Please help

  • Thread starter Thread starter jrogoffmetro
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Wow Yellow bird, what a hurtful thing you have written. You have no idea how it feels to have your husband taken from you over and over to be sent to war. Please do not try to tell me what you would or wouldn’t do because how do you know. And you want to know why I feel judgement from the Catholic church?

For the person who put the Creed on the website. What an awesome prayer. Here is the thing I believe in that prayer. But I no longer trust the Catholic Church or the people who run it. They have abused my trust and I have been affected deeply. I am looking for a relationship with Christ and I have found it. Jesus is walking with me throught his hard time. I pray everyday that he walks with my husband as well.

I don’t get it - Jesus talks about believing in him not the Catholic church. Why must I go there to be right with God. This is a hard question for me.
 
jrogoffmetro said:
My husband is deeply Catholic and currently deployed. I used to be Catholic but and now attending Baptist church with my daughter. He is so angry at me - comparing me leaving the church to cheating on him. I will never go back to the Catholic church and honestly I don’t want to raise our children Catholic. How do I get him to understand that he doesn’t get to choose my faith and that he is overacting. With him being deployed we get very little time to talk and lately all he wants to do is agrue about this.
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Your husband chose you for marriage; a part of the package was your shared Faith.
How sad that you are burdening him with your changes while he’s deployed.
YOU have changed the marriage contract. Why should he accept it?
 
East_Anglican said:
Have you ever given up sectarianism for lent? 😉

Sectarianism is the problem here that is causing pain.
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And is the father to have no (name removed by moderator)ut whatever about the raising of his own children—especially considering that promises WERE made?
 
jrogoffmetro said:
Wow Yellow bird, what a hurtful thing you have written. You have no idea how it feels to have your husband taken from you over and over to be sent to war. Please do not try to tell me what you would or wouldn’t do because how do you know. And you want to know why I feel judgement from the Catholic church?

For the person who put the Creed on the website. What an awesome prayer. Here is the thing I believe in that prayer. But I no longer trust the Catholic Church or the people who run it. They have abused my trust and I have been affected deeply. I am looking for a relationship with Christ and I have found it. Jesus is walking with me throught his hard time. I pray everyday that he walks with my husband as well.

I don’t get it - Jesus talks about believing in him not the Catholic church. Why must I go there to be right with God. This is a hard question for me.
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OMYGOSH, of all the posts on this thread, you have a problem with MINE? Where I said you should let it rest until your husband comes home? And you are right, I would NOT know what it’s like to have my husband taken from me, but guess what? MOST of the posters here wouldn’t know either. You asked for help on a CATHOLIC forum, and I gave you my advice as a Catholic wife. If you only wanted advice from people who have experienced what you have, maybe a military wives forum would’ve been more appropriate.

I feel sorry for your husband. As others have said, he is off doing his duty and NOW is the time you have chosen to leave the faith you BOTH shared. I think that is very selfish of you. You are off following your heart and meanwhile you’re spending what little time you & your husband share fighting over this. Does that make for a good marriage? No. So as I see it, you have two choices, continue on as you have been OR tell your husband that you will put your obvious religious differenes aside until he comes home. Tell him that he needn’t worry about any of this right now. WHICH is the more loving this to do?

If you want to go be Baptist - that is your choice. What I’m saying is NOW isn’t the time to lay that on your husband. How would YOU like it if the roles were reversed and HE was making major life changes in your absence? Changes that had a major impact on your child?

And guess what? My opinon would be the same if your husband were Baptist and you were wanting to be Catholic. Now is NOT the time.
 
Thank all of you who wrote actually suggestions they were helpful and I will pray on them. I was looking for answers and maybe a way back to the Catholic faith for my husband. What I found was hate, said in the name of Jesus. If this is how you minister to the lost I am sorry for you. Perhaps you should rethink your strategies. I believe if my husband saw what you have written to and about me his anger could not be contained. What I have read here makes me think I have made the right choice. I do not think Jesus would ever say anything like what some of you written. If that is how you view Jesus I am sorry for you.

While my husband and I are have our problems we are both deeply commited to love and God and our marraige and our children. I cannot even address those of you who suggested leaving our marraige. God gives us challanges to bring us closer to him and I have no doubt and neither by the way does my husband that we come out of this closer to God and each other. Now that is a faith I can believe in.
 
Sorry yellow bird yours was the last one I read. I hadn’t gotten the the really nasty ones yet:)
 
It seems to me you decided to try out been a baptist because you weren’t happy, now it looks like been a baptist isn’t going to make you happy either, all you are achieving is to spread your unhappiness onto your husband and the rest of the family.

If you want to be happy I suggest you return to the Catholic Church and just reduce your interaction with the people at the church you go to or go to a different parish, as it is the people making you unhappy not the actual Church.
 
Leonius said:
It is cruelty to snatch the children away from the Catholic Faith while the husband is abroad fighting a war and can do nothign about it, now that is cruel.

My participation here is to help her do the right thing, but no doubt you can’t understand that, no doubt you are of the opinion that we should be nice to people even up to the point where we stand by and watch them destroy themselves and their family. There is no nice way to warn people sometimes, even if the truth hurts we still must speak it. Is it charitable to not warn a person of danger? Her decision could cost her everything and she must be warned of that, not simply encouraged to do whatever she wants to do as if no one else matters as much as she does. That is not Christian.

“Am I then become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?”
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You are stating your opinion and nothing more. Jesus never taught this kind of ugliness and he talked to plenty of people in his ministry who were not “orothodox.” The really sad thing, is that your methodology is exactly the kind that would drive any sane person running away from everything you claim to be true. You might want to look at Timothy to learn a bit on how to teach. I recognize that many of the ultra Orthodox think that have a major duty in telling people of their faults as they understand them, but your methods are simply over the top. If you wish to believe that one cannot be saved with your Church, you are more than welcome to do so, but BILLIONS disagree.
 
yellowbird said:
Oh brother. Do you honestly believe this ONE poster represents the entire Catholic Church!!!
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No, I certainly don’t and have no idea why you would think so. The Poster in question however, does serve to lock in her opinion that the Roman Catholic Church is inappropriate for her. That was my point. IF I were RC, I would be furious at what he said, for just that reason. He cements her position. Who would want a church for which that is a spokesperson?

I’ve known hundreds and perhaps thousands of Roman Catholics in my life, and truth be known, I doubt I’ve ever met one that spoke like this. Like most churches, the majority are fine, caring, compassionate people.
 
jrogoffmetro said:
Part of the reason I left the church was the judgement factor I always felt. No matter how much I tried not matter how good I was it was never good enough.
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You were never good enough for WHO?
Who were you trying to be good for?
Who in their right mind was judging you?

Let me ask you this; Do you still believe in the true presence of Christ in the Eucharist?
As a former Baptist, I can assure you they do not.
Even if someone (or multiple people) were judging you unfairly, why would you deprive yourself even more from the spiritual healing power of the Eucharist? For heavens sake, change your parish if need be, but don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater. Judge Catholicism by its teachings, not by those who practice it. We humans are lousy ambassadors for Christ, Catholics, Baptists, you name a group and I’ll name an evil they perform.

I am a convert. I was not raised in the Catholic tradition, so I missed out on knuckle rapping nuns and awkward teenage confessions, by I do understand this - Christ founded one church to lead his sheep. The protestant reformation was the biggest tragedy in church history. Started by good men who felt (quite rightly) that the church was mired in corruption, these reformers wrongly left the church to start out on their own instead of working within the church to bring about change. The Dominicans were able to reform the church centuries before without leaving her, but Luther, Wycliffe, and the like needed immediate gratification and lost sight of the larger goal.
We are One Holy Catholic and Apostolic.
You think you have found acceptance and love within the sanctuary of the Baptist church, but I assure you my sister, those friends are but descendants of those who jumped from this ship we call the Catholic church, drifting aimlessly along in their leaking life raft called sola-scriptura, starving to death without the Eucharist and not even knowing it.

I am sorry your husband has reacted poorly. I cannot fathom his stress from battle in combination with the despair of your decision. If he is at all like me, then he is immensely concerned that you are being led astray. He feels powerless to help, and wants only for you to be safe. I will pray for you and your husband. That you may both find peace and common ground regardless of how you proceed from here.

Please remember, it is the teachings and not the people you should discern. Protestants miss so much of the beautiful fullness of Christ’s teachings because centuries ago they judged the actions of men and turned away from Christ’s church. I truly hope you don’t do the same.

There is no sin too big for God.
We are ALL sinners.
Especially fools who are so pious as to judge you.
You can always come home.

God bless.
 
jrogoffmetro said:
My husband is deeply Catholic and currently deployed. I used to be Catholic but and now attending Baptist church with my daughter. …
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I am truly sorry for the reaction you have received here.

What all of you need most is to be lifted up in our prayers - not prayers about what we think you should do, but rather prayers that God unify your family in the way He knows is best.

As for obeying your husband, the Bible is clear that you must obey God first. While Catholics here will undoubtedly tell you what God wants you to do, the Bible is clear that God has His own way of doing things.

Many times in my life I thought things were moving in the wrong direction only to realize the end result of God’s plan for me was better then I could have imagined.

I would like to ask everyone here to forget how they think things should go for a little while and lift jrogoffmetro and her family up in prayer, to ask God to take control, to draw them together so they will be closer to Him and to each other when all is said and done.

Ginger
 
SpiritMeadow said:
You are stating your opinion and nothing more. Jesus never taught this kind of ugliness and he talked to plenty of people in his ministry who were not “orothodox.”
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So Christ never said things like this?:

"Woe to you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites; because you make clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but within you are full of rapine and uncleanness.

Thou blind Pharisee, first make clean the inside of the cup and of the dish, that the outside may become clean. Woe to you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites; because you are like to whited sepulchres, which outwardly appear to men beautiful, but within are full of dead men’s bones, and of all filthiness. So you also outwardly indeed appear to men just; but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and iniquity." Matthew 23:25-28
SpiritMeadow said:
If you wish to believe that one cannot be saved with your Church, you are more than welcome to do so, but BILLIONS disagree.
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You mean cannot be saved without it right?

Over a billion do agree also, but its ok Gods Truth is not decided by committee, it is revealed by Him through the Church.
 
jrogoffmetro said:
Thank all of you who wrote actually suggestions they were helpful and I will pray on them. I was looking for answers and maybe a way back to the Catholic faith for my husband. What I found was hate, said in the name of Jesus. If this is how you minister to the lost I am sorry for you. Perhaps you should rethink your strategies. I believe if my husband saw what you have written to and about me his anger could not be contained. What I have read here makes me think I have made the right choice. I do not think Jesus would ever say anything like what some of you written. If that is how you view Jesus I am sorry for you.

While my husband and I are have our problems we are both deeply commited to love and God and our marraige and our children. I cannot even address those of you who suggested leaving our marraige. God gives us challanges to bring us closer to him and I have no doubt and neither by the way does my husband that we come out of this closer to God and each other. Now that is a faith I can believe in.
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STOP LISTENING TO US FOOLS!!!
My God, don’t come looking for answers from the very pot that burnt you!
Please go see a priest and let him know how you feel.
Stop stop stop doing this to yourself.
Opinions are like butts, everyone has them.
Give it some time and you will find the same idiocy in Baptists.
They’ll condemn you for thinking about returning, for not trying to save your husband, for allowing your children to pray to Mary.
People are INCOMPASSIONATE and SHALLOW of mind.
I apologize for them and will pray for us all.
God help us when we can’t help those in most need.

Please go see a priest.
Leave here as quick as you can.
 
jrogoffmetro said:
My husband is deeply Catholic and currently deployed. I used to be Catholic but and now attending Baptist church with my daughter. He is so angry at me - comparing me leaving the church to cheating on him. I will never go back to the Catholic church and honestly I don’t want to raise our children Catholic. How do I get him to understand that he doesn’t get to choose my faith and that he is overacting. With him being deployed we get very little time to talk and lately all he wants to do is agrue about this.
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I don’t think that you will be able to go into this with your husband in depth while he is deployed. It seems that your choice to leave the Catholic church was very emotional. It’s not something that you, as a couple, can come to terms with over short conversations while he was deployed.

There are some variables here:
  1. Did you leave the Church before or after he was deployed? If after, he is probably feeling a bit ambushed. I realize you probably couldn’t control the timing. But speaking as one with a military upbringing and whose husband has been away for long periods of time, many deployed spouses find it harder to deal with drastic changes that happen while they are away.
If this happened before he was deployed, how did you leave it with him? If you agreed to keep taking your daughter to the Catholic Church, you are making a unilateral decision on a joint agreement and that is never a good move whether its about religion or anything else in marriage.
  1. How old is your daughter? If she is of age to attend CCE, it is your responsibility as the custodial parent to get her there. This may be hard for you since you aren’t going to the Catholic Church now but it is not really a choice. It was part of what you agreed to when you got married. In fact, if you agree to that with your husband, even if you continue going to the Baptist Church yourself, it might be a middle ground where you can find agreement.
It is true that he doesn’t get to chose your faith. But it is not all that off-base to compare leaving the Church, or more specifically, taking your daughter out of the Church, to cheating on him. Both are breaking of the marriage vows. I am sure he had a picture in his mind of what his married life in a Catholic family would be like. Whether that picture was realistic or not, you have now shaken up his view of the future.

You asked for help. This is my advice. Try not to fight. Keep your husband, who is doing his duty to his country, as happy as you can while he is away. Don’t give him more to worry about. Don’t make unilateral decisions about your daughter. Try to keep all your marriage vows, including your promise to raise your children in the Catholic faith. Pray really hard and make sure that you are not leaving the Church out of pride or because of what fallible human members did or did not do.
 
jrogoffmetro said:
Thank all of you who wrote actually suggestions they were helpful and I will pray on them. I was looking for answers and maybe a way back to the Catholic faith for my husband. What I found was hate, said in the name of Jesus. If this is how you minister to the lost I am sorry for you. Perhaps you should rethink your strategies. I believe if my husband saw what you have written to and about me his anger could not be contained. What I have read here makes me think I have made the right choice. I do not think Jesus would ever say anything like what some of you written. If that is how you view Jesus I am sorry for you.

While my husband and I are have our problems we are both deeply commited to love and God and our marraige and our children. I cannot even address those of you who suggested leaving our marraige. God gives us challanges to bring us closer to him and I have no doubt and neither by the way does my husband that we come out of this closer to God and each other. Now that is a faith I can believe in.
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Please. Consider speaking to a military chaplain - of any faith.
I can’t imagine any one of them encouraging you to engage your husband about this.
He is deployed. He is a faithful Catholic. How can he possibly give attention to this?
 
Yes, a couple of posts may have been a little harsh such as divorce. But the rest were right on line. You are calling them hateful when really they are truthful, you are calling them hateful because I suppose you wanted agreement with your decision. Just because many do not agree with you does not make them hateful toward you. You picked the WRONG time to make that decision. We don’t know what your problem is with the Church as you never stated it. Maybe you should but whatever it is I am sure it could have been worked out. What you are now doing to your husband is very selfish on your part and you should have waited until he returned home to discuss it with him. Marriage is a two partner deal and one should not make decisions contary to the others wishes when they are away and can do nothing about it. As the bible says, the man is the head of the house as Christ is the head of the Church. Just remember that when you go against his wishes.
 
catharina said:
Please. Consider speaking to a military chaplain - of any faith.
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Chaplains in the military have to be compassionate to all peoples faith because they just dont have the man power to have one of every belief. This is probably your best bet to get any advice that is worth listening to because of the contents of this box (speaking of this website )👍
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I am sure this post will go on and on but I can no longer be a part of it. I think this is not the place for someone who is searching for Christ to go. I hope you treat the next person who needs help with kinder gentler hands. You never know the state of mind people are in when they post. Perhaps leading them with the love of Christ is the way to bring them to your faith.
 
You did receive the love of Christ in our posts but you rejected them because that was not what you wanted to hear. You wanted to hear agreement with your decision but instead what you hear was the truth. The last few posts are correct. You need help.
 
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