Possible contraception in family

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I have a hunch that the OP is not a troll but may be either a poster who is not in the US or not from the West.

I see this kind of thinking in Asia where people are required to have a baby, preferably a son, a year after marriage. If not, the unlucky couple are interrogated by the husband’s mother.

I think we scared her off with the responses to her post.
 
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Sarcelle said:
I see this kind of thinking in Asia where people are required to have a baby, preferably a son, a year after marriage. If not, the unlucky couple are interrogated by the husband’s mother.
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Maybe, but this isn’t “customary” for Catholics in general. I don’t think it says anywhere in the Catechism that as Catholics we must interrogate each other about whether or not we use contraception.

Still doesn’t mean she isn’t a genuine poster.
 
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Possible, but if that’s the case, she’s a lot better at observing and imitating colloquial turn-of-phrase in the English language than in discerning the subtleties of social cues as well as the teachings of the Church she claims loyalty to. The tone, language, and spelling of her post was extremely consistent with a typical American MIL. It was the content that was shocking.
 
Right. Imposing the importance of a “family tradition” over the needs of a couple and/or the will of God. Judging the fertility of another person based on no evidence. Assuming sinister actions based on no evidence. Prying into the most intimate details of a married couple. Considering making a completely unfounded accusation against one spouse to the other with complete disregard to the harm that it could do to their marriage, all to get what she wants when she already has so much. None of this is in line with any Catholic teaching. I realize that in a fallen world, people do have to struggle to reconcile the toxicity that may exist in the pervasive beliefs as practices of their general culture. The Lord knows, no culture is immune to that! But come on! I could indulge any MIL a certain level of impatience and anxiety over possible issues of infertility with their children. But to make completely unfounded accusations of a wife deceiving her husband and using ABC behind his back, based only on the fact that a baby hasn’t appeared on HER schedule is pretty beyond the pale for any culture.
 
It may not be customary of Catholics in the West in general but this is customary of people in Asia, regardless of religion.
 
South Asian mother in laws are worst than American mother in laws.

I’ve heard so many horror stories. The daughter in law is practically at the beck and call of the mother in law.
 
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Sarcelle said:
I have a hunch that the OP is not a troll but may be either a poster who is not in the US or not from the West.

I see this kind of thinking in Asia where people are required to have a baby, preferably a son, a year after marriage. If not, the unlucky couple are interrogated by the husband’s mother.
Click to expand...
I’ve dealt with second language writers of English for 10 years or so (working with one on her dissertation now, in fact). Most were from Asia. The written language is too good. Still, there is a chance that the OP just happened to acquire written English so well as to write like a native speaker of English (or better). I suspect this is not the case, however. I would say that English is likely the OP’s initial language based on the style and syntax.
 
I’ve heard horror stories as well, but I’ve also heard stories that would satisfy many people’s definition of “heroic virtue”. At any rate, that’s why we have the Church. To guide us into virtue and away from the toxic notions of general society. I don’t think anyone would argue that American society in general is a bastion of family values and Christian virtue, even if our MILs aren’t so emboldened.
 
Thank you for everyone’s replies. Since it is mostly not recommended that I ask why they haven’t conceived yet I will let it go, or maybe have one of John’s brothers approach him to see what is going on.
 
Pretty please with sugar on top, if you are in earnest, do not ask one of your sons to stick his nose into his brother’s intimate affairs. If you are a troll, thanks for the entertaining thread.
 
LoveMyKids said:
or maybe have one of John’s brothers approach him to see what is going on.
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Having problems letting go of it?
You need to.

There are very few circumstances in which this can end well.
As I understand it, two options exist.
Either the couple is contracepting. They know it is wrong, they will be defensive.
Or the couple is having fertility issues. They have a health problem, and will be defensive.

Either case leaves you in the position of being a busybody that can’t stop picking.
Whether or not you are the villain you will be perceived as such.
Either they are guilty, you are highlighting it, and will receive scorn.
Or they are not, and you have opened another wound.

If you can’t leave well enough alone, simply say you are praying that they will bless you with a grandchild soon and leave it.
 
OR, they have lost a baby or two. Even without infertility issues, this is very common. And the knowledge that the MIL is making conspiracy theories that the wife is contracepting behind the husband’s back will be absolutely devastating.

Or, they simply aren’t in any hurry and are wanting some time to really bond in their marriage prior to introducing children. (Since it’s family tradition that they are only allowed to be engaged for five minutes.)
 
You have no 'divine rights over your children or their spouses. Your rights and duties ended when your kids were of legal, adult age, and out of your home. You never had any ‘rights and duties’ over their spouses, let alone divine ones!

If you are for real, I think the only reason you’ve gotten along with your kids for so long, and so well, is the fact that many live far from you. Is the couple you’re worried about the one who lives closest to you?

And, what is ‘maureen1’? You have that listed as your religion!
 
vz71 said:
As I understand it, two options exist.
Either the couple is contracepting. They know it is wrong, they will be defensive.
Or the couple is having fertility issues. They have a health problem, and will be defensive.
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Those are not the only options.

As Allegra said, they could have had one or more miscarriages.

They could be using NFP to avoid pregnancy for good reasons (good reasons are not limited to health or financial issues). When done properly, NFP has the same effectiveness rate as your average contraception methods.

They might simply not be having sex very often for a variety of possible reasons known only to them. The fertile period is about six days per cycle. They might just be missing those days.

But, in any case, the bottom line is the OP needs to stay out of it.
 
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