them at least find some peace. The horror and hole that suicide leaves in the family is something I would not wish on any human being. Every year I have a Mass said for my sweet godson, when I die I will leave some money so those masses may continue.
 
I went to a Catholic funeral not long ago. To me the sermon sounded, if it is not rude or unkind to say, “generic” and I don’t really find fault with that. Sometimes, respectfully, I think the sermons I hear at regular mass are somewhat “canned” speeches… not specific to that parish yet, I know of one priest who I believe writes very personalized sermons to his parish.

In reading this story, in this case, I think just a boilerplate type of sermon might have worked. Not personalizing what was said.

Speaking of suicides, for anyone interested, I’m mulling over this article that talks about a spate of suicides in two neighboring communities. Sad.

 
Without knowing exactly what was said we can’t really judge this.
LaCuesta mentioned “suicide” six times and wondered out loud if the teen had repented enough to make it to Heaven, Hullibarger’s family said. At one point Jeff Hullibarger, the teen’s father, walked over to the priest and whispered, “Father, please stop,” to no avail.
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I don’t see any problem merely mentioning suicide. I don’t see how saying the word six times of itself is wrong.

Catholic theology is pretty clear that Heaven isn’t easy to obtain. The whole point of a funeral Mass is to pray for the soul of the deceased.
“We wanted him to celebrate how Maison lived, not how he died,” Maison’s mother said.
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Unfortunately how he lived is part of how he died. He chose to take his own life. He might have had diminished culpability, but it was his own life that ended his life.
The couple also claims that LaCuesta denied them the chance to eulogize their son, as had been discussed in advance.
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Eulogies aren’t really proper for a funeral Mass.
The Catholic Church has backed off its tough stance on suicide in recent years, finding that it can be forgiven under certain circumstances.
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That is pretty simplistic.
“Really, the only way for that to happen is for this priest to be removed. We’re afraid that, like the Catholic Church does, they’ll send him off and he’ll do it to somebody else," Jeff Hullibarger said.
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There is tremendous irony here. I understand the father is angry, but where is the forgiveness for the priest? His son can kill himself and gets to Heaven. The priest may have given an inappropriate homily and he has to lose his job?

I am somewhat sympathetic to the parents. The Church has allowed Catholic theology to practically disappear in two ways. It has allowed all suicide to be dismissed as not a sin and it has allowed funerals masses to become canonizations. It is therefore no wonder we have these problems.
 
Leaving aside the “I don’t know what exactly was said so I can’t judge” attitude, I’d say from what I have heard so far, could have been said privately to the family and not said in a memorial service church setting. The parish seems to have had no problem saying that the Father would not be saying anymore funeral masses. Perhaps, they see it as not being correct.
 
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I don’t think it’s the parish—it’s the Archdiocese. Which also apologized.
 
A contributing problem is that Catholics have come to expect a ‘feel good’ celebration of the deceased life. When in fact the Mass (even funeral Mass) is a Celebration of our Lord and that we all are in fact sinners.
 
Donkey said:
A contributing problem is that Catholics have come to expect a ‘feel good’ celebration of the deceased life. When in fact the Mass (even funeral Mass) is a Celebration of our Lord and that we all are in fact sinners.
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Hopefully, there are a lot of Catholics here. Is this the opinion of Catholics? To expect a “feel good” celebration about going to Mass? Not mine and I have been to various Masses meaning Tridentine and so on. I would never, ever, make a presumption such as that, that Catholics go to Mass expecting a “feel good” celebration.

A point of view, is I could see the Good Father saying this as an example to keep other people, youth and others from following the same road.

However, articles do not indicate this is what happened. However, as has been said here repeatedly, one would really need to read what he said.
Jeff Hullibarger and his wife, Linda Hullibarger, who live in Temperance, Michigan, said they had met with Father LaCuesta well before the funeral, going over in detail what they expected in the homily to be delivered by their pastor at Our Lady of Mount Carmel Catholic Church in Temperance, even watching the priest take notes in their meeting.
Bedford's Jeff Wood a 'bully,' say Maison Hullibarger parents
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This opens up another issue to consider, was there some sort of understanding about what this homily might be about?

Thanks to @13pollitos for telling us that this involved bullying, I must not have read the story that closely, however I do see it mentioned in the article in the above link even.

In fact, who bullied him, his football coach is even mentioned in this article. I don’t want to engage in gossip about this coach which it would seem to be if I even related what the article says except it does say the coach went to the funeral, was asked to leave, wrote a social media post and was relieved of his duties at the high school, I guess those are just facts. It seems like a very heated issue.
 
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Victoria33 said:
This opens up another issue to consider, was there some sort of understanding about what this homily might be about?

Thanks to @13pollitos for telling us that this involved bullying, I must not have read the story that closely, however I do see it mentioned in the article in the above link even.

In fact, who bullied him, his football coach is even mentioned in this article. I don’t want to engage in gossip about this coach which it would seem to be if I even related what the article says except it does say the coach went to the funeral, was asked to leave, wrote a social media post and was relieved of his duties at the high school, I guess those are just facts. It seems like a very heated issue.
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All hearsay and gossip and you admit to it so why mention it again?
 
I actually kind if agree with the priest here. For a couple reasons. He is speaking to the living. And suicide should never be encouraged as a way to achieve relief from the pain if life for the depressed. Also, we have a tendency to “cannonize” our dead family when what they may very well need is prayers to help them in purgatory.
 
The concept of suicide is gaining ground as a trendy thing to do. With a wider acceptance of assisted suicide and an uninterrupted increase of suicides among the general population, it appears that more must be said against willful death and more in favor of life.
 
I really would like to know what was said in the homily. The articles I’ve seen all report the parents’ version along with a vague apology by the Archdiocese of Detroit… but what actually was said?

One article I saw noted that the community where this parish is, has seen 4 suicides of teens and young adults in a little over a year. If that’s true, maybe Father was trying to raise awareness of the seriousness of suicide, and did it badly.

I don’t know. I wish the articles had comments from other attendees of the funeral or from the priest or something, so we could read what actually was said.
 
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