prayer before lovemaking?

[kristie_m]

congrats! DH and I have been trying for almost a year now for number 4. I’ve tried praying before, during and after!

 

[CB_Catholic]

Hello … Recently I’ve heard that there are Catholic couples who say a prayer together before each time they make love.

Is this something that has caught on? Are there many people who do this?

I am late to this thread, but I have a friend who confided to me that she and her husband pray before haviung sex, and that sex is more beautiful when they do.

It never occurred to me to do that. But it makes sense–God is the God of everything, and everything in our lives shoud be turned over to Him. Why not ask Him to bless our marital relations? After all, He is the one who created sex in the first place.

 

[SBTheresa]

And aren’t we supposed to be in a state of constant prayer, anyway? So maybe not verbally pray before making love, but at least the spouses should be unified in mind, knowing that every little thing they do in life is supposed to be a dialogue with the divine. Eating, drinking, sleeping - is supposed to be done all for the glory of God.

That said, I hardly achieve having my every little minute of my day be that connected with God. I wish.

 

[DEESYPAL]

How can you say you feel praying makes you feel awkward or like its 'cramping your style before love making?! God created the act of congugal love to image his love in the trinity!!! You are in fact offending god when you dont pray!! I would be pleading with the Holy Spirit to Love within us since He is the Lord and Giver of LIFE!!! Open yourselves to the source of your Love making the Trinity!

Peace

 

[Miserissima]

I do think of sex wiithin marriage as something sacred, anyway…and feel overwhelmed with humility when thinking about the Song of Songs analogy: God’s holy love for His Church in a sexual context. That’s why I don’t get “squicked” about prayer relating to an act of physivcal human intimacy: it echoes something far greater.

I do silently pray things like, “Let’s be open to each others’ needs/wants, Lord” or, “Let this act be open to new life, Amen.”

Unfortunately, I don’t pray w/ my spouse because, in short, he doesn’t pray.

 

[TLM08]

Hello … Recently I’ve heard that there are Catholic couples who say a prayer together before each time they make love.

Is this something that has caught on? Are there many people who do this?

JUST ONE MAN’S OPINION HERE:

Sex is supposed to be hot, steamy, passionate, stimulating, deeply intimate, highly erotic and very pleasurable and yes…even a little naughty. Prayer on the other hand is communication with our creator. It is spiritual, reverent and deeply intimate bonding of man and God. Both of these activities embody the very escense of humanity.

Doing them simultaneously, or one right after the other however is extremely creepy and a real mood killer. God gave us love and sex to share with each other. He is indeed everywhere, but I am pretty sure that he does not want to be invited into the bedroom to sit on the edge of the bed while a couple goes at it.

I prefer to take a few minutes at the beginning and (or) the end of the day to thank him for all of the gifts and blessings of the day. We were created in the image of God therefore it’s safe to say that God also has a sense of modesty.

 

[baylee]

God gave us love and sex to share with each other. He is indeed everywhere, but I am pretty sure that he does not want to be invited into the bedroom to sit on the edge of the bed while a couple goes at it.

I hear a lot about God in the bedroom, but I look at it from a different perspective…I tend to think that He would want to give married couples privacy.

 

[baylee]

Does yelling out “Oh God, Oh God” count as a prayer?

 

[agapewolf]

JUST ONE MAN’S OPINION HERE:

Sex is supposed to be hot, steamy, passionate, stimulating, deeply intimate, highly erotic and very pleasurable and yes…even a little naughty. Prayer on the other hand is communication with our creator. It is spiritual, reverent and deeply intimate bonding of man and God. Both of these activities embody the very escense of humanity.

Doing them simultaneously, or one right after the other however is extremely creepy and a real mood killer. God gave us love and sex to share with each other. He is indeed everywhere, but I am pretty sure that he does not want to be invited into the bedroom to sit on the edge of the bed while a couple goes at it.

I prefer to take a few minutes at the beginning and (or) the end of the day to thank him for all of the gifts and blessings of the day. We were created in the image of God therefore it’s safe to say that God also has a sense of modesty.

It is NOT supposed to be naughty. THAT is lustful, and wrong. Marriage doesn’t just legitmize sex. You are selling yourself way short if you buy into this mode of thinking and don’t allow the ultimate designer of love and human life in to make your love making reach the heavens.

 

[DrPiano]

So my husband and I were both reading this and I think here’s what we have to say:

We don’t often pray before sex (mostly because we’re still working on remembering to pray…) but we think it’s a cool idea. Almost every time we’ve been intimate though, we’ve followed it with prayer. Still cool… but, in our opinion, not as cool as it would be to remember to pray (briefly) before we start AND afterwards.

God created sex to be an image of him and to help us experience a small taste of the inner life of the Trinity (at least, that’s how we understand TOB). So why wouldn’t we invite him in. You can’t image the inner life of the Trinity without the Trinity there. It is, in our marriage, in NO way a turn off. As others have expressed, it is, if anything, a turn on. God created this beautiful gift he wants to give us and he wants us to give to each other. Why wouldn’t he be involved…? And why wouldn’t we want to dedicate it back to him?

At least, that’s how we see it…

 

[hamburglar]

Anyone want to give me an example of what this prayer consists of?

 

[DrPiano]

Anyone want to give me an example of what this prayer consists of?

For my husband and I (after the marital act), its a simple spontaneous prayer of “Thank you for my spouse and thank you for this beautiful gift you’ve given us. Please help us continue to experience it in a way that glorifies you. Please help us to honestly be open to life and put our trust in you, even though we don’t feel like we’re ready for it right now.” (we practice NFP, but sometimes I “freak out” after the fact. I need the constant reminder to put my trust in the God who is always faithful - that he knows what is best for us.) And then we transition to the other praises/requests in our normal prayer life.

 

[lenni]

Interesting little tidbit, though maybe somewhat off-topic:

There was once a common custom for priests to bless the nuptial bed after the wedding. I read of some traditions where during the bride and groom would lay in a bed at the reception (though only symbolic, not meant to actually be used at that time) while everyone would applaud and the priest would bless them and prayers would be offered for a fruitful marriage.

This perhaps stems from a custom among the European royal families. On the night of the wedding of a monarch or heir
to the throne the court would gather in the nuptial bed chamber and applaud the royal couple as they lay in bed and recieved the blessing. The bed curtains would then be drawn and the couple expected to consumate the marriage with the entire royal court standing around them…

mmm…isn’t that from marie antoinette???..
i vaguely remember something like that happening in that movie…

anyways…i have a slightly off the topic question to all this…
but…does one have to consumate the marriage on the day of the wedding? or can a couple wait till there honey moon actually happens before consumating the marriage??..(it sounds sorta silly, but im a bit naive when it comes to stuff like this…)

 

[takers]

Once you’re married by the priest you’re married. You don’t have to consumate the marriage to be really married. Most couple I know who have been married in the Church (and those who aren’t Catholic so obviously not married in the church) didn’t consumate their marriage the night of their wedding. Most said it was the next day or the day after as they were so tired after the wedding day’s festivities. I will add that not everyone was a virgin on their wedding night so that may have affected decisions as well.

 

[cephas161619]

The best example for me is Tobias and his newlywed, in the book Tobit. If people are afraid to pray before uniting with their spouse that God gave them, they have bigger spiritual issues. Someone suggested it may be lust masquerading as licit under marital license. Lust is lust in whatever form. Godblessed marital encounter is no less ‘hot n’ steamy’, but it does more fully embrace the fullness of the other person. Only in God are we fully ourselves. If we don’t want God, we can only go downhill.

 

[Little_Katie]

Making love when put in the right context is such a pure and beautiful thing. I like the idea of prayer before making love to my husband. Heck I even pray WHILE I am making love to my husband and I am not ashamed of that.

It saddens me that so much of the world has warped sex into a dirty word. When it is between a man and his wife and done in the right life premoting context it is a very beautiful thing. It’s totally natural and nothing dirty about it.

I really hope that good people who are doing things right will stop feeling guilty or ashamed of their love making and in contrast that others who do make sex into something dirty will see that there is a better more powerful way to live.

 

[mommybug47]

It’s not something I’ve heard of as being popular. It even seems a bit unnecessary, because the marital embrace is itself a prayer, in a way.

That’s just me, though!

When you remember that the marital act is all about recommiting your devotion to your sacrement, it is a time of prayer. Recognizing that Our Lord is a part of the marriage can really strengthen your marriage, in and out of the bedroom. It is a beautiful active way to show our love, it is one of God’s gifts to us, not something that we need to hide from him. He is in every warm embrace.

 

[stefina]

I see no harm or “weirdness” from this? If God created our sexuality, whats so weird? and how would you get out of the mood? Isnt having sex about your love for one another, if two married people truely love each other, there should be no reason for the “mood to be killed” from praying before having sex. Of course God is watching, God watches everything we do, this shouldnt be any different in a bad way. I think its specially important to say a prayer the very first time a married couple is about to become “one flesh”. Dont think its weird, God is glad you waited for marriage

 

[jwashu]

When I was in second grade I asked my parent was a certain word meant and told them I wanted the real answer because my friend Scott was asking his parents and we were going to compare notes!

They did tell me the truth about sex right then and there… I was not shocked or anything and called my friend. As he got the same story we agreed it was correct but decided (at our parents request) that it probably would not be good to share with our other friends for a few years, lol.

The point of the story in relation to the thread is that I had always been told by my parents that they didn’t think they would ever have children and prayed for me, promising to give me back to God if He would grant them a child.

Thus until probably Jr. High I truly believed that couples prayed and then had sex in order to get pregnant.

Later on in life I thought, how stupid was that until one day I realized how beautiful it truly was and “through the eyes of a child” God had shown me what the martial embrace was truly about.

My wife and I do not pray often before but that’s probably because we have 4 kids now and not a lot of time. However I can remember us doing exactly what I thought (who knows maybe they did I never asked) my parents did when we were having problems getting pregnant the first time. God answered those prayer in abundance, we have been truly blessed.

It was definitely awkward at first - we were Presbyterian and although I had been a Youth Minister at one time… a lot less devout. But after a few times it definitely didn’t seem strange anymore and definitely didn’t kill the mood.

Try it sometime, you might be surprised!

Joe

 

[budgie2]

It’s already been said but if you want to pray then go for it. I’m sure God will bless your love making, after all he made our sexuality and making love is a spiritual aswell as physical union. I can’t pray as my husband would think it’s wierd. It’s a shame that there aren’t more books on sexuality written by married couples out there but there’s nothing wrong also with buying a book on sex in order to spice up love life if things have gone slow or just to experiment. I personally would avoid photos, but diagrams are better. Also dressing up for your husband when he comes home for work, and as a wife you can wear anything in the shops aslong as it’s behind closed doors and closed curtains.