Pornography, why do men do this?

[mrpathetic]

It is good that he says he wants to overcome it. My husband does not. He says “I’m a man. What do you want me to do?”

I would advise you to do the following: The next time you catch him viewing porn, start packing your bags. When he asks why, give him this retort: “I am a woman. What do you want me to do?”

I think that will get the point across.

You need to provide your husband with choices - you, or the porn. He is a free creature, made so by the will of God. If he choses the porn, that is his choice, and he can someday explain it to God.

If he choses you, he has made the right choice. Then send him to Every Man’s Battle.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

I have seen some of the stuff my very immature husband looks at- it is all about objectifying the woman into a 2 dimensional object to be used. It is all about having power over someone, based on what I was able to see. There are lots of types of free porn out there. I was able to see what he was searching for, and I cannot even say it here.
…
Be very careful, though. This is a big red flag that I took as boys will be boys while dating, but there was WAY more going on than I realized at the time.

As a parent, one of my biggest fears is how this will affect my kids. Too many parents don’t bother to monitor their kids’ internet usage or talk to them about sex and how to deal with it in a mature way. I’ve seen firsthand how the porn industry has “progressed,” to the point where today’s “mainstream” product is exponentially more degrading than the most extreme stuff from 20 years ago. I’ve talked to kids who view this as normal and who honestly expect that any girls they date should be open to anything they’ve seen on a computer screen. I’ve talked to parents whose daughters have allowed themselves to be abused because they’ve seen videos of the same thing and don’t have the self-respect or wisdom to say no to a boy who expects such things from them.

A year or so ago, my son used a sexual term he’d heard online and from a few friends in front of our daughters. He thought it was hilarious and couldn’t understand why I got upset over it, especially because the girls and my wife had no idea what he was talking about. He thought it was even funnier to push the issue and keep saying it even after I’d explained to him quite clearly why it was wrong. He finally got the message once I showed him that, even at 17, he wasn’t too old for the Lifebouy treatment.

I think one goal of the porn industry and, more and more, even large segments of the mainstream media, is to utterly objectify and degrade women. If you can get a man to view the porn stars as glorified pieces of meat who are not only meant to be abused but who truly enjoy it as well, then it doesn’t take much to get him to view other women in the same way. If a woman or girl is no better than an object, then it won’t bother you to see them degraded, to see young girls barely dressed in clothes ads, etc. I think it goes a long way toward devaluing life and traditional institutions (i.e., marriage).

 

[Lifeisamazing]

As a parent, one of my biggest fears is how this will affect my kids. Too many parents don’t bother to monitor their kids’ internet usage or talk to them about sex and how to deal with it in a mature way. I’ve seen firsthand how the porn industry has “progressed,” to the point where today’s “mainstream” product is exponentially more degrading than the most extreme stuff from 20 years ago. I’ve talked to kids who view this as normal and who honestly expect that any girls they date should be open to anything they’ve seen on a computer screen. I’ve talked to parents whose daughters have allowed themselves to be abused because they’ve seen videos of the same thing and don’t have the self-respect or wisdom to say no to a boy who expects such things from them.

A year or so ago, my son used a sexual term he’d heard online and from a few friends in front of our daughters. He thought it was hilarious and couldn’t understand why I got upset over it, especially because the girls and my wife had no idea what he was talking about. He thought it was even funnier to push the issue and keep saying it even after I’d explained to him quite clearly why it was wrong. He finally got the message once I showed him that, even at 17, he wasn’t too old for the Lifebouy treatment.

I think one goal of the porn industry and, more and more, even large segments of the mainstream media, is to utterly objectify and degrade women. If you can get a man to view the porn stars as glorified pieces of meat who are not only meant to be abused but who truly enjoy it as well, then it doesn’t take much to get him to view other women in the same way. If a woman or girl is no better than an object, then it won’t bother you to see them degraded, to see young girls barely dressed in clothes ads, etc. I think it goes a long way toward devaluing life and traditional institutions (i.e., marriage).

WOW. Thank you for a wonderful post. I believe that porn images are perceived as normal by my husband, and that I owe it to him to behave that way and that he also should be able to consume it since he is a “man”. I believe many men, especially young men, have been over exposed and the result is they begin to think that is normal and even their right to degrade women. They begin to think they are not men if they don’t buy into it. Young girls too. I am so sad for young girls. Without firm support and guidance; they are falling into terrible traps.

I had often pondered, if we had a girl instead, if my husband’s attitude would be this way right now. I think a lot of men become better for having a daughter. Instead, here I am holding our precious son just post delivery and my jerk of a husband is pondering “I can’t wait to see the girls he gets in high school. He’ll date the cheerleaders with the big …”. I wanted to slap the smirk off his face. I was disgusted and realized the true person that had been hiding inside. The gentlemen thing was just an act. Pop culture, and other so called men that he works at the firestation with have turned him into a their version of “a man”.

I remember a country/christian song years ago that brought tears to my eyes. I don’t remember exactly, but the premise was “that is someone’s daughter, mother, sister” not just something to be bought and sold.

MEN- real, true Christian MEN= where are you? Can you stand up? Can you organize and be visible to our young men and women that are inundated with porn, provocative music, bisexuality constantly by media? We need to tip the scales back and soon. Our society is literally drowning in this problem.

 

[Lifeisamazing]

I like the way you think.

I would advise you to do the following: The next time you catch him viewing porn, start packing your bags. When he asks why, give him this retort: “I am a woman. What do you want me to do?”

I think that will get the point across.

You need to provide your husband with choices - you, or the porn. He is a free creature, made so by the will of God. If he choses the porn, that is his choice, and he can someday explain it to God.

If he choses you, he has made the right choice. Then send him to Every Man’s Battle.

 

[sseason]

The world tells him this is normal.

He needs to surround himself with men who do NOT believe that everyone does this. Those who know it is a sinful, nasty habit.

To paraphrase the words of the Bible, if your computer causes you to sin, throw it out. It is better to enter heaven without broadband than to enter hell with the fun the internet provides.

:clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping:

 

[James_Miller]

I am so old that I can remember a time when there was no TV in America People lived without it. Now with the internet it reaches every corner of the world. Hmmm There is a lot mentioned in the Bible: prostitutes, adultry, same-sex, etc…Our age seems to have invented a new class of sin.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

I believe that porn images are perceived as normal by my husband, and that I owe it to him to behave that way and that he also should be able to consume it since he is a “man”. I believe many men, especially young men, have been over exposed and the result is they begin to think that is normal and even their right to degrade women. They begin to think they are not men if they don’t buy into it. Young girls too. I am so sad for young girls. Without firm support and guidance; they are falling into terrible traps.

I had often pondered, if we had a girl instead, if my husband’s attitude would be this way right now. I think a lot of men become better for having a daughter. Instead, here I am holding our precious son just post delivery and my jerk of a husband is pondering “I can’t wait to see the girls he gets in high school. He’ll date the cheerleaders with the big …”. I wanted to slap the smirk off his face. I was disgusted and realized the true person that had been hiding inside. The gentlemen thing was just an act. Pop culture, and other so called men that he works at the firestation with have turned him into a their version of “a man”.

One thing I’ve always had a huge issue with is people saying it’s not realistic to live by traditional Catholic morals anymore. When my wife & I were dating, I heard it all the time. Since she was a single mother, everyone assumed that we were sexually active, including our families. It was important to both of us that we wait until we were married but nobody believed that. It’s extremely discouraging when even your own parents tell you they know you’re lying because “kids just don’t do that these days.” To this day, they still don’t believe that we waited. Of my friends at the time, only one believed & supported us. The rest (male & female) were constantly asking me if we’d done it, how good she was in the sack, etc. It discouraged us to the point that, several times, we had discussions about whether or not we should give in just so we wouldn’t have to put up with the arguments anymore. I still thank God that we didn’t. Not only am I blessed with the knowledge that my wife is the only woman I’ve ever been with, but I can be honest with my kids about my choice.

The point I’m getting at is that, as difficult as some may say it is, it’s not unrealistic to lead a moral life. Not everyone lives together before they’re married, has premarital sex or watches pornography. It’s not a guy’s “right” to objectify a woman or to force her to do something that demeans her or makes her feel bad. As a woman, you certainly don’t owe it to anyone to allow them to abuse you.

I once caught my son & one of his friends on a porn site. A few weeks earlier, the friend’s mom had told me she’d caught him in the act and she basically threw up her hands, chalked it up to “boys will be boys,” and told me there was nothing she could do. The boys told me they didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. I’d taken a lot of the blocks off my son’s PC (we were working on building trust & responsibility and he obviously wasn’t doing too well), and the two insisted that they’d find a way around any parental controls I implemented. I tried to explain to them why it was wrong (and, yes, I can admit that I wasn’t following my own advice at the time), but they insisted that everyone does it so that makes it okay. I took a different tact and explained to them that they needed to get over with their obsession (they were all “big boob” sites), and pointed out that there was no difference between the women on the screen and their mothers & sisters. They didn’t like the comparison and that, along with better parental controls, put an end to the problem for a while. It really bothered me, though, that they were so adamant about how normal it was.

One thing that really bothers me is your husband’s comment about not being able to wait to see what kind of girls your son brings home in high school. I’ve had friends say the same thing (either about their sons’ future girlfriends or daughters’ future friends). One guy was really offended when I asked, “so you can’t wait to be a pedophile?” I’d ponder why this seems acceptable nowadays, but even without the porn that caters to that sort of imagery, it’s a pervasive image throughout society. Look at Britney Spears or the way some magazines cover some of the younger stars. I don’t need a countdown telling me when a 15-year-old girl is going to be “legal,” (I’ve seen those for numerous young stars), I don’t need to hear about how hot these young girls are, and I don’t need to read articles critical of the ones who proclaim that they’ll wait for marriage. I think all these things are designed to condition people to the notion of these young girls as sexual objects, which is extremely disturbing. You have to wonder why this seems to be such a priority in today’s culture.

I agree that we need to work harder at keeping our kids on the straight and narrow. It’s distressing seeing how little support there seems to be for this. I have a friend who told me she was promoting an Anti-Chastity Ball at the high school where she works. I’ve had family members offer my son beer & ask to take him to strip clubs, then throw fits when I said no. I hear all the time that we should let our kids do what their friends are doing because it’s not fair for out kids to miss out (watch Family Guy, listen to awful music, drink soda whenever they want, etc.). I think all parents, not just one or the other, need to stand up & take charge of their kids moral upbringing. I think it’s important to lead by acts and not just words. If I tell my kids not to do something, I’m not going to turn around and do it in front of them. I want to instill feelings of respect and self-worth in them so that when they see immoral images, hear harmful music or seeing people engaging in sinful acts, they’ll be able to follow the proper path.

 

[phoenix3212]

One thing I’ve always had a huge issue with is people saying it’s not realistic to live by traditional Catholic morals anymore. When my wife & I were dating, I heard it all the time. Since she was a single mother, everyone assumed that we were sexually active, including our families. It was important to both of us that we wait until we were married but nobody believed that. It’s extremely discouraging when even your own parents tell you they know you’re lying because “kids just don’t do that these days.” To this day, they still don’t believe that we waited. Of my friends at the time, only one believed & supported us. The rest (male & female) were constantly asking me if we’d done it, how good she was in the sack, etc. It discouraged us to the point that, several times, we had discussions about whether or not we should give in just so we wouldn’t have to put up with the arguments anymore. I still thank God that we didn’t. Not only am I blessed with the knowledge that my wife is the only woman I’ve ever been with, but I can be honest with my kids about my choice.

The point I’m getting at is that, as difficult as some may say it is, it’s not unrealistic to lead a moral life. Not everyone lives together before they’re married, has premarital sex or watches pornography. It’s not a guy’s “right” to objectify a woman or to force her to do something that demeans her or makes her feel bad. As a woman, you certainly don’t owe it to anyone to allow them to abuse you.

I once caught my son & one of his friends on a porn site. A few weeks earlier, the friend’s mom had told me she’d caught him in the act and she basically threw up her hands, chalked it up to “boys will be boys,” and told me there was nothing she could do. The boys told me they didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. I’d taken a lot of the blocks off my son’s PC (we were working on building trust & responsibility and he obviously wasn’t doing too well), and the two insisted that they’d find a way around any parental controls I implemented. I tried to explain to them why it was wrong (and, yes, I can admit that I wasn’t following my own advice at the time), but they insisted that everyone does it so that makes it okay. I took a different tact and explained to them that they needed to get over with their obsession (they were all “big boob” sites), and pointed out that there was no difference between the women on the screen and their mothers & sisters. They didn’t like the comparison and that, along with better parental controls, put an end to the problem for a while. It really bothered me, though, that they were so adamant about how normal it was.

One thing that really bothers me is your husband’s comment about not being able to wait to see what kind of girls your son brings home in high school. I’ve had friends say the same thing (either about their sons’ future girlfriends or daughters’ future friends). One guy was really offended when I asked, “so you can’t wait to be a pedophile?” I’d ponder why this seems acceptable nowadays, but even without the porn that caters to that sort of imagery, it’s a pervasive image throughout society. Look at Britney Spears or the way some magazines cover some of the younger stars. I don’t need a countdown telling me when a 15-year-old girl is going to be “legal,” (I’ve seen those for numerous young stars), I don’t need to hear about how hot these young girls are, and I don’t need to read articles critical of the ones who proclaim that they’ll wait for marriage. I think all these things are designed to condition people to the notion of these young girls as sexual objects, which is extremely disturbing. You have to wonder why this seems to be such a priority in today’s culture.

I agree that we need to work harder at keeping our kids on the straight and narrow. It’s distressing seeing how little support there seems to be for this. I have a friend who told me she was promoting an Anti-Chastity Ball at the high school where she works. I’ve had family members offer my son beer & ask to take him to strip clubs, then throw fits when I said no. I hear all the time that we should let our kids do what their friends are doing because it’s not fair for out kids to miss out (watch Family Guy, listen to awful music, drink soda whenever they want, etc.). I think all parents, not just one or the other, need to stand up & take charge of their kids moral upbringing. I think it’s important to lead by acts and not just words. If I tell my kids not to do something, I’m not going to turn around and do it in front of them. I want to instill feelings of respect and self-worth in them so that when they see immoral images, hear harmful music or seeing people engaging in sinful acts, they’ll be able to follow the proper path.

God Bless You. From the perspective of a teenager tired of the over-sexualized culture we’re in, I wish we had more people in the world like you.

 

[eichenb2]

maybe the male of our species is simply not intended to be monogamous

 

[flyingfish]

I wonder how many women have issues with pornography

 

[Lifeisamazing]

It’s not a guy’s “right” to objectify a woman or to force her to do something that demeans her or makes her feel bad. As a woman, you certainly don’t owe it to anyone to allow them to abuse you.

AMEN. Way too many men and women were boys and girls who view degrading sexual behavior as the norm instead of abusive to one’s self, to others, and to the Lord.

I once caught my son & one of his friends on a porn site. A few weeks earlier, the friend’s mom had told me she’d caught him in the act and she basically threw up her hands, chalked it up to “boys will be boys,” and told me there was nothing she could do.

Yes, that attitude is a disgrace to our children and is lazy. I never bought into “boys will be boys” even as a kid.

The boys told me they didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. I’d taken a lot of the blocks off my son’s PC (we were working on building trust & responsibility and he obviously wasn’t doing too well), and the two insisted that they’d find a way around any parental controls I implemented. I tried to explain to them why it was wrong (and, yes, I can admit that I wasn’t following my own advice at the time), but they insisted that everyone does it so that makes it okay.

I took a different tact and explained to them that they needed to get over with their obsession (they were all “big boob” sites), and pointed out that there was no difference between the women on the screen and their mothers & sisters. They didn’t like the comparison and that…

Great job. You connected the dots between the women on the screen and their real flesh and blood loved ones. Time for a wake up call to men and boys. Some of those women are terribly abused. Some of those women aren’t even women but underaged runaways. All of them are staring hell in the face and you should picture them in the devil’s grasp.

One thing that really bothers me is your husband’s comment about not being able to wait to see what kind of girls your son brings home in high school.

I cannot tell you how upset I have been over that comment myself. I am afraid my husband will actually encourage and show him porn. Encourage him to have sex as young as he wants. Especially if we split, I am afraid that when my son goes to his dad’s he will be allowing and encouraging and getting off on my son “getting girls” and looking at porn. I told my father about this comment and shared my fears, and my father was very concerned. I told my dad that I hope that he can be there to guide my son b/c I am so fearful about the attitude my husband seems eager to force on him.

I’ve had friends say the same thing (either about their sons’ future girlfriends or daughters’ future friends). One guy was really offended when I asked, “so you can’t wait to be a pedophile?” I’d ponder why this seems acceptable nowadays, but even without the porn that caters to that sort of imagery, it’s a pervasive image throughout society. Look at Britney Spears or the way some magazines cover some of the younger stars. I don’t need a countdown telling me when a 15-year-old girl is going to be “legal,” (I’ve seen those for numerous young stars), I don’t need to hear about how hot these young girls are, and I don’t need to read articles critical of the ones who proclaim that they’ll wait for marriage. I think all these things are designed to condition people to the notion of these young girls as sexual objects, which is extremely disturbing. You have to wonder why this seems to be such a priority in today’s culture.

I agree that we need to work harder at keeping our kids on the straight and narrow. It’s distressing seeing how little support there seems to be for this. I have a friend who told me she was promoting an Anti-Chastity Ball at the high school where she works. I’ve had family members offer my son beer & ask to take him to strip clubs, then throw fits when I said no. I hear all the time that we should let our kids do what their friends are doing because it’s not fair for out kids to miss out (watch Family Guy, listen to awful music, drink soda whenever they want, etc.). I think all parents, not just one or the other, need to stand up & take charge of their kids moral upbringing. I think it’s important to lead by acts and not just words. If I tell my kids not to do something, I’m not going to turn around and do it in front of them. I want to instill feelings of respect and self-worth in them so that when they see immoral images, hear harmful music or seeing people engaging in sinful acts, they’ll be able to follow the proper path.

**If your church doesn’t have some kind of leadership in this area, you may want to consider heading one up. Men like you are so needed. Don’t hide. The users, abusers, and manipulators of the world don’t hide. They are full blast in HD for all to see and hear 24/7. **

 

[FanChan]

I wonder how many women have issues with pornography

A lot more than one might think, especially these days in the feminist’s sexual revolution for women. Girls are being more and more encouraged by the world to embrace their sexuality in the same way that men do. Granted, that wasn’t the reason I was sucked in; I was addicted to the feel of masturbation at a very early age, then simply grew curious about everything else that went with it thanks to the glory the modern world assosciates with it. By the time I came to realize it was a terrible thing, it was too late to just turn my back on it. Now it’s a constant struggle.

The only real difference between men and women with this fight is that the male sexual desire can have a hair trigger at any time during the year. They’re always ready to go. Women, however, experience it in cycles. It was God’s design to make sure we have sex when we’re fertile. It’s during that time period that it can be and often is just as irresistable and unstoppable for us women as it is for men. Which can be a very distressing thing. When you’re trying to stop, you might go three or four months without even feeling the pull. But as soon as you relax your guard, thinking you’ve got it beat, WHAM, it tackles you worse than ever, or seemingly so.

However, that’s not to say it’s easy to avoid outside of the cycle. Lust, desire, and imagination can go a long way in making up for the lack of the natural urge.

 

[eichenb2]

The only real difference between men and women with this fight is that the male sexual desire can have a hair trigger at any time during the year. They’re always ready to go. Women, however, experience it in cycles. It was God’s design to make sure we have sex when we’re fertile. It’s during that time period that it can be and often is just as irresistable and unstoppable for us women as it is for men. Which can be a very distressing thing. When you’re trying to stop, you might go three or four months without even feeling the pull. But as soon as you relax your guard, thinking you’ve got it beat, WHAM, it tackles you worse than ever, or seemingly so.
QUOTE]
Interesting! On a side note, I especially noticed the comment concerning fertility cycles. It seems that God, in His infinite wisdom, designed these cycles to make conception more likely, at times. It would seem the most “natural” thing to do for married couples, would be to engage in conjugal relations at the time of highest fertility. Instead, NFP or “natural family planning” says that married couples should make a positive act of the will to abstain from conjugal relations during this time. Is it just me or do that seem UNNATURAL.

 

[HopeSE]

I had a friend that had a rather lengthy dispute with his wife over an issue like this. She constantly read romance type novels, and when she caught him watching porn she flipped out.

His argument was that men use porn for a very specific reason. They want to masturbate, the fantasy aspect ends when the action ends.

Women use romance novels to fantasize about a different life and it’s more ongoing and is probably more detrimental than pornography because it’s more of an emotional form of cheating than purely physical.

The only difference is that one is visual and one is written.

I always thought it was sort of correct, but for different reasons than what he said. Just thought I would add this, since I tend to think that all men watch pornography from time to time. As long as it’s kept to a minimum and doesn’t develop into an addiction, then no harm is done.

 

[Crumpy]

A lot of issues are raised in this thread, but this may be a different starting point:

JOhn21:25 There are also many other things that Jesus did, but if these were to be described individually, I do not think the whole world would contain the books that would be written.

If we all were more Biblically aware, this verse might keep us all from a lot of pain and anguish which is expressed in this thread.

If a guy and a gal, in the first place, were concerned about what Jesus had done (or not done) in their own and each other’s lives, then they might be more aware of the character of the relationship that theywere getting into.

If it’s based on physical attraction alone, then the couple may be in for rocky times ahead. But, if they were focused on ensuring that Jesus had done in each other’s lives what they expect, then they might not have become so emotionally dependent on each other, when the relationship was destined to fail.

 

[FanChan]

Interesting! On a side note, I especially noticed the comment concerning fertility cycles. It seems that God, in His infinite wisdom, designed these cycles to make conception more likely, at times. It would seem the most “natural” thing to do for married couples, would be to engage in conjugal relations at the time of highest fertility. Instead, NFP or “natural family planning” says that married couples should make a positive act of the will to abstain from conjugal relations during this time. Is it just me or do that seem UNNATURAL.

If one was trying to have children, it is good to have relations during the point of highest fertility. However, if one, for good reason, is trying not to have children and cannot abstain completely, then it is good and right to freely choose to use the cycle God created to have relations during the points of least fertility. Conception is still possible, just far less likely. I see it as stepping outside of the animal ways of always seeking out a partner during the times of fertility so that there are always children (unless you’re like me and want to always have children ).

Anyway, there’s a lot that goes into NFP, and it involves a great deal of prayer and at times hardship, and is used both for conceiving and avoiding conception, all in the most natural way possible, leaving it in the hands of God rather than introducing something foreign into the mix.

 

[mrpathetic]

maybe the male of our species is simply not intended to be monogamous

Ultimately, this question boils down to this: what do you think a human being is? Are we just simply an animal with intelligence? A hairless ape, who just so happens to have enough cranial capacity, to be capable of intelligence?

Or are we made in the image and likeness of God? Are we blessed with a soul, and a conscience? Do we have the grace of God, to act in the way that God deems us?

If we are just hairless apes, then yes, we should just give in to sexual desires as much as possible. In fact, if that is all we are, then this is the proper course of action. This will ensure that maximum amount of procreation, and the continuance of our species. If we are just another species on this planet, this is how we should act.

Alternatively, if we are children of God, we should act in the way that God deems suitable for us. And God has made this clear to us, through the actions of His only son.

We now know what is God’s plan for sexuality. The only acceptable purpose of sexuality is simple:** Natural, consential, marital relations between a man and woman, that are oriented towards the creation of new life.** That’s it. Nothing else is acceptable. Certainly not lust, adultery, pornography, polygamy, etc.

Mankind has been given the grace to live according to God’s will. Now men (and women) must chose to live by that grace. They can live in obedience to God’s law, or they can chose not to, and then pay the consequence. This includes God’s laws on chastity and purity, which require monogamy for all those who do not practice abstinence.

I prefer to think of myself as a child of God. If you want to view yourself as a hairless ape, I hope you like bananas. (They are a good source of potassium, but they cannot sustain the soul.)

 

[FanChan]

maybe the male of our species is simply not intended to be monogamous

Perhaps one should ask this question - what situation will make the man truly happy? Do men that sleep around, don’t get tied down to responsibility, or collect a harem of wives with which to sleep with have as much real happiness in their lives as those men who faithfully attend to one wife (or a celibate life)?

The things that God wants of us, all of those rules and regulations that make up the rubrics of the Catholic life, are things that will make us truly happy. Someone who lives a life of pain and suffering can have more true happiness than a person who has everything so long as they continue to fulfill the things God wants of (and for) us.

 

[whatevergirl]

Perhaps one should ask this question - what situation will make the man truly happy? Do men that sleep around, don’t get tied down to responsibility, or collect a harem of wives with which to sleep with have as much real happiness in their lives as those men who faithfully attend to one wife (or a celibate life)?

The things that God wants of us, all of those rules and regulations that make up the rubrics of the Catholic life, are things that will make us truly happy. Someone who lives a life of pain and suffering can have more true happiness than a person who has everything so long as they continue to fulfill the things God wants of (and for) us.

Excellent point. I have often thought of Hugh Hefner (well, not often lol) when I think of topics like this…he seems like a tremendously depraved man, lonely, and sad. On the outside, beautiful women romping around his mansion sounds so appealing to just about any man, but having listened to him in interviews…wow, he sounds pretty sad. And lonely. I think that when you spend a lifetime objectifying women, and making your living doing so…you really lose touch with what is most important in life…and that is a relationship with God. Not that we can truly know Hugh’s relationship with God, or people like him, but we can’t serve man and God…God made that clear. So, when we decide to make a choice that leads us to the dark side of life, we can’t be in the Light at the same time.

 

[mrpathetic]

Perhaps one should ask this question - what situation will make the man truly happy?

Don’t confuse happiness with joy. They are two different things - although I am sure that, if you looked up joy and happiness in a thesaurus, they would be synonyms. But they are not the same thing.

Some form of happiness can be derived from carnal or temporal pleasures. But this happiness is temporary, fleeting, and unreliable. Ultimately, this happiness will disappear, when the source of this pleasures disappear.

But joy - what I would call true happiness - can only come from God. God is eternal, and the joy of God is eternal. God never ends, so the joy that God gives us never ends, either.

How do we get this joy? Though misery and suffering. It is a paradox, I know. But through suffering for Christ, we gain the satisfaction of serving the Lord. In this, we can find true satisfaction, self-esteem, and joy.

Last weekend, I did a youth ministry effort in San Antonio, Texas, at the Alamodome. Dear Lord, it was hot out on that pavement. I helped feed over 100 people who are part of a youth group that my son is touring with this summer. (Ever try to keep chicken salad cold on 110-degree blacktop? Not easy.)

That experience gave me more joy than Hugh Heffner ever experienced. Why? Because I was serving the Lord, whose joy never ends.