Right on. I wish I could give this a million likes.
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Allegra
Guest
She has the “right” to ask whatever she wants. The son and DIL have an equal right to change the locks and block her number from their phones. Just because you technically “have the right” to do something, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea!
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JulianN
Guest
I think the two-hour ago joining coupled with this topic points to unreal. At least, I hope it does. I can’t imagine asking my children this incredibly invasive question.
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Allegra
Guest
Lord, please let JulianN be right! I feel so bad for John, Lisa, and John’s eight siblings and inlaws! On the other hand, I do feel a little fonder of my own MIL.
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1ke
Guest
Oh please stop.They have been married three years and seem happy and well, but have not yet had a baby. In our family, the custom is short courtships, short engagements, and a baby before the first anniversary.
It is their life, not yours. They need not conform to your idea of the timing of their marriage, family, or anything else.
They are grown people, your son is 28. It’s not your concern how many, when, or if they have children.
As my grandma used to say: mind your own beeswax.
Honestly, this sounds like a fake troll post. If it’s not, you need some serious professional help.Is it my place, as the matriarch of the family, to intervene here and ask why no pregnancy has occurred?
Your divine right? Um, no.but I do know it is my divine right and duty to guide my children and lovingly correct them so that they stay on the path of righteousness.
It was your responsibility when they were minor children to guide them. That time is over.
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1ke
Guest
Yes, on other boards they call this MUD. Made Up Drama.
Hi,
Thanks to care of your adults children’s souls.
Yet, I want to underline some points:
1: You cannot known for sure if there is some infertility issues on your son’s marriage. Sterile couples can be seems healthy and not overweight. You cannot detected them by just seen them. As a conclusion, this possibility cannot be exclude.
2: If there is infertility, you cannot jump on the “logical” conclusion that they should have some exams now. It is good that you want them to see only doctors who respect our catholic morality, but you don’t have push them to do it. They may perfer to wait, before trying something. They may prefer to not know at all, or don’t want to do something. Even if we try to “save” some morality aspects, exams are an invasive process, and every people have the right to find them immorals, or don’t want to do them. It is not a mandate.
3 : if they use contracpetion, I doubt that your son don’t know it! It is even more possible that it is of common agreement. Your son is not innocent until the proven contrary. It may him who want it and not his wife, who know?
4 : They can have issues on their marriage that they don’t speak with you, who know?
5 : They acn wish to delay pregnancy, with contraception or not, who know? They may not care of the catholic doctrine?
There is many possibilities!
My advise would be : you can ask your son, if you want. You take a risk, it is your choice. But not your daughter in law, unless you have a strong relationship and she is very open to discuss thoses topics. If they have really a problem of fertility, you should be very prudent, pray for them, ask them if how you can help, but not push them to any decision.
Thanks to care of your adults children’s souls.
Yet, I want to underline some points:
1: You cannot known for sure if there is some infertility issues on your son’s marriage. Sterile couples can be seems healthy and not overweight. You cannot detected them by just seen them. As a conclusion, this possibility cannot be exclude.
2: If there is infertility, you cannot jump on the “logical” conclusion that they should have some exams now. It is good that you want them to see only doctors who respect our catholic morality, but you don’t have push them to do it. They may perfer to wait, before trying something. They may prefer to not know at all, or don’t want to do something. Even if we try to “save” some morality aspects, exams are an invasive process, and every people have the right to find them immorals, or don’t want to do them. It is not a mandate.
3 : if they use contracpetion, I doubt that your son don’t know it! It is even more possible that it is of common agreement. Your son is not innocent until the proven contrary. It may him who want it and not his wife, who know?
4 : They can have issues on their marriage that they don’t speak with you, who know?
5 : They acn wish to delay pregnancy, with contraception or not, who know? They may not care of the catholic doctrine?
There is many possibilities!
My advise would be : you can ask your son, if you want. You take a risk, it is your choice. But not your daughter in law, unless you have a strong relationship and she is very open to discuss thoses topics. If they have really a problem of fertility, you should be very prudent, pray for them, ask them if how you can help, but not push them to any decision.
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His_helpmeet
Guest
This “tradition” does not “deserve consideration”. No one, except the couple, their health care provider, and their pastor need be concerned with their reproductive choices.
Maybe they’re in debt. Maybe they can’t get pregnant. Just because everyone ELSE in the family has a tradition of having a baby before the first anniversary, doesn’t mean that John needs to consider that.
Maybe they’re in debt. Maybe they can’t get pregnant. Just because everyone ELSE in the family has a tradition of having a baby before the first anniversary, doesn’t mean that John needs to consider that.
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SuscipeMeDomine
Guest
It seems more and more likely to me that the OP was a troll. Join today, post something that is almost a caricature of an over-involved, over-Catholic mother, then after you get everyone stirred up, fail to participate in the thread you started.
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DeniseNY
Guest
Not buying it. This seems like a post designed with the hopes of seeing Catholics agree with some terrible ideas because possible contraception is involved. It doesn’t fly.
But this is not “your” family. This is a separate family that you are not the leader of.In our family, the custom is short courtships, short engagements, and a baby before the first anniversary.
It’s not like this is entirely within their control.
Assumption on your part.Yes, I know they could be infertile, but I highly doubt that.
Don’t get involved. You don’t know what issues could be involved and it’s not your place to barge in here.
You don’t seem to have any reason to believe that they are using contraception other than that they’ve got no baby yet.
I’m married nearly three years and both my wife and are healthy and young and we’ve not conceived yet either, and it’s not exactly from lack of trying.
Keep out of it.
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jvickers
Guest
I think one of the best ways to estrange yourself from your son and daughter-in-law would be to ask this question. As others have pointed out, they are adults. What they do is between them and God. Perhaps praying for them is your best solution.
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angel12
Guest
And, notice what she lists as her religion. I think you’re right to be suspicious.I think the two-hour ago joining coupled with this topic points to unreal. At least, I hope it does.
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poche
Guest
I saw an article written about the year I was born. the author said that if a year past after the couple got married and there wasn’t a baby then the wife might want to make an appointment with her doctor for her husband to see what was wrong with him.
I think the less you say to them the better. I also recommend that you pray for them.
I think the less you say to them the better. I also recommend that you pray for them.
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humbleseeker
Guest
That’s probably her password.
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Clementine14
Guest
Want to destroy your relationship with your son and his wife? Go ahead and ask. I can’t believe that anyone would think that this is their business, but I know it happens.
If you were my mother in law, and I found out about this presumptuous, overbearing attitude about my marriage and reproduction you’d be the last to know anything about any pregnancy that did come along. If you even speculate at all, why blame “Lisa” for taking the pill and hiding it from your son? Or assume that two grown adults cannot figure out how to make a doctor’s appointment, or that they’d tell you anything about their medical issues in the first place? I really hope this thread is not real.
If you were my mother in law, and I found out about this presumptuous, overbearing attitude about my marriage and reproduction you’d be the last to know anything about any pregnancy that did come along. If you even speculate at all, why blame “Lisa” for taking the pill and hiding it from your son? Or assume that two grown adults cannot figure out how to make a doctor’s appointment, or that they’d tell you anything about their medical issues in the first place? I really hope this thread is not real.
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FiveLinden
Guest
I wondered too if this OP was real. Assuming it is what confuses me as an unbeliever looking from the outside is that neither the OP or the comments have mentioned the Catholic teaching that people are required (yes required) to assume the best of another’s actions until it is clear that the ‘best’ is not the case. It’s in the CCC, forget the number. I looked at this in the context of clerical abuse where it is perhaps not the most helpful of teachings but I would have thought that in the OPs case it is exactly the right thing! She can stop worrying and her poor relatives can be freed from the spiritual spy drone hovering above them!
I think because the OP came on so strong in her post we kind of just went straight to telling her not to assume and keep out of it. You’re right though. It is an important point that unless she has hard evidence or reasonable grounds for suspicion then she ought to assume the best.Assuming it is what confuses me as an unbeliever looking from the outside is that neither the OP or the comments have mentioned the Catholic teaching that people are required (yes required) to assume the best of another’s actions until it is clear that the ‘best’ is not the case.
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