. . .
Once again, stating that the “remembrance” is to be “brief” is conjecture. The ritual says no such thing. And there’s plenty of “big Catholic” funerals where there’s a long eulogy so to pick this one out seems a bit strange. . . .
Maybe it might be better said that this is your own personal interpretation of # 170 of the ritual ; that is, if you remain unable to agree that words of remembrance in general (“big Catholic funerals” aside) are to be kept brief - so that what you’re saying isn’t seen as conjecture. Granted these “big Catholic funerals” exist. Yet they hardly seem pertinent to the conversation at hand and would be considered an exception to the rule – otherwise, where
is the rule ? As a priest you’re surely aware how each Christian funeral is somewhat unique in its own way. So some type of order is appropriate.
If it is recommended that a homily should be brief, it only seems logical that generally speaking, the words of remembrance should follow suit.
While you may personally claim that # 170 “says nothing about being brief nor does it give any guidelines” , an archdiocese in your own New England region finds it preferable to promulgate guidelines for Ecclesial Funeral Rites containing one item in particular which addresses this very matter. One of the differences , between what you’re saying about # 170 and what
Father Austin Fleming says, is that
the Order of Christian Funerals envisions the remarks of remembrance being delivered while the priest and ministers are standing at the casket.
I can’t admit to seeing that happen too often myself. Usually everyone, including all personnel participating on behalf of the Church are seated when the
words of remembrance are delivered . Perhaps that’s an indicator of what has been happening when we aren’t able to anticipate what the Church envisions. Perhaps, that is one of the reasons why the Archdiocese of Boston found it necessary to publish their
Policy on Ecclesiastical Funeral Rites
. . . Upon recommendation of the Office for Worship and having heard the Presbyteral Council, I hereby promulgate the following Policy on Ecclesiastical Funeral Rites and Instruction on Ecclesiastical Funeral Rites for the Archdiocese of Boston:
- Following the prayer after Communion and before the Final Commendation, only one speaker, a member or a friend of the family, may speak for not more than five minutes in remembrance of the deceased.
I additionally think “big funerals” can actually be a misnomer at times . For most families , there is no “bigger” funeral than the funeral of the mother or father of that family .
Because our pastor had been subjected to some liturgical nightmares in the past during the supposed
words of remembrance, at my own father’s funeral Mass , I didn’t even request we give any words of remembrance, opting instead to have them inscribed on his gravestone. I did however at that same Mass, passionately assert to my (no longer Catholic nor Christian) elder brother at Communion time that his four (unbaptized ) children should not receive Holy Communion. He was okay with that and no one was offended by it .

It had nothing to do with whether one was more worthy than another. It had only to do with guarding against abuses concerning the Holy Eucharist.
One month after my father’s funeral, at the wake of ( a man whom I consider to have been a very holy priest) , the Superior of this priest’s order asked me to give the words of remembrance (he actually said eulogy – well “éloge funèbre” in French) at his funeral Mass the following day , firmly iterating to me : “… not more than four or five minutes.” For this particular religious order (established well over 700 years ago) , the funeral didn’t get any “bigger” than that, with priests, brothers and sisters of the order in attendance – yet, I was clearly instructed to make the “eulogy” “no longer than four or five minutes.”
Of course, you’re totally free to hold as your own personal interpretation of # 170, that the words of remembrance during a Catholic funeral are not intended to be brief . Yet, I do have to seriously wonder whether conveying your personal interpretation to others here in a way in which it might be construed as being the purported prevalent thought of the Church is such a great idea, particularly in light of the preponderance of compelling evidence to the contrary.