Even when masturbation is an ingrained habit from child hood?
My point is that one is obligated not to sin and it can’t be a form of penance to do something you are obligated to do. Additional effort. Stricter observance. This kind of thing. Yes. But not just that one will not sin.
I think with a habit that ingrained, it could be considered penance.
A habit mitigates culpability but it doesn’t give entitlement. This means that just because a person has a bad habit, that person doesn’t have a right to do the sinful thing. A penance can involve doing something we aren’t otherwise obligated to do or perhaps giving up something we are entitled do, but
not masturbating can’t be a form of penance, if you ask me.
The suffering endured in fighting the temptation can have a lot of redeeming power and perhaps as a penance for one’s sins, one could dedicate himself to faithfully rejecting temptations of masturbation and sticking fast to chastity. But by not masturbating one is merely not sinning, so “abstinence from masturbation” could not be a penance per se, although I think special efforts and focus could be.
As a catholic, I am obligated to do my best to quit
Exactly. The obligation already exists, so it’s not really a good matter for penance.
but I’ve tried so hard to go cold turkey and after a few weeks it can become unbearable and I feel stressed and tense and it’s a very physical feeling too. Not neccesarily pain but it is uncomfortable. Coffee drinkers could relate to the same feeling Im sure but it is amplified with sexual addicts because of the levels of dopamine and other neuro chemicals released by the brain during sexual activities. Sexual addictions and habits are comparable on a scale with addictions to brain altering drugs like LSD, cocain, heroin, meth, ect because the same neuro chemicals are invovled with those drugs.
Yes, I know what you’re talking about. I’m single and I’m not exactly a dead fish. While I’ve never masturbated (which doesn’t mean I’m oh so great, I simply had a good family and frankly, it often feels like I’m getting a much better treatment from God than I deserve, in terms of not getting around to this or that sin), but sometimes being lonely can be felt physically, even though you want nothing to do with any kind or form of sexual fantasising. So you don’t think about sex, or even about women, but the pain or whatever you call it is there. Got to detach oneself from it, as concentrating on combating it will not do. It’s like with purely physical injury. If you stop thinking about it, it hurts less. Or when it’s cold. If you shiver and complain, it’s so cold it hurts. If you flex your chest and march on, it’s quite manageable. The point is not getting preocuppied with the thing that gives you so much trouble.
Most if not all men who are normal have these desires and hormones. Nature (God) made our bodies that way to encourage procreation in humans at a time when humans lived in tribes and groups ( stone age ) for those of you who believe in Evolution.
( Evolution isn’t contrary to the catholic faith so long as you believe God willed it to ultimately be us today )
Yeah, the desires are natural, but what we do with them is our responsibility, including the possibility of sinning, and abstaining from sin isn’t really penance of the same kind as, say, giving alms or wearing a hair shirt or praying long into the night. However, penance can involve being extra nice to people, being extra diligent in our duties, being extra persistent and faithful in our suffering. So what you describe relates to penance in some way, but the decision not to masturbate is always a decision not to sin, not a decision to do penance.
Imagine if sex or anything sexual brought up feelings of pain or disgust, there wouldn’t be many humans today. Same with animals. Humans are not animals because God gave us the ability to control our desires and instincts but sexual ones are sometimes very powerful if ingrained habits. If someone did it once then yes it is probably very easy to not do it again vs. someone who’s been doing it for 15 years 12 of which they had no clue it was wrong. My CCD teaching as a kid and teenager never talked about sexuality or common mortal sins at all.
(took sexuality course and pyschology course at my university )
Yes, but those habits being so hard, while that may reduce our culpability, it doesn’t give us rights. So by not masturbating, we aren’t giving up any right, nor are we doing anything more than our duty. However, as I said, extra effort, extra diligence, those things are very close to penance and perhaps they could be a form of penance in themselves. But not the mere fact of not masturbating.
She didn’t ask about women. But I’ll guess I’ll say this, it’s always a good idea to try your best to identify with what the other person is going through. You may have to look at yourself, and see where your own faults are. We all have weaknesses in one area or another. In that way you may be able to understand the process of turning away from sin. Understanding that you may be better able to help the other – if he/she is willing to try. Chances are we will never be sin free this side of heaven, but the important thing is to not stop trying.
All you say is true, but it is also important that not only men have this problem. From the Opening Poster’s words, I am a little worried that she might see porn or disordered sexuality as primarily or predominantly men’s problem, rather than women’s. That is not entirely true and I wouldn’t like the OP to grow firm in a conviction that while women are pure, men are porn addicts. I probably exaggerate a fair lot, but if I say this much, then maybe just a little will sink in.
