Praying to Mary doesn't feel right

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petitfleur said:
I wasn’t raised in any religion but attended a Catholic school and later worked side beside with nuns in a home for the developmentally disabled.
I like the rosary becuase of the meditations on Jesus, but have a hard time with prayers like the Angelus. I am currently doing a Christmas novena praying to Mary and it seems wrong to me. Meditating on her life and goodness is one thing but the praying to her is just uncomfortable to me. Anyone have a similar problem or insight?
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“Abandoning the Mother is but one step from abandoning the Son.”
 
There have been some excelent responses here, but I thought I should reiterate:
If it feels like “Mary worship” to you, Don’t do it.
More likely, though, it’s not worshipping Mary that you’re doing, but you are fearing that you are somehow “worshipping” her due to what others have said.
You know what is in your heart.
You know you are not worshipping Mary.
If you feel the need to let others control your prayer life, then by all means avoid all Marian devotions. Please realize that doing so denies grace to you that Jesus has given you.
 
petitfleur said:
I wasn’t raised in any religion but attended a Catholic school and later worked side beside with nuns in a home for the developmentally disabled.
I like the rosary becuase of the meditations on Jesus, but have a hard time with prayers like the Angelus. I am currently doing a Christmas novena praying to Mary and it seems wrong to me. Meditating on her life and goodness is one thing but the praying to her is just uncomfortable to me. Anyone have a similar problem or insight?
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St. Philip Neri
“To begin and end well, devotion to our Blessed Lady, the Mother of God, is nothing less than indispensable.”

Saint Maximilian Kolbe
“Never be afraid of loving the Blessed Virgin too much. You can never love her more than Jesus did.”

St. Teresa of Jesus
“The devotions we practice in honor of the glorious Virgin Mary, however trifling they be, are very pleasing to her divine Son, and He rewards them with eternal glory.”

St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori
“When the devil wishes to make himself master of a soul, he seeks to make it give up devotion to Mary.”
 
InspiritCarol said:
There have been some excelent responses here, but I thought I should reiterate:
If it feels like “Mary worship” to you, Don’t do it.
More likely, though, it’s not worshipping Mary that you’re doing, but you are fearing that you are somehow “worshipping” her due to what others have said.
You know what is in your heart.
You know you are not worshipping Mary.
If you feel the need to let others control your prayer life, then by all means avoid all Marian devotions. Please realize that doing so denies grace to you that Jesus has given you.
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Some wonderful thoughts above Carol. Thank you for sharing these.

In regards to the bolded though…just a comment or two…
  1. If one undertakes certain “Marion devotions” because of the influence of others and even though those devotions are uncomfortable to them - that too is letting others “control your prayer life”. Son - in so far as this concept goes, it cuts both ways.
  2. I have a bit of a problem with the idea that it denies grace. I will agree that it does not utilize an avenue of Grace. However, if one is uncomfortable with the avenue then it will interfere with the receipt of Grace. Remember that God offers us Grace but we must receive/cooperate with that grace. Feeling uncomfortable in ones prayer life is not conducive to the receipt and cooperation in grace.
I agree that this thread has offered much good advice and insight, as have other, similar, threads and it has been offered in charity, even if not always with clarity…🤷😊…
The beautiful thing about our Church the immense diversity available in it’s prayer life. The many and varied approaches available, from the Highly “Charismatic” to the Deeply “Mystical”, along with the many great examples available through the communion of saints, the Holy Scripture, and our own local communities offers a tapestry of prayer, devotion and participation in grace that is unmatched anywhere else in the Christian world - except perhaps with our EO brothers…

I LOVE being Catholic - Praise God almighty.

Peace
James
 
I think the term “praying” to Mary is misleading. She is the Mother of God, therefore, it only makes sense to ask for Her aid. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you understand this. I’m sure that Jesus does want us to ask His Mother for help as He did for 33 years! She is closer to God than we are, so her prayers are always heard. We should love the one that Christ loved so much, His Mother. You can love your friend’s mom and ask her for advice or prayers, it is only natural to ask our Best Friend’s mother the same!
May God Bless you!
 
petitfleur said:
I wasn’t raised in any religion but attended a Catholic school and later worked side beside with nuns in a home for the developmentally disabled.
I like the rosary becuase of the meditations on Jesus, but have a hard time with prayers like the Angelus. I am currently doing a Christmas novena praying to Mary and it seems wrong to me. Meditating on her life and goodness is one thing but the praying to her is just uncomfortable to me. Anyone have a similar problem or insight?
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I understand where you are coming from. I am a Catholic revert and had to go slow with praying to Mary. I would pray that you ask Jesus to lead you and help you to get to know his and your mother. We are as Christians adopted into Jesus’ family.

Also,I am a mother of an only son and when my son’s friends are friends with me it makes him closer to his friends. If they are rude and the kind that are always putting down parents,he doesn’t get as close to them.

Another good place to start is maybe a novena to Our Lady of Guadalupe. Her message is so simple and yet so beautiful, she is our mother and is here to help us.

Do not stop asking for her intercession but ask her to help you get to know her.

This is part of my signature below but I thought I would highlight it here:** It will be she (Mary) who makes the soul live incessantly for Jesus Christ, and will make Jesus live in the soul” St. Louis de Montfort**
 
Wanted to relay a little story.
I mentioned praying the Immaculate Conception Novena. today was the ninth day and as I was driving today I saw a bumper sticker that read:
Can’t find Jesus?
Go find His Mother!

I thought it was appropriate. thank you everyone for your (name removed by moderator)ut I appreciate them. I think this will take time I am willing and open minded about this and taking actions though I don’t feel like it.
 
Please read the below passage by St. Ireneaus of Lyon who was a disciple of St. Polycarp, who was a disciple of St. John the Evangilist (the Apostle and author of the Gospel of John and Book of Revalation):

“Even though Eve had Adam for a husband, she was still a virgin… By disobeying, Eve became the cause of death for herself and for the whole human race. In the same way Mary, though she had a husband, was still a virgin, and by obeying, she became the cause of salvation for herself and for the whole human race.”

You can take comfort in knowing that Christians have ALWAYS from the very beginning venerated and petitioned Mary for her intercession. If you look at the whole of Christian history, it is abnormal to not pray to Mary and the Saints.

I recommend you attend an Orthodox liturgy. They of couse have been in schism with the Catholic Church for a 1000 years (don’t recieve their communion), but they mention Mary much more than Catholics during the liturgy (often referring to her as Theotokos which means God-bearer). The Protestant reformers (or should I say de-formers) have muddied the waters quite a bit, especailly in America where they are the majority. We can take comfort in knowing that in the end the truth will prevail!
 
***My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,
my spirit rejoices in God my Savior
for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.

He has mercy on those who fear him
in every generation.
He has shown the strength of his arm,
he has scattered the proud in their conceit.

He has cast down the mighty from their thrones,
and has lifted up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.

He has come to the help of his servant Israel
for he remembered his promise of mercy,
the promise he made to our fathers,
to Abraham and his children forever.

(Lk 1:46-55)
 
JRKH said:
Cat -
I beg you to remember that freerf was responding to a specifi prayer that I referenced in response to an earlier posting that said we pray “with” or “through” Mary.
The Prayer I posted, the Memorarie (sp)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.
This Prayer has no inkling of prayer to God through or with Mary. It is purely Marion and is prayer TO Mary.

freerf simply responded to me that this is indeed something that is troubling to protestants (and I admit it is uncomfortable to me as well).

But the entire exercise was in the narrow scope of whether we pray “To” saints or “through” saints to God.

So - now - Looking at your response, can you tell me what we are asking **from God **through Mary in the Memorarie (Sp)?

This is where the confusion can come in for Protestants as well as converts and reverts to the faith.
This is why I advise others that such prayer and such devotions are private matters and if someone is uncomfortable with it then they should not use it. Prayer should be comfortable and true to the heart so that nothing interferes with the efficacy of said prayer.

Peace
James
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James,

You’re my new hero. Your clarity and honesty is sooo refreshing!
 
Cat_Herder said:
You hadn’t, until now. Don’t take it personally. We are not in court. Remember that Catholic Answers archives these threads and that many lurkers in the future are going to see what you and I have written here. So it is vital that we do not minimize Our Lady for the sake of ecumenical dialogue, lest people draw bad conclusions from what we have written and surmise that, for example, the Marian dogmas are optional when they are not.

Peace.
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This is simply terrible logic. Empathy and honesty sholdn’t be steamrolled for fear of “minimizing our lady”.
 
I understand how you feel because I was Protestant before I was Catholic and it was difficult for me to begin praying to Mary.

However with time I began to see that she is our Mother, she loves us and prays for us, and we can ask her to pray for us 🙂 we gain much this way spiritually because her prayers are powerful.

There are times when we pray to Mary, as in the Memorare mentioned above, but this is always with the understanding that she helps us by her intercession. Not without God… how can Mary be ever separated from her Son? 🙂 they are not separate, not in opposition, not in competition. Neither is prayer a form of worship. Only God is to be worshipped.

Maybe this might help…youtube.com/watch?v=kUdYeYy3NQA

God bless!
 
I grew up in a home where my mother I think crossed the line into mariolatry. Always praying to Mary but never to God. The secrets of Fatima were more important then the Gospels. We also had priest that only gave homilies on Mary. It was very strange.

So in my adulthood, I made a conscious decision to concentrate on God, to never really practice Marion devotion and to look askance at the Marion apparations. As I grew older, I find myself praying spontaneously to Mary in a more personal way. I even have a picture of Our Lady in my office. I feel comfortable in this. However, I still have difficulties believing in Marion apparations other then Fatima, Lourdes and Guadalope.
 
I don’t think any saint in heaven would accept people erroneously worshipping them. The saint would make sure that your prayers and petitions are aligned towards God, even if channelled through him/her.

And what would make God more happier than all His children praying in communion with each other for the glory of Him and all his creation? He may even shed a tear 😛
 
Thomas_Redd said:
I grew up in a home where my mother I think crossed the line into mariolatry. Always praying to Mary but never to God. The secrets of Fatima were more important then the Gospels. We also had priest that only gave homilies on Mary. It was very strange.

So in my adulthood, I made a conscious decision to concentrate on God, to never really practice Marion devotion and to look askance at the Marion apparations. As I grew older, I find myself praying spontaneously to Mary in a more personal way. I even have a picture of Our Lady in my office. I feel comfortable in this. However, I still have difficulties believing in Marion apparations other then Fatima, Lourdes and Guadalope.
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I feel it’s objectively impossible to idolize the saints in a sinful way. Their lives on earth will naturally turn you to God, and, as active participants in heaven, the saints just wouldn’t allow sinful idolatry. They have been given the right to be venerated. It’s the things and people that aren’t considered holy, that could lead to idolatry and sin.

For example, if you meditate upon Our Blessed Mother, St. Peter, St. Ambrose, or St. Joan of Arc, since their lives were oriented towards God, your spiritual growth will be oriented towards God as well. If you meditate upon say, Michael Jackson, the same way you would a saint, since his life wasn’t oriented towards God, your spiritual growth will fall wayward as well.

The only thing that could hinder the veneration of saints is your personal viewpoint. The actual prayer to the saints isn’t intrinsically evil. The devil cannot inspire sin from that reality. What the devil could do, is at least, obscure the beautiful reality from your vision, and at worst, turn you completely away from it. So I repeat what others have said, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s best to pray from what you know to be good and true, and is comfortable.
 
Monica4316 said:
I understand how you feel because I was Protestant before I was Catholic and it was difficult for me to begin praying to Mary.

However with time I began to see that she is our Mother, she loves us and prays for us, and we can ask her to pray for us 🙂 we gain much this way spiritually because her prayers are powerful.
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I agree with this absolutely. Asking our Mother to pray for and with us is a beautiful thing. AND since God already knows our needs, the simplest prayers are the best in my opinion…The Hail Mary fits this bill to a tee. Right Honor and Right request. 👍
There are times when we pray to Mary, as in the Memorare mentioned above, but this is always with the understanding that she helps us by her intercession. Not without God… how can Mary be ever separated from her Son? 🙂 they are not separate, not in opposition, not in competition. Neither is prayer a form of worship. Only God is to be worshiped.
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Nicely put. I bolded this short section above because I see this as the essential thing for us to recognize. Jesus and Mary are not opposed or in competition. And so - in our prayer life we cannot offend one by going to the other in proper form. Therefore if I, or any other prefers to pray directly to Jesus, Mary will not be in any way offended or disappointed. Likewise if I or anyone else prefers to pray through Mary to Jesus then Jesus will not be offended or disappointed.

This is why these types of conversations - well parts of them - can feel troubling. It’s like a person is made to feel “inferior” if they don’t have this “prayerful” relationship with our Lady.
I’m not saying that you have you have done this Monica - you haven’t, but believe me there have been times - on other threads where this has happened.

The point is that, since Jesus and Mary are not in competition, but are both perfectly aligned in their wills with the Will of the Father, then however we are comfortable in our prayer life should be equally efficacious. Therefore, if one is uncomfortable with Marion prayers (or some of them) or with intercessory prayer to saints in general, then it is perfectly alright for them to not engage in it.

To each his own…👍

Peace
James
 
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