Political views and marriage--has yours been affected?

[GW]

Whatevergirl,

I share your husband’s concern that America is now “gone socialist” and is rapidly losing its original founding freedoms, principles and morals collectively as a nation.

Having said that, there’s little that can be done at this point, as the Democratic Party has total control of all key systems (government, education, mass media) and is the party that is engineering all these changes quite by intention and by decades of hard work. (You gotta give the Democrats credit for their relentless pursuit of the Marxist utopia.)

Though the reality is breaking your husband’s heart, he is helpless to do anything about it, and talk shows like O’Reilly, while informative, are just talk, not action. So they merely work up the audience in the way your husband gets worked up yet offer the audience no agenda or plan of action to do something that might change things for the better. Follow? They talk about right and wrong, but they offer no actionable solutions for the audience to participate in (other than voting every 2 years).

Having said all this, I offer a two-step solution: your husband must agree to limit his “news habit” and re-focus on his family, where he really can make a difference by teaching the kids right and wrong and good citizenship. That’s probably his only sphere of real influence—unless he’s a governor, senator, or educator. And for you, I suggest you show firm solidarity with his values and offer him moral support for basic right and wrong and good citizenship. Otherwise you may be perceived as engaging in a subversive spousal resistance/betrayal of some sort, which I doubt you really want to do.

If you both agree to follow this advice, I know from experience it can help. If you do nothing, this wedge will drive even deeper, as America really is in deep social and economic trouble, and your husband really is seeing it and is beginning to panic.

 

[DL82]

This is why I get so annoyed with American politics, it’s so full of hate. I can’t say British politics are a lot better, though maybe it’s easier to ignore the hate when it’s shut away behind the cover of right-wing newspapers instead of on the air-waves.

I had to sit in the back of a taxi recently and listen to the driver talk about our government in a hate-filled tirade of 4-letter words, which I really resented. I didn’t tip, though I wish I’d had the guts to tell him why.

There are some people who think it’s their duty not only to keep a critical watch on the government but actively to hate whoever’s in power. (We’ve had a 4 month running battle over politicians’ expenses here in the UK, which has reached the ridiculous levels of querying why people bought toilet seats, lightbulbs, garden furniture, and similar on their expenses accounts. I could understand the outrage if our politicians were buying speedboats and caviar, but it’s all just so petty.) Sadly, that kind of pointless hate for politicians masks the real issues (I haven’t heard a real story about the legislation being passed in Parliament since this stupid scandal broke) and plays into the hands of hate mongers, like the white-supremacist BNP, who won two seats in recent European elections, which makes me ashamed to be British.

Hate achieves nothing.

Getting back on topic (sorry, rant over) I did notice that when I was engaged and thinking of getting married, my views did change and I became more right wing. I think when you’re single you can think about issues in ideal terms, what’s in everyone’s interests, but as a married person, particularly as a married man, you have to take the interests of your wife and family first, and you become opposed to any government that wants to take what you’ve made for your family and give it to others. It’s an urge that has to be resisted though if we’re to have charity towards our neighbour.

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

Honestly I think we need to keep informed about what is happening, and since some media sources choose to be biased by omission, one has to go to some other sources and use them as a source of info, that one can then look into oneself (at least that is the way I see it ). In short, I don’t trust, for example, many of the cable news channels, since I have witnessed their bias soooooooo many times (by misleading and by omission), so I might look for an alternative source, and then verify the information from the alternative source to see if it makes sense. We do need to know what is going on, and we do need to take as much action as we can (whether it be contacting our politicians when an important vote is coming up, or whether it be making sure we vote for good candidates and help others get informed, etc etc).

ETA: I had to laugh when the media made a big deal about Rush and his comment that he “hopes the President fails”. I heard the whole thing when he said it originally and he said something that I totally agreed with,it went along the lines that if the President getting everything he wanted and promised (for example, the FOCA, certain ideas some would consider socialist, etc) was him succeeding, then he wanted him to fail, since in Rush’s opinion his failing to get these things passed would be a success for the country. Of course, the media just ran with it and I kept hearing how “Rush wants the country to fail, Rush wants our president to fail, what a hater, how horrible, yadda yadda…”.

 

[shannyk]

WG, I think his anger is really fear. Fear makes him feel unmanly, so he turns it macho and shows it as anger.

I’m fearful, too. I’m scared my kids won’t have the same America I did. If Obama gets his way on everything he wants, The United States will be unrecognizable! Government will own and run everything, our borders will not exist in any real sense, our economy will be destroyed in service of environmental policies for a problem that does not exist, and an open, active racist, and 2nd Amendment hater, seems to be about a day from being confirmed to the Supreme Court.

How can we not be fearful?!

I agree your husband should not be taking it out on you. Totally unfair. He needs to listen to Rush’s humor. It seems he’s ignoring that part! Rush uses humor to try and relieve us from the fear and anger for awhile. And he constantly reminds his listeners that this country is too resilient to be brought down by one bad President. Seems your husband is tuning out those parts through his own bitterness filter. If he can’t listen without doing that, then maybe he should give it up.

Remind him that it took Carter to get us Reagan. That should soothe a rabid, fire-breathing conservative. I know it helps me a little when I feel bleak.

This is a poor excuse, fear, IMHO for anyone (not WG’s DH specifically). How can you not be fearful? Choose not to be. Remember that we are commanded not to be. Fear NOT is stated dozens of times in scripture. Choose deliberately to be hopeful and not fearful. Honestly, the fact that some people are letting Rush freaking Limbaugh or Hannity or Olberman or whomever, get to them to the point where they are sad or afraid or letting it come between them and FAMILY (i.e people who actually care about you) speaks to the greater issue of disorder that plagues society. Idolizing conservatism is not less wrong than idolizing liberalism. In a nutshell, put God first and there is no reason or excuse to fear.

And stop giving Obama so much credit, he’s just a man.

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

About the remark on Palin being involved in Michael Jackson’s death (I hadn’t heard that one ha), I can see how it could upset someone. I personally am sick and tired of all the personal attacks on Palin, I think it has gotten waaaaaaaaaaay out of hand. I mean, I laughed when Bush was getting accused of causing Katrina (and I meant the hurricane itself, not the aftermath), there are crazies out there always, but I think the attacks on Palin have gotten to a horrible level, much worse than any attacks any of the other candidates from the last elections received, and so even if it is humorous in how ridiculous it is (the Michael Jackson comment), it is sad to hear of one more personal attack on Palin… I mean, when her little baby is getting insults there is something wrong with people.

 

[canadianguy1143]

All media is biased but some people are moreso than others. I don’t get Rush on the radio so I can’t comment on him. Hannity, I have been guarded about what he says since he attacked Father Euteneur about a few years ago, and I think when Alan Colmes left his show, Hannity’s Reagan Republican bias is so forefront that I dismiss anything he says about Obama.

I do like O’Reilly as he comes across as an Independent like myself. I like his informative reports that I watch on Foxnews.com video’s. As for Olberman, I don’t bother with MSNBC.

I listen to Beck and while it is sad that a Catholic has gone to the Mormon religion, I am not going to dismiss his journalism because of it. He reported extensively the Tea Parties and as a journalist so should he.

I watch the news especially in the US because what happens in the US affects the world, whether we like it or not.

Reading some of the posts here, I must say I would rather be a TRUTHFUL NEGATIVE person than a DISHONEST POSITIVE person. While we shouldn’t have fear in our lives, the fact that there are so many hard working parents who are out of work or near to be out of work and worried about putting food on the table and having a roof over their heads, can’t help but be fearful. Even Jesus during his Passion had fear.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Part of your husband’s ire towards Obama may be a feeling of helplessness. He probably feels like as the man and head of the household, he is suppossed to be protecting his family and providing a secure future for them. He may feel that Obama is removing that capacity for him because of the direction his taking the country in. When he speaks out against Obama or liberal agendas that he feels threaten his values, he feels like he is at least taking some control towards the situation. So, in a way his seemingly harsh words may actually in his mind be a way of protecting his wife and kids in the only way he really knows how at the moment.

This is exactly what I was coming here to say. Your husband is upset because he is looking at the long view of things. And it does look disturbing.

Lots of us are extremely concerned about the direction things are going, morally and financially in this country. And I think a lot of the fear and anger is from the recognition that while a president is only a man, he can make mistakes that can take years to correct.

Having said that, the beauty of our system of government is that there is always some election right around the corner,and those who feel powerless can get involved in local campaigns and help elect people who can stymie some of the idiocy coming out of Washington. Obama can’t do anything without a House and Senate behind him. THOSE are the people one can focus on in off-year elections. 2010 is right around the corner!

I take the long view with talk radio… I’ve seen how some things they hyperventilated over 15years ago never happened. And stuff they didn’t even see coming hit us between the eyes.

Maybe if your husband, every other day, turned the radio off and used that time to pray the Rosary with you, or went for a walk and read Scripture he’d see that Ecclesiastes is right… there’s nothing new under the sun. His job, as another poster wisely said, is to raise his kids and instruct them to be responsible voters in the future and to transmit his values to his family.

For those posters here who talk about “right wing hate” I have news for you… that’s not where I hear the hate coming from. The story about the decapitation of the Bush effigy is mild compared to other things I hear.

Whatevergirl, you may not be as far apart from your husband politically as you think. It’s just he as a man is reacting to it in more of a guard dog fashion and like a man, because he probably quite literally sees the president’s current policies as endangering his own family’s safety and stability. And there is nothing that causes more anger than to see an injustice or a problem and to feel totally powerless to stop it.

That is where he maybe needs to increase his prayer life. Pray for Obama’s conversion to a greater respect for human life. Pray for him to have wisdom. Maybe if he fasted. Some demons can only be cast out by prayer and fasting. And know that it’s one thing to campaign for things. And a politician is a self-perpetuating machine. Obama is not a stupid man, whatever else he may be. If he wants to be re-elected, he’s going to have to alter some of his viewpoints and change the course of some of his campaign ideas because in the real world, it’s not working as well as he wants. Life and reality and other countries’ actions have a way of blocking the best laid plans of mice and men… Pray that he will make wise choices. We all need to be praying for our country’s leaders. If they do not rule as God would have them, they’re going to run us all into a ditch.

The radio hosts can point out problems, but I see too often it’s the stuff no one saw coming that really causes problems for us. Maybe if your husband redirected his energy to things he CAN control, finding ways to protect and provide for his own family during this time, he wouldnt’ be so angry and frustrated. And it may help you if you can see all this in a different light. Not the “Wow, I never saw this extreme political side of you… you’re scaring me” but a “You really do care what happens to the world we live in and how it will affect your wife and children!”

 

[LittleMother]

I know the nicest people on earth but when they turn on Rush, Sean Hannity, Keith Olbermann and the rest of them, they turn into other people. If you listen to how the country is going to hell for several hours at a time it is bound to effect your mood. I finally got tired of it a few years ago and turned it all off and just listen to music at work or in the car.
I am not saying people should quit caring, but limit the amount of hate talk that is coming into your life.

That is what I have been through and noticed

I agree with this completely, shut it off! Pray for our politicians and our country!

 

[cajhockey]

Where was your husband when McCain was walking around in his $500 shoes? And I doubt the president has the authority to use tax payer money to purchase personal items.

 

[SaltySirena]

Where was your husband when McCain was walking around in his $500 shoes? And I doubt the president has the authority to use tax payer money to purchase personal items.

Good point. I wish I had as much money as the POOREST person in Congress, because they are ALL rich!

 

[cajhockey]

Good point. I wish I had as much money as the POOREST person in Congress, because they are ALL rich!

congress gets paid $168,000 so that is definitely not poor and only slightly rich. I have a feeling they make more money on the side though doing extra stuff. Most politicians probably come from rich families anyway to support their massive advertising spending for re-election.

I wouldnt be so hard on Obama. For every complaint you have on Obama I could bring up two more things that bush did. I’m not one of those people who praises everything he does either. I view all people objectively. I really do believe though that Obama at least wants to help people. You can argue all you want on whether or not his strategies are actually helpful.

 

[whatevergirl]

*Liberano, I agree…I think I can handle my reactions a bit better, and we have been on vacation now and will be through next week…and you know what? He only had one discussion about Obama with one of his sisters who voted for him, and he remained calm. Nothing since then…and he’s not watching the news. So, maybe a little break was in order.

I agree with the posters who speak about how much the repubs spend too…oh, I know! I tell him this, but sometimes he only sees red with this new administration. I think you hit the nail on the head Liberano, and others said it too…he fears what might happen, and for men, it’s important to protect their families…and he feels helpless to a degree. I told him though, we are all helpless…God is in charge though, and will always provide. He will never lose. It helps when he hears me say this…

Thanks to all for your advice. I have a few moments here before heading off to bed…we are in PA on vacation, and it’s brrrr chilly tonight. Compared to Florida, anyways!! Enjoy your weekends, all. *

 

[Sheeniac]

I am not saying people should quit caring, but limit the amount of hate talk that is coming into your life.

That is what I have been through and noticed

Hate talk?

People voicing their opinions is NOT hate talk, even if they are feisty! I dislike liberal commentators, but only think those who actually wish death on other people are spewing ‘hate’.

 

[Cat]

whatevergirl, I haven’t read your whole thread–sorry.

But I sympathize with your husband. He has the responsibility of providing for a wife and children, and he sees what is happening to this country and worries that the time will come soon when he won’t be able to support his family, and for a man, that is devastating.

I’M worried, and I don’t listen to talk radio very often or watch the news much. I do read the news online or in the newspaper, and frankly, I’m extremely gloomy. I think that barring a miracle, our country is on the brink of extinction. I’m sick at heart for my children, and wonder what kind of America they will live in. I think that Pres. Obama and his cronies want to establish a New America that eliminates personal freedoms. I have a very sick feeling that we won’t recover from this one. I sure hope I’m wrong. I’m just glad that my father lives on a farm. At least we’ll be able to grow our own food. He has guns, too, so maybe we can actually protect that food for a few months.

I’m not kidding.

I’m usually pretty confident in the U.S. Constitution and our U.S. government checks and balances, but I personally think that Pres. Obama doesn’t think much of the Constitution and is seeking to see it repealed. I think he has a brave new world in his head and he’s going to keep pushing until Obamerica is reality. (I made that word up, I didn’t hear it on Rush or Hannity.)

I wish I could find a ray of sunshine here, but I really can’t. So I sympathize with your husband.

My only suggestion is to ask him if he’ll pray the Divine Mercy chaplet with you everyday. It helps me a little.

I’m just glad that my husband and I became Catholics before the end.

Sorry I can’t be more cheery. It just makes me so sad to see the end of the U.S. as we’ve known it for over 200 years. I go on with my life and try to act as though everything is OK and try not to be gloomy or argumentative with people. At this point, I don’t have the heart to argue. It’ll do no good. I don’t believe the country can recover. I guess you have the right idea–just go on living our lives normally as long as we can, and hope that the New America is going to work out for everyone. I’ll miss being able to keep my income.

 

[cajhockey]

whatevergirl, I haven’t read your whole thread–sorry.

But I sympathize with your husband. He has the responsibility of providing for a wife and children, and he sees what is happening to this country and worries that the time will come soon when he won’t be able to support his family, and for a man, that is devastating.

I’M worried, and I don’t listen to talk radio very often or watch the news much. I do read the news online or in the newspaper, and frankly, I’m extremely gloomy. I think that barring a miracle, our country is on the brink of extinction. I’m sick at heart for my children, and wonder what kind of America they will live in. I think that Pres. Obama and his cronies want to establish a New America that eliminates personal freedoms. I have a very sick feeling that we won’t recover from this one. I sure hope I’m wrong. I’m just glad that my father lives on a farm. At least we’ll be able to grow our own food. He has guns, too, so maybe we can actually protect that food for a few months.

I’m not kidding.

I’m usually pretty confident in the U.S. Constitution and our U.S. government checks and balances, but I personally think that Pres. Obama doesn’t think much of the Constitution and is seeking to see it repealed. I think he has a brave new world in his head and he’s going to keep pushing until Obamerica is reality. (I made that word up, I didn’t hear it on Rush or Hannity.)

I wish I could find a ray of sunshine here, but I really can’t. So I sympathize with your husband.

My only suggestion is to ask him if he’ll pray the Divine Mercy chaplet with you everyday. It helps me a little.

I’m just glad that my husband and I became Catholics before the end.

Sorry I can’t be more cheery. It just makes me so sad to see the end of the U.S. as we’ve known it for over 200 years. I go on with my life and try to act as though everything is OK and try not to be gloomy or argumentative with people. At this point, I don’t have the heart to argue. It’ll do no good. I don’t believe the country can recover. I guess you have the right idea–just go on living our lives normally as long as we can, and hope that the New America is going to work out for everyone. I’ll miss being able to keep my income.

Give obama some time. Its not like he is a complete idiot. The guy graduated from Columbia and Harvard Law school. Obama has had nothing to do with the current state of economy.

 

[Teen4Christ]

Give obama some time. Its not like he is a complete idiot. The guy graduated from Columbia and Harvard Law school. Obama has had nothing to do with the current state of economy.

Thank you for saying it. Alot of hate for obama here. He has had some stances that I agree aren’t very good on some issues, but he has hasn’t had much to do with the current state of the economy.

And I know this is a tad OT, sorry WG.

 

[Cat]

Give obama some time. Its not like he is a complete idiot. The guy graduated from Columbia and Harvard Law school. Obama has had nothing to do with the current state of economy.

I am not impressed because someone graduates from Columbia and Harvard Law school. That doesn’t mean that they are intelligent when it comes to practical issues that affect Americans. He is a lawyer. That doesn’t mean that he knows enough about the economy or health care to totally reshape it.

And his religion is a sham–he spent 17 years under the teaching of Rev. Wright–you can’t tell me that this doesn’t affect a man’s thinking.

And perhaps he doesn’t have much to do with the current state of economy, but he sure as heck has EVERYTHING to do with the fixing of it and the disaster that it is becoming as a result of his reckless spending, mainly by taxing the rich.

And then there’s the war. He’s doing exactly the same things that Pres. Bush was doing, except that he goes behind the backs of our military and undermines them by apologizing for the U.S. And it’s not working. Pres. Putin made mincemeat out of him. I doubt that the Korean or the Iranian presidents are paying any attention to him. And other countries are not jumping on board the Obamawagon to go to Afghanistan. As for Africa, NO president invested more money in Africa than Pres. Bush!

 

[Sheeniac]

I don’t think that liberals understand the depths of our despair. My SO is a conservative like I am, and dislikes Obama. He however gets very upset, whereas I know that God is in command.

Something comes back to me that I had heard on a recording of … Madrid? Hahn? I can’t recall - one of the ‘names’.

He said to recall that there is no longer a strong Christian community in Corinth, and other areas from the NT. There’s no guarantee that our country will continue to be blessed with a strong Christian presence.

So I look at our freedoms and our political structure, and see Obama and his ilk chipping away at the foundation of our country, and try to remember that we are but pilgrims on this planet.

It’s not so much the little things, but the big CHANGES that he’s is trying to make.

Intelligence means little - a good and strong character means everything.

I think the best thing for your husband to do is focus on what he can do in his own life - network with like minded individuals to help more conservative candidates at the local levels, get closer to God, vote in the local elections and write letters to the editors of various papers. Letters help to reflect what the community is thinking, and were a letter of his to get published, it would help others like him.

 

[cajhockey]

I don’t think that liberals understand the depths of our despair. My SO is a conservative like I am, and dislikes Obama. He however gets very upset, whereas I know that God is in command.

Something comes back to me that I had heard on a recording of … Madrid? Hahn? I can’t recall - one of the ‘names’.

He said to recall that there is no longer a strong Christian community in Corinth, and other areas from the NT. There’s no guarantee that our country will continue to be blessed with a strong Christian presence.

So I look at our freedoms and our political structure, and see Obama and his ilk chipping away at the foundation of our country, and try to remember that we are but pilgrims on this planet.

It’s not so much the little things, but the big CHANGES that he’s is trying to make.

Intelligence means little - a good and strong character means everything.

I think the best thing for your husband to do is focus on what he can do in his own life - network with like minded individuals to help more conservative candidates at the local levels, get closer to God, vote in the local elections and write letters to the editors of various papers. Letters help to reflect what the community is thinking, and were a letter of his to get published, it would help others like him.

Three things

God is not going to just save our country. He didnt save it when Bush was in office and hes not going to save it now. God let’s us practice our free will to do whatever we want.

Intelligence actually means a lot. Id take the smartest man in the world over an uneducated good ole country boy in the race for president. As long as the in
telligent candidate is willing to do whatever he can to help the country.

This Country definitely needs big changes. I dont know if these changes are the right changes though. I can read about socialized healthcare all day and still arrive undecided. There is way too much information for one to have all of it laid out to him. Same goes for the big spending. My econ professor agreed with the bailout, other econ prof disagreed. How am I suppose to know which expert’s side to take?

 

[SaltySirena]

Give obama some time. Its not like he is a complete idiot. The guy graduated from Columbia and Harvard Law school. Obama has had nothing to do with the current state of economy.

NOPE!! Sorry, we’re six months in now… Obama supporters cannot claim this anymore. Never mind that it was the mortgage crisis that started it all, and Obama and the Democrats are the ones who were firmly in bed with Fannie and Freddie.